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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2004
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 11/1/2004 11:13 AM (GMT -6)   
I need some solid straight-forward advice on how to help a long time alcoholic cage the devil!
My fiance of three years left me for a stripper this summer because she would drink with him when I wouldn't. He has since broken up with her because he realized how his addiction ruined his life, namely because he no longer has me. Now he wants to beat his alcoholism and straighten out his life. Alcoholics Anonymous has not been helpful because the chapters he has visited are full of people who drink before and after meetings, plus they brag about the bad things they do when in an alcoholic state.
Although there is no rebuilding our relationship now that I have found a more wonderful man who treats me with love and respect, I do want to be helpful to my ex as he has nobody else left on his side. What things work(ed) for you?

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 11/1/2004 5:18 PM (GMT -6)   

I have a friend who is 74, has not had a drink for 30 years. He has a great network of friends that he sees all the time. They do things together, go on trips, restaurants, coffee shops, and have a generally great time while NOT DRINKING.

I like the odd dram of booze myself, and I don't have the fun in life that he has. Don't give up on AA. Get him to change groups. He must really want to quit. they can help.


Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 11/5/2004 1:27 PM (GMT -6)   
It is a hard thing to stop - I know I watched my mum try countless times b4 she finally suceeded in stopping. She has been sober for over 3 years now.

Dont give up on AA too quickly - my mum did the very thing u were on about in the beginning too but it was thru AA tht she finally suceeded. She doesn't go to every meeting now but she goes along to the conventions.

Just let ur ex know tht u r there for him and tht u will support him and tht time doesn't matter (coz it can take time no matter how much u wanna give up)

Also just b aware there may be other things like depression which could b the underlying reason for his drinking coz u can do all u can to help him stop drinking but if u don't do something about the underlying problem then there is always a risk of him relapsing.

Toni xx
"I've woken now to find myself, In the shadows of all I have created, I'm longing to be lost in you, Wont you take me away from me." (evanescence "away from me")

"It rips your heart out and leaves you bleeding with a smile on your face." (HIM "and love said no")

"Happy hunting you double faced carnivore" (Nightwish "Romanticide"

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2004
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 11/8/2004 3:28 PM (GMT -6)   

Thank you for your reply, Julie. I'll take your advice very seriously as I respect your opinion. Anyone who'd "been there done that" should know a lot better than I.

:-) ~Dayzee

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 11/10/2004 12:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Julie, What does it make the person that uses it was your question. AN ALCOHOLIC. I've been there and I'm so glad to be sober.         Cin
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