I need sleep!!!!!!!!

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 840
   Posted 11/1/2009 2:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi All.  Its been at least a week since I have slept more than an hour or two at a stretch.  I am once again up and alone.  And I feel like that picture we often see of a depressed person bent over holding his/her head in her hands.  My depression hurts so badly and I feel like my stress/anxiety is eating through my insides.  Yes I am on meds, and yes I know I sound like a little kid whining right now, but I truly do not feel good. 
I wish something would give in my life right now.  To begin with I so badly need a job--maybe that would actually help stop the foreclosure on my house which will be coming very soon.  Second, it would help with the other things going wrong in my life right now that I am unable to share on the internet.
I know that I am not alone here in my impossible quest to find a job, but I have spent so much time, money and effort to get both my undergraduate and graduate degrees.  And they are totally useless in this economy.  I am more than willing and able to work and I am so tired and frustrated about being turned away.  And just for once I would love to be able to tell my daughters, "sure, honey I can buy this for you today...don't worry."
GGGGGGRRRRR.  If there are any others not able to find a job right now I'd love to hear from you.  My own self-esteem is totally shot and I'd like to know how you all are handling it.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18554
   Posted 11/1/2009 5:34 AM (GMT -6)   
cass, i am on a disability pension and have not been employed since 2001. i am sure i will face some big hurdles alike yourself. remember this, beleive in you, beleive in your experiences and expertize. something will turn up. i was once unemployed when i was employable for 15 months. i would use the ploy of cut through, finding a way of them going yeah and making them take interest in you. it is hard, albeit if you keep beleiving in you then you are half way there. ps highlight to them other key elements that will show that you can be of use to them in other areas. very important to show this, and i would do so via highlighting this in terms of multi-skilling abilties and attributes that would be of benefit to them. good luck. jamie.
return to your doc soon. this level without sleep is getting a tad dangerous. i hope you sleep soon. healings to you.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40391
   Posted 11/1/2009 11:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Cass,

Are you taking anything for sleep, if you are what is it? I take ambien and it helps. If I don't have that, I take melatonin. That works good for me too. But I get a more restful sleep from the ambien. Also I meditate if I have a lot on my mind and can't sleep. That helps too.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I hope that you find a job soon. It took me a while this spring to find my job. It isn't anything really great, though I enjoy it. I work in a convenience store/gas station. But I love it. It is fun. Sometimes we have to settle for something less than we are qualified for, just to get by. But I was at the stage that I would take what I could get. And it is only a couple blocks from home, so that is nice.

I really and truly hope that you feel better soon. I am sorry that things are so hard for you right now. Know that we are all thinking of you and saying prayers.

Best wishes Cass,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2268
   Posted 11/1/2009 3:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Cass,
Well, you know that I am unhappily looking for regular work as well. My PCP upped my dose of the Synthroid & that has helped me feel a bunch better & finally get some sleep.

But there so many sleeping medicines out there. I think maybe you should see some kind of doctor about getting something, at least for the short term. There are hypnotics (like Ambien or Lunesta), anti-anxiety meds (like Valium), anti-psychotics (like Seroquel), anticonvulsants (like Lyrica or Neurontin) and antihistimines (like Benadryl). Depending on what you tolerate & what may be contributing to your sleeplessness, doctors can write for any of these meds so just because you don't tolerate a few of them doesn't mean there aren't options.

If you don't want to go the drug route, my personal favorite is acupuncture. I know it has really helped me in the past. It does take a couple of sessions to work, but often it is covered by insurance & it's all natural. They can also sometimes help lower stress & other problems with acupuncture. Massage, hypotherapy, meditation & yoga can also help, though usually those aren't covered by insurance & I know money's tight for you right now (as it is for me).

There is also lots of information out there about "sleep hygiene". Here's one link: http://www.sleepeducation.com/Hygiene.aspx
Mostly those things don't really help me, but I know a lot of people are helped by them.

As for being unemployed, I would say try to find something to get up for every day -- even if it's only an hour or two of volunteer work in the morning followed by 4-5 hours of job hunting. In most states, you can still qualify for partial unemployment even if you are working a few hours a week (provided you would otherwise qualify for unemployment benefits). In my state, you can even manage to get a bit more money for yourself by doing this. There are a decent number of part-time temporary jobs (esp. with the holidays coming up) where you could at least have a little bit to do.

I know it totally sucks not having a job. It just ruins everything else. I think the only thing worse is not having anything meaningful at all to do with your time. I don't know what options are available to you in your area, but maybe you would consider checking out the AmeriCorps site. They will even give volunteers money for university classes at the end of a period of service in some cases. Their site is: http://www.americorps.gov/

I sure wish I could do more. I feel so badly for you. I definitely think you need to start with getting sleep. Not sleeping makes everything else a million times worse. Once you get some sleep, maybe there are some other things you can do to start to feel a little bit better. I totally get that nothing would feel as good as landing a job & getting back on solid financial ground, but maybe there are some "compromise" options we can both find to help us survive until we can find real work.

Hang in there!

PS -- I know I'm not a mom -- yet. But honestly there's only one toy I even remember getting as a child. It is the time you spend with your children that matters in the long run. I'm sure it's hard when they are begging for something & you wish you could afford it, but try to hold on to the fact that the best things in life really are free -- spending time with them, telling them how much you love them, taking them to volunteer at a soup kitchen/food pantry so they can see just how blessed they really are, working on a small craft project with them [my favorite growing up was making pine cone bird feeders -- we got the pine cones from our back yard, spread them with peanut butter & would split a bag of birdseed with several neighbors -- after we finished, we would check out a book from the library about birds & would try to identify the ones that came to our feeders -- honestly, I don't think we ever got any of them except maybe the robins & cardinals correctly identified, but it was fun!], making snow angels, etc.
Keep reminding yourself that you are a WONDERFUL mom. It's so easy to get caught up in wanting things, but in the end your girls will remember you & how much you cared for them much more than they will ever remember how many presents you bought them. :) (((((hugs)))))

Post Edited (Frances_2008) : 11/1/2009 1:16:39 PM (GMT-7)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 11/1/2009 8:21 PM (GMT -6)   
((((BIG HUGS))))) to you Cass, and lots of love! If only we could all consolidate and move in together...we'd all save what money we have left. Get the government to build us a huge Healingwell home and we could all take care of each other...wouldn't it be nice! I wish we didn't have so many miles in between us all, I'd come give you real hugs right now!

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05, Bilateral pulmonary emboli 10/09
Currently on Humira, Omeprazole, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12, Coumadin

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/1/2009 9:28 PM (GMT -6)   

I love that bird feeder idea. I'm going to try that with my daughter!

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 11/2/2009 1:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Cass,

I'm sorry you are struggling with the job market right now. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep a few weeks ago and I just wanted to say I know how it feels to be tired all the time. It really does make everything 100 times worse. Now I can get to sleep easier, but I wake up early in the morning very panicked about my stressful life situations. But with the sleep I'm getting, I know I can at least get through the day. Try to relax and practice blind faith that things will work out and you'll be OK.

Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it. -Tori Amos

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