Lately I'd rather stay in my apartment or sleep than hang out with friends. I am becoming more tired all of the time. I love my work, but the thought of going to work is dreadful sometimes. I love my girlfriend, but I am constantly wondering when it is going to end. I see all of my peers at work connecting and hanging out after work and I want none of it...or sometimes I do, but I know I just come off awkwardly in front of people because deep down I don't want a connection. I feel like I can't connect. I have nothing to say because lately nothing interests me at all.
I understand EXACTLY what you said in the above passage. I feel the same way all the time. I do suffer from depression and a number of other things. Mine however goes like this: I love college, but the thought of going is dreadful. I love my girlfriend, but I am constantly wondering when its going to end. I see everyone at school connecting and making friends and having fun and I dont want to be involved. I get sad thinking about it, but I always seem to be awkward in front of people when I try to connect. I cant connect to people at all. Even my girlfriend I recently started dating. I know how much she cares for me, but I cant seem to feel anything. And I cant do anything because I have no idea if its just my mental state or what... I rarely talk because I just observe things around me and people etc.... I feel I dont have anything important to say.
As you can tell, you are NOT alone. You may want to talk to your doctor or a counselor/therapist. I see a therapist and psychiatrist and take 3 different meds... (keep in mind I also have mulitiple disorders) So, Im not saying you need all of that.. Im only giving you an example. You should at least see someone and talk about how you are feeling. And see what happens form there.
I do hope that you get to feeling "normal" again.. I know how that is... I never feel I am normal.. but Im sure you are very capable of it and that you will work things out. Best of luck to you and keep us posted, take care
Lyrica (15 months-quit Feb. 09), Paxil (10 months-quit 6-4-09), Cymbalta 6-6-09(horrible effects), Prozac (July 09), Rozerem, Melatonin Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-in therapy-pdoc-therapist: dx'ed with Dysthymia
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart
no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to
forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"