mom has fatty liver, still drinks and is on her way to cirrosis.. how do i help?

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jenn11208
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/21/2009 6:47 PM (GMT -7)   
any advice would be appreciated. my mom has been heavily drinking for most of my life, i'm 33.  she is clinically depressed, isolated herself from friends and family and will not do anything b/c it interferes with her ability to drink.  She tells people, not me, but other members of the extended family that she has nothing to live for and recently has disclosed that she is getting cirrosis and that her doctor told her to stop drinking.. i called her doctor, and was told that my mother is not in good heath, she's 58, has a fatty liver and lung disease.  When asked if she needs to just "cut back" or stop completely, the doctor told me that my mom needs to get into a long-term rehab or she will drink herself to death and develop cirrosis.
 
my entire life has been impacted by her drinking, i have tried numerous times to plead with her to stop, she has tried and failed, i explained that it's a disease and that i would be there to support her by going to AA or whatever we needed to do to help.  She can't stop drinking on her own, and i don't think she is strong enough to make the decision to go to rehab.. What does someone do in this situation? 
 
I am also afraid that if i tell her that i talked to her doctor, and know all about her health situation, she will give up completely and i can't live with that guilt.. any suggestions on what to do would be greatly appreciated.. i am really at a loss... thanks!!

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 9/21/2009 7:58 PM (GMT -7)   
This situation is so hard, because she has to really want to stop drinking. And when it becomes an addiction, it is so hard to stop.

Might I suggest that you talk to a professional about this? We can be here for you, but you need somebody more educated with this situation. If I were you, I would seek counseling, you really need the support.

I lost two sisters very young. One drank herself to death. There was nothing anybody could do to stop her. She just kept drinking and drinking. Until she got very ill. She also had lupus. So it was really sad, so I understand how you feel. Could you talk your mother into counseling? I really think that could help her. You may have to let her know how this is effecting you. To make you feel better.
though I really don't feel capable on advising you with this, I would say that you should try to get her into counseling. What about a family intervention? Have you talked to anybody in the family?

I am really at a loss for words, because this hits so close to home. I hope that you can find a solution. Best wishes.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 9/21/2009 9:37 PM (GMT -7)   
jenn, i would leave info for her on all avail support groups, AA, Rehab and maybe some info from the hosp or web on the effects of cirrohis etc in an envelope. other than this i am unsure. professional help is needed, but it is up o her. for you, i would recommend that your health not be further impacted, as this is clearly having an effect, so take care of you as well. with loving compassion. jamie.
 
dx, mdd, sever borderline personality disorder.

aannddyy00
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 9/21/2009 10:51 PM (GMT -7)   
hi jenn, my cousin is currently dealing with his alcoholism. he worked with me in the family business and his drinking affected his work and my uncle told him he was done working and he was taken to rehab. I dont think he is ready to deal with it yet. He went to rehab and got out and a week later was arrested for his 4th dui. hes been in jail for almost 2 months and everyone in my family says thats best so he can dry out. I really wish i could offer better advice, but all i can think of is to just stay supportive and keep offering help.
Andy
Andy


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/22/2009 7:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi jenn,

Welcome to HealingWell and the depression board.

I lost my father in March to alcoholism. He had destroyed his liver and kidneys with drinking. He had several failed attempts at rehab, but they didn't stick.
There is only so much you can do. I completely understand the frustration and despair that goes with having an alcoholic parent. However, you don't say if you're Depressed. This is a depression discussion board, not an alcoholism one. May I recommend that you seek support from AlAnon? www.al-anon.alateen.org You can't control your mother's behavior, much as you might like to fix it, but you can get help for your own emotions.

Good luck,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 9/22/2009 9:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jenn,

I am sure that you are depressed watching your mother drink herself to this state.

My suggestion to you, if I didn't already mention it, is to check out counseling. Somebody professional who can help you with this situation so that you can take care of yourself. In the meantime, keep posting as we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


jujub
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 10392
   Posted 9/22/2009 10:38 AM (GMT -7)   

Jenn, did you know there is a Hepatitis forum here at HealingWell where the members are primarily loved ones or care providers for family members with liver failure and other liver diseases? Most of them have experienced issues similar to yours and they can be very supportive. You might take a peek in there to see if it looks like it would be helpful to you.

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=25

I wish you peace and strength, dear.


Judy
 Ulcerative colitis forum co-moderator
 
Moderate to severe left-sided UC diagnosed 2001. Flared for 5 years, finally in remission with Remicade since March 2006. Colazal,  Remicade, Nature's Way Primadophilus Reuteri.
Avascular necrosis in both shoulders is  my "forever" gift from steroids.
Chronic joint/connective tissue/muscle pain; TKR 05/09 
"My life is an ongoing medical adventure"
 


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 9/24/2009 3:13 AM (GMT -7)   
good on you judy. hi from jamie. hope you are well. with compassion. jamie. jenn all the best. healings for all.
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