Hope for my thoughts, continued

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mythoughts
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 143
   Posted 10/18/2009 7:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello, again. It's been two months since my last post. I keep myself busy with teaching, parenting and being a husband.

To review: past suicide attempt 20 yrs ago; marriage troubles starting 10 yrs; affair started, lasted 3 yrs, ended 6 yrs ago; diagnosed with dysthymia in Jan 09, began Cipralex; worsened, involuntary hospitalisation Mar 09, 3 wks, diagnosed Mixed Personality Disorder; successful Intensive DBT for 6 weeks May to Jun 09; seeing MSW every 2 or 3 wks since Jun 09, focussing on GAD, managing my anxieties; and began seeing new Dr last two wks, too. He's altered my meds to see if I can be less drowsy, and wants to explore my past a bit.

They all say that I've come a long way, that I'm doing it all 'right'. But I feel like I am just back to the dysthymia pre Jan 09. I just want to be alone, live far from others. Work, then go home.
But I just keep plugging along. I do get excited about my children, and the unique work I do at my job, but it doesn't last.

I'm trying to cope with my wife and her anxiety and moodiness, which hurts. I miss her still. I feel a fool.

Hope that you are all well, especially Raniah, Karen, Kitt, Jaimee, and Akram (sp?).

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 10/18/2009 9:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mythoughts,

It is wo wonderful to hear from you. You have been missed on the forum.

Truthfully it does sound like you are doing good and I think the way things are going, that the good feeling that you get from your job and your children is going to cover more ground. You will be happier longer. You will have the constant stimilus of both situations. Which is good.

I understand that you and your wife are still struggling. I hope that things are getting better though. It sounds like you are working very hard and I think that it is paying off. We still have our struggles day to day. But I think as long as we have more good time than bad, we are still moving forward.

I am so glad that you are back and it does sound like you are doing good. Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 10/19/2009 4:23 AM (GMT -7)   
sounding a lot better my friend. maybe a little bit of backwards to propel you more forwards. i had similar issues with this. i too would worry when my shrink did this. but now i understand why. you will too. good work my friend. therapy is real hard work, at the best of times, but alike anything the more you invest the more you will receive. great to see you posting. welcome back, and keep posting. with loving compassion. jamie. hoping the med adjustment works. everything is crossed!

mythoughts
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 143
   Posted 10/19/2009 6:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, Karen & jamiee.

How's that job, Karen?

Hope that Raniah and Akram are well.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 10/19/2009 8:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mythoughts,

The job is going great. So far so good. I am not sure if I will be able to work through the winter with my fibromyalgia. But they said that they would give me a leave of absence until spring. So I thought that was cool. I really enjoy working. I kind of look forward to it, I seem to feel better on the days that I work I think because I dont' think about the fibromyalgia. I am too busy. I got good shoes to wear too, so my feet don't get sore. But I have to rest on my days off. So far, so good. I have already started some of my Christmas shopping. I am happy for that. Hopefully get a little at a time and have it done way before Christmas.

Well, I am rambling so I will end here. I hope that you continue to do well. And I hope that you start feeling better about everything. And feel happiness within. You will, it is there, it just has to come to your attention. And it will one day. Take care of you. Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 10/22/2009 2:12 AM (GMT -7)   
karen, my feet have been unbareable the last 3 days, and really sore tonight. maybe a bath later. i can't wait to be employed again. you are doing real well. good that you can have the time off when you know you will be needing it. thx 4 the motivation, yes you are motivating me to get back in thr game. ps my thoughts, keep well and safe and know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. jamie :-)

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/22/2009 6:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning to you and I am so glad to hear from you. I am good but like Karen I too have a part time job and right now I am working two weeks of fulltime. I am working as a subsititue nurse for our school district, 6 different schools, all grades. I am enjoying it but these two weeks are a bit tough. [


I am glad to see you know yourself how far you have come but still recognize you have work to continue. I feel much the same way about myself. I try to concentrate on the good things in life and as you mentioned one of those is our children. I am glad you have your children in your life as well as your job.



Missing your wife is normal and a grieving process you will go through for however long it takesl There is no time frame on how long it takes to recover from the loss of someone important in our lives so know I am here for you and you are a special person.



Be good to you and remember to stay in the moment as it is truly all we really have, this moment, right now.



I wish you peace.



Gentle Hugs,

Kitt
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