Depression and a messy home

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warmfuzzies
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 10/28/2009 10:23 PM (GMT -7)   
  
  I am wondering if many depressed people have trouble keeping an orderly home. I am on Zoloft, and my mood is markedly improved, and I assumed this would give me the incentive to begin straightening up a VERY MESSY home. I do small projects here and there, but no huge progress.
 
  I seriously think it would take me 6-9 months of diligent work to really get it done. It seems like a vicious circle that the depression makes it hard to want to clean, and the messy home adds to the depression.
 
  What do others feel on this subject?
 
  Warm Fuzzies  
 

ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/28/2009 10:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Warm Fuzzies,

Have you ever visited the FlyLady forum? She has a section for people who are dealing with various illnesses and disabilities, and I seem to remember that there are a few posts there by people who are dealing with depression. You might be able to find some good tips and strategies there.

Let me know if not, and I'll give you the URL.

btw, please don't feel too bad about yourself. Housework is hard with most chronic illnesses, and yes, I agree that the mess only makes us feel worse.

Ivy, feeling as if things are out of control at home herself.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~


Learning2fly
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 10/28/2009 11:50 PM (GMT -7)   
smhair   My house is an absolute disaster area. There are clothes all over the place that need washed, ones that need put away, vacuuming needs to be done in every room, as well as dusting. When I started coming up this week, the condition of the house was the first thing I noticed. Then I got really overwhelmed for a minute. Then I took a step back and had a really deep breath. This did not happen overnight and it won't get any better overnight. I got some boxes together and labeled them for other rooms of the house. I started in this room. Anything that didn't belong here gets put into the box for where it does belong. I shredded tons of papers. If I can get one room done every 2 weeks, I think I'll be doing pretty good.
 
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. And that's the way I'm trying to go about this. I know it will take me months. I just hope I can stay up and get it done. I'll have to go look for that article you mentioned. Maybe it can offer me some more assistance. This surprises people who knew me from before when I was in a constant hypomanic state. You could have eaten off of any surface in the house. Now I don't even want to rat on the table. LOL.  
VIEW IMAGE
 
Major depression; Bipolar Disorder; Fibromyalgia; Spinal Stenosis; right arm and leg nerve compression; cataracts; glaucoma; IBS; RLS; hypothyroidism; B12 deficiency ... that's enough or I'll get more depressed.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/29/2009 6:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Warm Fuzzies,
Hi there, this is Kitt. I have had depression many years and worked full time plus raised 4 children so it was often hard to find the energy to keep up with all of the house chores.

I tried to make a schedule and keep to it even if I had to force myself to do it. I would try to clean just one room a day instead of doing the whole house in a day. I also taught my children how to take care of their rooms, fold clothes from the laundry and always do the dishes although listening to them fight at times was not easy.

Try not to be to hard on yourself if you do not get everything done that you had hoped to each day. Also set small goals as they are much easier to achieve. Now days I have my hubby's "do honey list" and he cooperates most of the time.

Take care and know you are not alone.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 10/29/2009 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi WarmFuzzies,

Try not to be too hard on yourself. do a little at a time. As you feel. Sometimes the stress of getting it done quickly is worse than the stress of looking at it. I have the same problem, kind of learned to live with it.

There is a saying something like this. "If you come to see me, come on in. If you come to see my house, make an appointment." Most people don't worry about what your house looks like. And as you start feeling better, you will get it under control. One day at a time, my friend.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Hamster_01
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 10/29/2009 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Take 20 minutes everyday for a week and focus on one room in your house only. Even if it's 10 minutes, you'll feel accomplished!! And, celebrate the work you did - Post it here and we'll congratulate you! I know for me it means alot if I can call my bestfriend, tell her what I accomplished, even if it's so small, she makes a BIG DEAL of it.

Putting stress and pressure on yourself isn't good and it doesn't help you get things done around the house. Go slowly and just know that you can do this!

ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/29/2009 2:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Another strategy that helps me when I am at my worst is to think, "if someone came to visit right now, what would embarrass me the most?" and then fix that one thing.

That helps the stress levels considerably, and I then feel more comfortable about sitting and resting.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/29/2009 2:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh! You might also be struggling because you're overwhelmed by how much needs to be done.

You might find it helpful to redefine your goals for the time being, and not think about getting the house clean. Sometimes the best we can do is not let things get much worse.

When I am at my worst, I sometimes set myself the small goal of putting away a couple of things whenever I get up to use the toilet or make a cup of tea. Don't even set yourself a target: if you can only put away one thing, that's fine; if you can do ten, that's fine too. I'm always surprised how those small acts of tidying mount up over a day, and usually things look a lot tidier by evening.

You can do the same thing with cleaning: if you get up to use the toilet, you might be able to take an extra two minutes to clean the bathroom sink before you go back to bed... then next time, you might be able to quickly sweep a floor or dust a shelf or put on a load of washing or whatever. Once again, you really will be surprised at what a difference this makes.

Remember, the trick is not to let these random little acts of cleaning and tidying become a chore, or become mandatory. If you do that, you'll become overwhelmed and then stop. Just do as much as you feel you can, and be patient and gentle with yourself.

Remember, the mess is not a reflection on you; it's a perfectly understandable indication of how sick you've been. You're still convalescing, and I think you're allowed to keep being gentle on yourself while you heal :-).

Ivy.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 10/29/2009 8:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I really love these ideas and I copied them for myself. I am the worst housekeeper that ever lived. And when I am depressed, it comes harder. Thanks you guys for your ideas. They are helping me too.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 10/30/2009 2:10 AM (GMT -7)   

I am the queen bee of mess. My space reflects the chaos in my life, holding it all together bit by bit, almost at the end of my rope- stretched too thin. The thing is, I hate the mess but even after a massive week long overhaul, I revert to my bad habits and the place is trashed again. I like order, I just dont know how to maintain it. Its all I can do to work full time and balance sickness and poor health without making and keeping a tidy environment for myself.

GRRRR so frustrating!

Maz XX



 Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
" Why does society view illness as weakness?" (Montell Jordan)
 'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
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