The evil mortgage people are at it again

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Tirzah
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Date Joined Jul 2008
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   Posted 10/21/2009 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, I thought I had made some progress, but now there are PI's coming out to my home & my dimwitted neighbors just buzz them into the building & even tell them exactly which entrance I use so they could leave me their evil little notes there.

When is this horrid nightmare going to end. My state says that the time from filing to eviction is 9 months -- which means I still have 8.5 months of this mess to go. I am so overwhelmed. and to now have this guy stalking me trying to serve me legal papers (or so he says -- & I do tend to believe him); I'm just at my breaking point.

As much as I'm terrified of going back into the horrible hospital (I can't post what happened to another patient the last time I was in there b/c it violates Rule #1, but let's just say that absolutely anyone would agree that it was nightmarish), I'm beginning to think that maybe that is the route to go. It would keep me safe, away from the horrible people trying to torment me with ceaseless phone calls, home visits, letters, conversations with my neighbors, calls to my supervisor, etc., etc. You would think I took out a loan from a loan shark. I am scared to go out of my home. Scared to stay in my home. And guilty as can possibly be. I feel horrible about missing the mortgage payments. I tried to work things out, but apparently don't qualify since I only have temporary work.

So I can't do a thing about it but just worry about one thing or the other, and think about the one hundred million regrets that I have about my entire life since I was a child on. I find myself wishing for lightening storms. It's just really awful. Man, I know everyone just wishes I would curl up & die. some days i wish for that too.

so sad frances cry

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/21/2009 9:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Frances,

I am so sorry that you are going through so much right now. The only advice that I can give is to take it one day at a time. I know that this is so difficult for you right now. Know that you are in my thoughts and my prayers. You are a fantastic person and don't deserve all of this piling up on you. I hope that things get better for you.

Best wishes from the bottom of my heart.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 10/21/2009 10:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Frances,
I had popped over on this forum for a different purpose, but just read your post and had to respond. I really do understand. For me, it was the credit card companie and at least they weren't at my door, but the phone calls were horrible. And about every 90 they start up again. I found out they keep selling the debt to another agency.

But when we're in the emotional and physical states we're in...well, they just don't understand, nor will they. I have to keep telling myself that somehow I'll get through all this, although I don't know how. If you need to be admitted for awhile to stabilize yourself, there's no shame in that. Plus, besides keeping you safe and maybe helping reduce your anxiety for awhile, documenting the effects these idiots are having on you may have some legal advantages (although I don't know).

I may not have answers, but please know I understand how it feels to have things continue to pile up and become totally overwhelming. But Karen is right, you don't deserve this any more than I do. It's just life. A lousy piece of it for now, but hang on to some belief that you'll come out on the other side of it one day. That's the only thing that gets me through.

Hugs,

PaLady

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/21/2009 10:29 PM (GMT -7)   
I went through the same with the credit card companies too. And I still have a credit card machine business bothering me. I settled some of the debts and some of them just left me alone after a while. But this one with the credit card machine just wont give up. My seven years are almost up though so I think the statute runs out. I sent the machine back because it had something wrong with it, but that didn't matter because they had me on a lease. I can't pay it and I wont pay it, they can take me to court. I went over some of the credit card companies and they ended not showing up at the end. So I am hopeing that this company will do that. Then I wont have to worry about it anymore, actaully I really don't worry that much. Only for a moment when I hear from them. lol...

Have a great day, though it is night here, technilly morning. 1:28. I am up late. I worked late so it takes me a while to unwind.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 10/22/2009 1:49 AM (GMT -7)   
my heart-felt support to you frances. i wish i was rich, but i am not, otherwise i would pay off your debt. do not let them serve you, accept nothing from anyone in terms of them parasites asking your name so they serve you. darn parasites. it is not that you have not been trying, stick out your 8.5 months. sorry for your situation frances. my compassionate prayers. jamie. hold on, and you are a beautiful person, do not let these parasites bring you down!! jamie.

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 10/22/2009 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks, PA, jamiee & Karen.

All this is just so horrible. I found out that they only can serve me within 30 days of the date of the summons. I know in IL that sometimes the judge will order them to try again. It just creeps me out hearing that the guy intends to set up surveillance on me. I'm worried they will get the name of my client & track me down while I'm at work. The whole thing is just so crazy. I am putting a cover over the little window on my back door (which I used to think was safe, but since my idiot neighbors will believe anything & let anyone in for any reason apparently even inside my locked building I am not safe).

I'm thinking about maybe finding a short-term rental or going to stay with a friend. I don't know. I just think there ought to be a less-upsetting way for them to do all this. I don't even care about losing my home, I just can't stand all the harassment & of course the stupid state I live in is one of 7 that doesn't have any protection for consumers against primary lenders. One of 7 -- how totally backward is that? Probably our shady lawmakers are just trying to protect their own shady practices. Maybe I need to move to another state -- although it sounds like PA is even worse, since at least in IL we can request that 3rd party callers (like collection agencies) not phone us anymore & they have to stop -- they can still send letters, but no phone calls.

uggh! so frustrated. no overwhelmed.

jamiee, you are so sweet, but really this is not about the money, it is about dealing with people who are really awful -- guilt-tripping me, threatening me (not physically), telling all my neighbors about my financial situation & interviewing them about me, etc. I do like your idea about just not responding to anyone who says my name. I'm not sure whether I can break the habit of responding to people who say my name, but I'm sure going to try.

thanks all,
frances

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 10/22/2009 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   
i get that it's not about the $. what they are doing is beyond my intellectual comprehension. it is insidious. parasites, vermon. how can a human being do this to another. i am sickened to the core. your idea of getting out for a bit i highly recommend. stuff em'. this is wrong. my compassionate prayers frances. jamie.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/22/2009 8:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Frances,

I really hate seeing you in this predicament. It sounds like it is the principal of the matter now. I do respect you for standing your ground. Do what you do on your terms and when you are good and ready. But I wish that the harrassment would stop. It would make your life so much more relaxing.

Know that you are a good person and doing the best you can under these hellish circumstances. You are actually a very strong person and I admire that quality in you.

I got to the state of just not answering my phone. Though the bill collectors haven't sent any people around to bother me. It is just phone calls and letters. Since I am working, I dont' even notice the phone calls. I think my husband deletes the messages, I got another letter from them just the other day. But these people make so much money on businesses, that I am just a drop in the hat. I feel soon that they will most likely be leaving me alone. If they take me to court, so be it. I doubt that they will even show up. Just like the last ones didn't.

I hope that soon you can relax and enjoy your life. That is so important. And have piece of mind knowing that you did the best that you could.

Best wishes to you my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 10/22/2009 3:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Frances,
Yes, overwhelming is the word. What I found is that all of it has been - and still is - traumatizing, but I think psychologically I'm getting just a tad better at dealing with the constant kicks when I'm already down. It is very hard when you live alone and you're trying to support yourself.

Maybe at least staying with a friend for a short time would help you be able to relax a little, and then you could see what your perspective is. I think all this triggers the guilt we feel at not being able to pay our bills like we always did, and always expected to. The main comfort I take is knowing I am so far from alone. Not that I wish this on you or anyone, but there is some comfort knowing it's not my fault or a personal thing (although it feels that way).

Sometimes I can just do a minute at a time, other times I work all the way up to a full day! LOL Seriously, I do know it's not easy. If you ever want to catch me you know I'm mostly over on the CP forum. And you know we care about you over there, too!

Hugs,

PaLady

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 10/22/2009 5:53 PM (GMT -7)   
All, thanks for your support.

PA,
I know that the CP people care too. Mostly right now I have been posting to Depression & Thyroid. My thyroid has been going crazy -- it's a vicious circle, hypothyroid causes anxiety, anxiety causes hypo, stress causes depression, depression makes everything worse, blah, blah, blah. I've been really way too much energy lately so I stopped taking my Synthroid which in hindsight probably wasn't a great plan because it was helping a lot with the depression & some with the pain -- non-back joint pain. So things just seem awful. I've been seeing this counselor & I'm not sure what I think about that.

All,
Even worse, I've got this awful systemic fungal infection from becoming too hypo. So I'm so itchy & that attracts attention -- which I don't want! At least my PCP wrote it down for me so my counselor has stopped saying it is some kind of self-harm behavior. Nobody says it's self-harm when you itch chicken pox & this is kinda the same thing. So I'm glad about that. Oh, so many things to worry about.

take care all, I'll try to write to your posts later,
frances

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 10/22/2009 11:07 PM (GMT -7)   
stay strong my dear friend. jamie.

damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 10/23/2009 2:09 AM (GMT -7)   
hi Franses just letting u know that i'm in a similar situation as you and yes it's unbearable to say the least!!! I recieve a phone call everyday also and have gotten to the point that i dont answer. I also dont open any of my mail, it goes in the bin. I to am at the point of no return financially speaking?? All i can say to you is take one day at a time,get some legal advise,but most of all remember "YOU CANT GET BLOOD OUT OF A STONE"" so please dont worrie so much anymore. The main thing is to keep ur self well!! I say stuff them!! Stay strong and u will get there in the end as we all do "somehow"????? look after YOU..... beverley-rose-bud...................
diagnosed with C in 2001.
colorectal anastamosis 2001.
surgery went horribly wrong,swab left inside,emergency surgery 2001.
total colectomy & ileostomy 2001.
surgical complication's-abcess,more surgery 2001.
more complication's-stitches come apart inside and ended up having more surgery and blood transfusion. 2001.
infection at lap site,another abcess. 2001.
i spent 12mths in Cabrini Private Hospital in Melbourne.
1993 diagnosed with endometriosis,then age 27yrs had radical hysterectomy then 2 mths later lost both ovaries.
2005. bi-lateral mastectomy,heart attack on the table,also contracted MRSA in coronary care unit,had staph for about 12mths. pic line for 6 mths for venus access,for daily antibiotics.
also suffer from chronic depression which is mostly caused by my lack of hormone's.
I AM CURRENTLY ON AVANZA FOR MY DEPRESSION!!!!!!!


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 10/23/2009 7:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, Beverly. I hope you get through this okay as well.


My bankruptcy attorney said to just accept service so we agreed to meet in a public place & for me to just accept service. Ultimately, I am surrendering my property & accepting service doesn't really impact anything so I may as well put one less stressor out of my life.

I've decided I hate the new counselor. I get so annoyed because she reminds me of when I played soccer in my younger days -- when someone would fake left & go right. It feels like she is constantly doing that during our sessions -- starting to say one thing/respond one way, and then changing to respond in a different, often contrary way. I just feel so awful. My whole life is falling apart & I am taking down everyone else with me, sucking them into inescapable darkness like a black hole sucks in all light. I just don't want to be around anyone anymore.

And my pain specialist never called in the withdrawal meds for me. Unfortunately, they don't pick up their phone -- always letting it go to voice mail, so there isn't much point in calling again. So I'm about to start going through withdrawal as well. I just hate everything about my whole life. :(

frances

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 10/23/2009 7:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Can you go into your doctors office and tell them that you need something to help you withdraw?  I mean actually go there instead of calling.  Tell them you aren't leaving until you get a script.  That isn't fair that they just leave you to suffer.  I would be calling three times a day and going up there.  If he doesn't want to see you, he should let you know so that you could get help elsewhere.  It sounds crazy to me with the other stuff you said about them. 
 
Try to relax, I do know that it is hard at this point, but it is the best thing that you could do for yourself.  Do you practice meditation?  That really helps me.  Go for a nice walk, get some fresh air.  A brisk walk is best if you can do it. 
 
Could you get another doctor?  Keep your prescription bottles to show them what you were taking so that he/she can atleast give you something to help you. 
 
I dont' know what to say Frances, you sure have a lot on your plate right now.  Get a different counselor too.  Or tell this one how she makes you feel.  This isn't helping you any.  Only causing added stress.  Don't give up.  We will come up with some ideas for you.  You are such a wonderful person and you don't deserve to have to struggle so.  We could do some brainstorming in chat or something.  We should be able to come up with some solutions. 
 
Keep us posted on what you think would help you. 
 
Hugs, Karen wink
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 844
   Posted 10/24/2009 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Francis:  The experience you are describing is absolutely horrendous!  If you remember from previous posts (about 6 months ago) I am in the same boat that you are.....except further along in the process.  I at least was put into a forebearance, which was a six month grace period of not having to pay a mortgage and to try to get on my feet again.  Unfortunately, it ended 3 weeks ago, with me not being able to still find a job, and now they are requiring me to get all my financial statements, hardship letter, etc. together for this Friday for a shot at modification.  Getting back to the point, the phone calls, attorneys and appearances have been absolutely a nightmare, but at least I didn't have anyone physically stalking me or talking to my neighbors.  I can't believe that is legal for them to do it.  I am wondering why you weren't offered the same opportunity at a grace period that I was and I was considerably further behind in not being able to pay my mortgage.
 
As Francis and others have said, you certainly have a lot on your plate and it is definatley effecting your health.  Do you have a close friend that could be with you for mutual support if you followed up on Karen's idea and went to your Dr's office to tell them you won't be leaving without a script?  And as for your therapist/counselor perhaps you should give it one more shot by tellling her how you feel.  Maybe this could lead to a productive conversation or even be a sign for you if it doesn't that you do really need to find another counselor.
 
You are definately in all my thoughts and prayers.  You are NOT a bad person and do NOT deserve this.  I keep telling myself that if this had happened to us at a different time period, when the crash of Wall St. and the stock market had not happened, we would have had a much easier time finding a job.  We may have struggled, but not this hard.  Please remember you are not alone in this.  We all care!
 
Cass

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 10/24/2009 11:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Cass,
I do remember & unfortunately the government plan (I think it's called H.O.P.E. for Homeowners) only can be given to people with regular full-time employment & all I have is a temp job. So I don't qualify. Apparently, according to 60 Minutes, only 8% of people who apply actually are approved for the modification. But I do still have a few months to try to get a job & get a workout. It's just that the stress is so high & bankruptcy is really expensive as well.
I hope things go better for you.

Karen,
I keep having these nightmares that my pain doc is going to try to get me committed if I go back in to see him. A couple years ago I was really angry at him & wrote him a very angry letter. It didn't have any threats about self-harm (or harming others) in it, but it was admittedly a very harshly worded letter that I probably shouldn't have written. So he called the cops on me & had me hauled in for a psych eval to "teach me a lesson". They let me go right after they finished the eval, but I'm worried right now because I am so ENRAGED with myself for being dumb enough to not watch how many meds I was taking a couple months ago. I had nightmares as soon as I realized what I had done that I was going to be urine tested & sure enough I was. For some bizarre reason, my doc thinks that I am mad at him. I told him in so many words that I don't know why he thinks I am mad at him b/c I am just mad at myself, but he says he doesn't believe me. He tells me he won't call the police, but he's often sarcastic & I can't always tell when he is being straight with me & when he isn't. So I still think that if I set foot in his office he is going to call the cops on me as punishment for him thinking I'm mad at him (even though I'm not).

So I'd rather just go through withdrawal on my own. I'm already so miserable that I just really don't care what happens from not having the withdrawal meds. I just can't care about all this any more. Once I go off my pain meds, I won't be able to get out of bed anyways, so most of this stuff just really doesn't matter -- or it shouldn't matter.

I've just had it with everything. I can't seem to go near anything without screwing it up & that is so crushing to me. I just want to cry.

hugs,
frances

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 10/24/2009 1:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Frances,
I don't know how to say this because it's meant out of caring but may sound harsh, and that's the last thing you need. But you really need more help right now, especially to improve your mood (which of course is being influenced by the withdrawal). I know you're not feeling good about your counselor, but your sort of said some similar things about your doctor. When I find myself saying things about more than one person I usually have to stop and ask is it me or them? I say this because I think as others have suggested honestly telling your counselor your responses to her may help her understand how she's being perceived as well as what may be going on with you. She may be the one who can call your PM's office and get through and help get things straightened out, rather than you trying to do it all on your own. She may be going from right to left, so to speak, because perhaps (and I say perhaps, because it's also perhaps true you DO need a different counselor) she's struggling to help you and not finding anything that's clicking. Maybe she needs to recognize how much of a crisis you're in now. And if she's not the right one to help you, let her help you find another therapist, but don't go this alone. I "hear" you wanting to isolate more and more, which you would know when you're head's clearer isn't the route to go, but I've been there, too, where my head's so unclear I just want to stay in bed all day and all night.

The withdrawal is certainly complicating the depression. Please, call your counselor if you can't get a doctor to help and ask for an urgent appointment and tell her (or at least tell her over the phone) how you're feeling and ask her to help.

(((((((((((Frances))))))))))))

I have found all this stuff has just eaten away at the core of my very being. There have been and continue to be huge losses to who I've always perceived myself to be as I've moved through this (and I'm not done). I think that trauma is underestimated by anyone who's not been through it.

More hugs,

PaLady

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 10/24/2009 5:09 PM (GMT -7)   
All,
No worries. I'm taking a break from HW for a while.

take care,
hugs,
frances
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