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gustafer
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/4/2009 10:12 PM (GMT -7)   
heyy the problem is a couple off things. since i was in elementary school councelors have said that i have depression and altrougth up to high school (im 17) they have said the same and they have even said when i got up to high school that i had enxiety and addiction problems and was recomended to see a psycologist butt my parents never have wanted 4 me 2. eavry day and drink almost eavry day and whenever i can get my hands on eanithing alse i do it 2. also mostt off my worst and most recent depression has come from a recent problem when around a year ago i started going out with this girl and we dated for around 6 months or 4 and i had realised trougth this relationship that i had a bigg problem since i was completely obssesed with her and trougth that relationship lots off things happened wich left her has my only meens besides  to cheer me up, such has i got arrested, kicked out off school, beaten by my parents for the 1st and only timme, friends died and she was always there trougth all off it, after she broke up with me i went for around 3 months drinking and getting really drunk and  and eanithing alse i could do to try and forget about her and trougth that timme i insulted her daily for a reason i still cant understand after that timme passed and we didnt talk for about 3 months we became friends with benefits and friends again and now she is one off my best friends butt not being able to go out with her makes me want 2 drink and myself some how eavry day to just forget about her also about 3 weeks ago i left the U.S. to go to my homme country where i have been for the last 4 weeks where i courently dont have any friends, my parents dont let me go out since we have just arrived and i dont know much here and its dangerouse, i start school soon and all i do all day is stay homme and compusevly look for any sign off atention from this girl who just today told me that she didnt want 2 talk 2 me for the next couple off months, eavry day and eavry hour prity much i cant help butt think about her obbsesivly and always want 2 be with her, i check my email eavry day for unlist an hour or 2 after i write her a misseage (usually around 5 or 6 messages eavry 5 hours) 2 check iff shes talked 2 me. trougth all that has happened 2 me with her im still in love with her and all i want 2 do right now is  myself i really dont know what to do not to mention whenever we talk i try and find out iff shes been with other guys and the response i got is usually a yes. for what iv looked up what i have sounds like a thing called "obbsesive love" butt i could just be thinking it is. i really need help i dont know what to do i feal like all this has been building up inside and covered up by  and now is starting to spill over i really need help.
 
sorry to eavry one for my horrible writing and thanks to eany one that may post something or has taken the timme to read this
 
 
Sorry that I had to edit, please read forum rules.  We are not to mention illegal drugs or suicide. 

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 10/4/2009 11:24:14 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 10/4/2009 10:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Gustafer,

One thing that you need to do is get back in school. Get an education somewhere. Your spelling shows me that. It is so important to have an education in this day and age.

I know that partying and all is fun right now and makes you think that you are feeling better. But you can't use that in place of the natural happiness that you have with your girl. That is no excuse. I think that you do it because you want to. And I don't look down on you for that. That is your choice. But I don't think it is a wise one at this time. If you really want things to get better, you need to get an education, learn a trade, Get a good job, and learn to love yourself for who you are. Then you may start looking for a woman to settle down with and have a family. I know easier said than done. But those things will fall into place for you if you only try. And doing that is by going back to school. If you can't go back to your regular school, go to night school. Or get a ged. You can do this. I know that you can.

Best wishes

Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18772
   Posted 10/5/2009 3:57 AM (GMT -7)   
still back at school, i am 37. worked until my brain cracked. been pensioned off for a bit. my life is starting to come together, let me tell you i wished i had stayed in school. a mature age student-and life learner i recommend you go back, real quick. cheers, jamie. ps. a missed spent youth is just that!!!! missed, playing catch up can be a real pain in the.............good luck. jamie
 
dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

Sooty
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 10/5/2009 4:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Gustafer,
As the others have said, you need an education. But it seems all you have on your mind is this obsesion with this girl. You need to work on that problem with a good therapist. You need to understand that you can live life without her, and any other girl. Yes, you love her, I believe that, but you need to love yourself, too. You deserve more than what you are feeling. You need to think of yourself, and ONLY yourself, right now. Please see a therapist, if any way possible. Good luck to you, and know that people care. (I don't type well, either).

gustafer
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/5/2009 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
i forgot to mention butt i am planning to go back 2 school but my parents are currently looking for a school for me to attend to since in my country its really hard to get good education without entering a private school. also im very sry i hadent really read the rules before i just kainda went straigth too writing i read the rules now and im again very sry

Post Edited (gustafer) : 10/5/2009 10:31:04 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 10/5/2009 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Gustafer,

I am glad that you read forum rules. Thank you. I am glad that you are continuing to post.

The above statements are right, you do need to work on your education and forget about this girl and work on getting yourself better. You are a good person, and deserve better.

I hope that you start feeling better soon. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


enWayen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 10/5/2009 10:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Heej Gustafer,

I think I can relate to what you are going through. When I was between the ages 15 and 17 I was also obsessed with girls. Unfortunately I am also afraid of them due to my social anxiety :-), so I never really dated anyone. But now, being 19, the obsessiveness is gone. So maybe for you it will too be something you grow over. In the meantime, it might be a good idea to try as many things you can imagine that will take your mind off of her. School can be one, as a hobby, working in the garden, working in the household, or cooking can be. Labour like that can be very rewarding, and give you a sense of self-worth. And if you are lucky you can be happy doing that and be happy without the need of thinking about her. It might help.

Take care Gustafer, and keep us posted OK? That can be a huge help too!

Erik
Moderator on the Depression Forum

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.
Perfection is found in everything being as you want it to be. Have no expectations, and perfection will be inevitable.


gustafer
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/5/2009 12:01 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks for helping out and replyng =] butt the problem is that i have tried just aabout eavrithing 2 get her off my mind itried hanging out with my friends back when i was in the us, helping in the house, foucocing on my job and all around keeping myself occupied butt i always have her in my mind altrougth this timme i cant help butt 2 some how some way always have contact with her unlist onces a day even iff she doasnt reply and the problem also is that i would come to the conclusion this is usual teen age break up stuff and that it would go away eventually butt its been over a year now and no matter what i cant take her out off my mind, and i feal like its been getting worse and worse has timme has passed, i also tried forcebly stopping any contact with her such has deleating her number, her emai, myspace, face book, not hang out with whom and where she hanged out and avoid her when i saw her butt all this things didnt last for a week or less and i always find a way to contact her, thats why iv been looking for help with this eavry ware couse its really taking up my life and iv tried eavrithing i can think off to stop being obsessed with her. another bigg problem is that even iff we dont go out and she doasnt love me any more and i want 2 stop loving her and being obsessed i still want 2 be friends with her becouse shes been my best friend and has always helped me and hanged on to me even tho iv insulted her worse than i have ever insulted any one so i also dont want to stop talking to her.

Post Edited (gustafer) : 10/5/2009 1:55:13 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 10/5/2009 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I guess that the best thing that you can do is to take it one day at a time. See what happens. I take medications to keep me from thinking too much about something. Maybe that is what you need. Have you been to a doctor lately? Or a counselor?

I really don't know what else to tell you. Your obsession with her isn't really healthy. Hopefully you two can be friends. You have to get on with life and learn about you. You are a good person and deserve to think of you.
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


gustafer
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/5/2009 2:20 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks really and i have been with councelors butt that didnt work since the last one thougth the problems i had and the things i did to relive this stress and sadness were bad enough for parent intervention and that just lead my parents to not trust councelors and doctors my parents have been telling me for years now that i want to go to a psychologist butt they always tell me they will send me to one soon and never happens for years now, also for the kainda problems i have shared can any one tell me iff i should go to a psychologist, therapist or what kainda doctor should i go to? iff i ever do get the chance to go to one

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 10/5/2009 2:27 PM (GMT -7)   
I think that a psychologist is good because they do talk therapy and if they feel you need medications they will consult a psychiatrist. I have been going for years and it has really helped me.

I don't understand the intervention thing. If you want to explain more you can unless there will be rules broken. I think a bit of therapy with a psychologist or any type of counselor would be good. But psychologists have always helped me the most.

I hope that you can start thinking of what you would like to do with your life instead of dwelling on past issues. It is so important.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18772
   Posted 10/6/2009 1:38 AM (GMT -7)   
agree with therapy. without it i would not be where i am now. better. take the plunge and find you. all the best. jamie

blueboy83
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 10/8/2009 4:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello gustafer, I'm sorry that you are having a rough time right now. I can understand why this girl is important to you, because she was there for you during tough times. People many times forge relationships during times like these. However, it seems like right now it is not a healthy relationship. Focus on getting yourself better, and reach out to people (parents, counselors, or this place) who can help. Take it a day at a time and find new ways to occupy yourself. It takes time but you will get better.
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