How do i tell a girl about me??

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John93
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 10/8/2009 3:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Im depressed right now because i rly like this girl, but idk how to tell her... i allready creeped her out un-imaginably, but i acted fine around her just over the phone i was angry/depressed sounding, and she didnt like that, and on my myspace i sent her tons of msg's that only someone with mental issues would send.. Currently im tryin to pull myself together, and i said someone hacked my myspace, but if she beleives this eventualy ill have to tell the truth, what would be the best way to word it??

John93
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 10/8/2009 3:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Read my need urgent help to know my issues..

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 10/8/2009 5:17 AM (GMT -7)   
If you feel that you need to tell her the truth about mental and emotional issues. I would just do it. I don't know what would be the best way. But I guess you would start with the beginning and go from there. Maybe write down what you want to tell her. Practice it. Or just give her a note. I am not sure, I am probably not the best person to give advice here. I hope this all works out for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 10/8/2009 5:20 AM (GMT -7)   

Welcome to HW. Im going to try and adress your issues.

  1. You have been 'stalking' this girl- thats why she has pulled away. You may have come off sounding seriously desperate. Girls dont like to feel suffocated or trapped- from what you have said, she seems truly uncomfortable around you- give her some room to breathe.
  2. Be yourself- dont try and be what you think she will like. Stay true to yourself.
  3. You are considering lying to her about your excessive myspace comments- if you really do care about this girl then you would be honest with her.
  4. This is not the way to get a girlfriend, or a way to get someone to notice you. I think you need to set yourself boundaries when it comes to this girl and dont invade her space.
  5. You sound quite obsessed with her. Have you tried therapy, counselling- anything to explain your obsessive feelings towards this girl?
  6. You cant force love. It takes time and it takes the right person. Following her every move and bombarding her with comments on myspace will not have a good outcome.
  7. Tell her straight up how you feel and that because you admire her so much, you have made mistakes when it comes to being totally honest. Lay your cards on the table- Im sure she would appreciate honesty and the courage it takes to say these things aloud. And if you tell her about your depression and unhappiness and that freaks her out, well then she's not the right person. You need someone to accept you for who you are and love you regardless of any issues you may have.

 

I hope that wasnt too blunt, but you asked for advice, and I wanted to adress the major issues.

I wish you all the best,

Maz



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Post Edited (Mazfire) : 10/8/2009 6:24:36 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 10/8/2009 2:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi John,

I went and read your other thread again. For one thing, I think you need some professional counseling. You keep saying that you are alright but at the same time you are asking for help.

As Maz said, I think you could have alienated this girl by being too envasive. But that isn't the place to start. The place to start is with you. You need to be honest with yourself. And you say you don't want anybody in your head, but at the same time again, you are asking our opinions. So I gave you mine. Start with yourself and get some counseling. We can help ourselves a lot. But it is nice to get an objective opinion about things and the way that we are thinking. You really need that.

You say that you have counseled others, you can see that they needed somebody to look outside of the box. And you helped them with that. This time let somebody help you.

I hope that you didn't mess things up with your friend. Hopefully in time, you will find somebody. But right now, find yourself.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18751
   Posted 10/8/2009 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   
john, i tell everyone i meet that i live with mental illness, soughts it out who will stay and those that don't. -true friends. and all my gf's too.  do you fully understand bi-polar? esp the manic highs and lows. and what happens. i feel that at times you have been reflective of the two. tell her. and i suggest some professional counselling for you as well. jamie

Learning2fly
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 10/9/2009 5:09 PM (GMT -7)   
John, I am very much like Jamiee in the fact that I tell everyone that matters I am bipolar. It is something you have to come to accept as part of you before you can manage a relationship with someone else. Counseling is a huge help. You may also want to see a psychiatrist and get on some medications to level your moods. When I was young, I cycled rapidly between the mania and depressive poles. Sometimes I would go back and forth a few times in a single day. It's not something that will just go away. And it isn't something you can hide from others.

Give this girl a bit of breathing room. Then just tell her the truth about everything, including the myspace stuff. If she accepts you with the bipolar disorder, then you have found a great girl! If she doesn't, that's too bad, but some people just can't deal with it.

I think if you get some counseling, you will be put on the right path and get some direction about what to do and how to handle yourself when it comes to meeting girls. Good luck!!
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