Hi everyone, my name is Greg and I have been reading on this site for a couple of days.
Lately I have been very down and I hadn't felt this depression in a long time.
A little history about myself. In 1985 I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I suffered terribly for quite a few years and was taking all kinds of meds. First time I really noticed the severe depression was the 2nd yr into treatment and it was scary. I had begun to feel like no one cared about me. I began feeling suicidal and also complicated by panic attacks and anxiety. It would have been so much easier to stop the pain and bad feelings in my own way. I am married to a lovely woman (31 yrs and counting) that has been a rock the whole time. She stuck by me no matter how badly I treated her during my depression periods.
For the last month and a half I had been having problems with my Crohn's after several yrs of remission. Last Monday I ended up in the ER with severe abdonimal pain and after the usual test it was determined that I had 6" of my sm. intestine inflamed. My Crohn's was active again. When I went my GI 2 days later she said that we had to change treatments cause my meds weren't working. She wants to jump to the big guns with all thier bad side effects. It was like betting hit in the forehead with a sledge hammer. For the last few days I have been in a complete funk and could feel the old feelings of depression coming on.
By reading this forum I have come to realize that my depression is minor compared to what most of you guys suffer from. This morning it hit me that I just need to move forward and decide what treatment to start and get back to where I was before the Crohn's flared up and not let depression get to me. I know that it will be a struggle to fight it but I have my rock beside me and I WILL NOT let it get me again.
What opened my eyes the most was the young lady Christi and her situation with her younger brother. Her concern for others and by putting others ahead of herself reminded me of my wife. It made me think of her and that I didn't want her to have to go through the whole thing again.
Christi, you sound like a very special person that will make a big differance in the lives of so many others. You just made a big one in how I deal with the next few months of my life. Plus, you have to be special because of your love to ride dirt bikes. I am a Harley rider and it is one of the few ways I can fight my depression. The other is an organization that I am a part of called the Patriot Guard Riders.
Thank-you for providing a place to share. It has been so very enlightening.
Diagnosed with CD in 1986. Have never had to have surgery yet.
Currently taking Pentasa 800 mg daily, Nexium 40mgx2 daily, Dicyclomine 10mg as needed, Simvastatin 80mg daily, low dose Bayer 81 mg, 1500 mg fish oil, and starting on Entocort 9mg.
Have the support of my lovely wife of 30 years who makes sure I stay on the right path.