Need Help, guidance

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JRazz
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 9/24/2009 1:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello all, I am a frequent visitor to the site, and while I do not post a lot, I do take a lot out the messages I read. A little background about myself, I am a 30 year old, college educated, fun, outgoing, good looking, in great physical shape, and while all that may seem great to some, I am missing the things that make people happy, and have a life they are proud of. I was let go of my job in June and I was left with no option but to leave the state of Florida and start over and so I was encouraged to move in with my brother and his wife. So I took them up on the offer and I thought for sure that I would be able to land a job in the big city, well after a couple of frustrating interviews I am still without a job, and most recently I have gone on 3 interviews with the same company for a position that is perfect for my skillset and education. I had the last interview this past Tuesday and I got the usual we will get back to you very soon for round 4, and while this process is very very frustrating I feel as if it is a test of my patience for how much I want (and need) this position. But getting back to the way I feel, I feel like I am 30 years old and I feel like I am so far behind the 8 ball with "life" i.e getting married, having kids, white picket house the american dream I know it is my dream to have all those, and I feel like I am NEVER going to attain them. At this very moment I feel so lost, confused and hurt and I feel like the wheels are just spinning off of my life because I have not made the most of life and this economy is not helping at all. I feel as if I do not get this position (and I am thinking POSITIVE I will) I will have to move back to my parents house in a different state and that would put me in a bigger funk then I am already am in, I guess I am looking for my big break and I am willing to do whatever it is to achieve it. I do not know what to do, I have never ever been this low, or felt this bad about myself especially when so many people expect so many big things from me because who I am (or who they view me as) and I need to get back to me loving myself, getting my self-confidence back and for me to get a life rolling! I would greatly appreciate any and all feed back anyone could give me, I feel like reading these boards is all I have and that y'all are my psychologist.

vers
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/24/2009 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I am in the process of trying to look for a job myself. It has been a tiring process. Just like you, I have the perfect skill set, but the reality is that the economy really sucks right now. And you are definitely not alone on this. Don't give up. The way you see yourself does not have to revolve around your career. Try to think positive and the good things that you do have in your life. A friend told me today that people stop growing once they stop dreaming. Dream hard, be active and you will get what you want. I truly do believe that. I know that it's easy said then being done, but life is not supposed to be easy anyway. We all need to learn how to cope living in this world. Once that is attained, you can do anything. I only say this because I once had a life that I truly enjoyed living.

JRazz
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 9/24/2009 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
vers, I very much appreciate your feedback in this matter, I just do not understand why I feel like career is the defining characteristic of who I am as a person when I know it should not at all. I think it leads back to my last long term relationship and she wanted me chiseled out of this perfect life and perfect man but I was not it because of my job, never mind the fact that I treated her like gold, and showed her that all men were not jerks and there still are gentleman out there, just hard to come by. This is a frustration that I never thought would ever come about.

Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 9/24/2009 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   

We have all hit that point where nothing, I mean nothing, was going or coming our way.  One day, one positive step forward can make all the difference in the world.  Try and hang on, maybe do some volunteer work.  You never know when you might meet someone that can open career doors for you.  The job situation in my state is bad as well.  I am grateful everyday I get up that I have a job.  But I have been unemployed before and remember how frustrating it is to look, have 2 or 3 interviews and nothing.  I recall mailing out 38 resumes in one week and no calls.  Talk about feeling beaten down, but eventually the phone did ring and got a job.  Stay positive and do not give up.  You have plenty of time to settle down and raise that family.  I did not have my first child until age 32.  I was really glad I waited because by then I had done all the fun single stuff and was into being a good parent and enjoying my marriage.  Things happen when they are suppose to, have faith.  I hope tomorrow finds you feeling better, step back and look at things from a different point of view...........you just might find what you are looking for. turn

Gem


JRazz
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 9/24/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Gem, Thank you so much for your response. I am a true believer in things happen for a reason, its just sometimes hard to understand why they happen and is there an end to this pain.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 9/24/2009 5:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jrazz,

Welcome to the forum.

I do have to state though that we are not professionals. And not psychologists. Just people struggling with depression. I see that you have gotten some good advice so far. But I have to ask you, do you actually feel like you are depressed? I know that things have been difficult for you. And that jobs are hard to find, as they are everywhere. There are many, many people in the same situation as you are.

I hope that you can take some of the advice and put it to good use. I hope that you find a job soon. And yes, I agree, things do happen for a reason. You life will start falling into place for you. Just keep trying.
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


JRazz
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 9/24/2009 6:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Getting by, I do feel depressed, not only about the job situation but life in general, I feel lost, hopeless, and lack confidence and the ability to love and believe in myself which is a very scary and lonely feeling. I feel like I have let down so many people and most importantly I feel like I let myself down. It is getting worse by the day

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 9/24/2009 7:04 PM (GMT -7)   
I think that you are being way too hard on yourself. We all struggle. It is the nature of things. Trying to pull yourself through. So keep pushing on. And remember that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 9/25/2009 5:15 AM (GMT -7)   
You are welcome....I hope today finds you feeling better and that something good comes your way.  If you keep feeling more and more down, please go see a Dr. to talk about what is going on with you.  Please don't wait too long and I agree with above you are being way too hard on yourself.
 
Gem
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