hi listare. welcome to the forum. i am jamie, male, 37. i live major depression-endogenous and severe borderline personality disorder. so i understand all of what you are saying. need to give the new medication some time. to lessen your anxiety i would suggest that you try to focus your thoughts. whatever works for you. also keep in contact with your doc. maybe a slight increase in your ad meds may be warranted. mindfulness practice is excellent, as well as DBT. Dialetical behaviour therapy. dbt is used here in australia for the treatment of severe/borderline personality disorders. also i feel it would be useful to you with the aviodant type. my suggestion would be is to refered to a psychiatrist who is well versed in personality disorders and one that practices dbt and or CAT-Congnitive anylitical therapy. my compassion to you. if you are at risk, with any self harm i would suggest that you intervene with seeking appropriate assistance. regards. jamie. ps, check out the forum rules per self harm, etc. thanks. remember that we are here for you. i admire your courage in posting, keep well and safe also.