New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

where to live
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 0
   Posted 11/5/2009 12:33 AM (GMT -7)   
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

Post Edited (tf777f) : 3/28/2012 9:11:52 PM (GMT-6)


damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 11/5/2009 2:42 AM (GMT -7)   
cool  hello tf777f,
 
I just read ur post and you sound like a very confused young girl?? I can understand what your trying to say. It's like one part of you wants to do the right thing by your family and also your boyfriend. But do you think that maybe your putting to much pressure on ur self with regard's to your boyfrien's "needs". If he truly loves you,he will wait until you are
truly ready.Please dont make the mistake of going to that point with him,when I believe your only going to do it because he want's to??
Can you talk to him and explaine how it's affecting you and how your feeling depressed and cant cope very well. None of this is your fault,i just think your being pressured into something you aren't ready to do yet!!!! I hope this help's you a little. Also do you have a good councellor at ur college,if you do please dont hesitate to talk to him/her ok. You need to get some of this off ur chest.
 
best wishes,
 
beverley.
 
P.S. Let us know how ur going........ blush smurf blush smurf smurf
diagnosed with C in 2001.
colorectal anastamosis 2001.
surgery went horribly wrong,swab left inside,emergency surgery 2001.
total colectomy & ileostomy 2001.
surgical complication's-abcess,more surgery 2001.
more complication's-stitches come apart inside and ended up having more surgery and blood transfusion. 2001.
infection at lap site,another abcess. 2001.
i spent 12mths in Cabrini Private Hospital in Melbourne.
1993 diagnosed with endometriosis,then age 27yrs had radical hysterectomy then 2 mths later lost both ovaries.
2005. bi-lateral mastectomy,heart attack on the table,also contracted MRSA in coronary care unit,had staph for about 12mths. pic line for 6 mths for venus access,for daily antibiotics.
march 2009. op on a parastomal hernia & re-fashioning of stoma. Then complications,huge abcess in small bowel & peritinitus,emergency laparotomy to remove,icu for 5 day's. I think that's enough, no more.
Am taking AVANZA for my depression & ocd!!!!!!!!!!!


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 11/5/2009 5:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there tf777f,
 
I notice that you are wanting to please your family and your boyfriend too.  But what do YOU want?  This is about you, not what everybody else wants.  So think long and hard what it is YOU want to do.
 
I agree with Beverly, check out school counseling.  They can be very helpful.  And like she says, this boy will wait for you if he loves you and respects your wishes.  Though sex is a lot more open than it use to be.  There are some of us who have values and do want to wait.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  Sex is very intimate to most of us, and if it is important for you to wait, than that is what you should do.
 
But please think of you, not what others want.  Make the decision for yourself, not just to please your boyfriend or your parents.  Check out the counseling.  I think that will really help you to put this into perspective.
 
I wish you well, keep posting as we are here for you.  And of course, I forgot, WELCOME!!!
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
   Posted 11/5/2009 8:47 AM (GMT -7)   
if he leaves you because you wont sleep with him then he didnt love you in the first place. alot of boys will say anything to get what they want but the one who really loves  you will back that up. dont compromise your beliefs to please anyone. you need to make you happy.
tf777f said...
Dear Beverly and Karen,

Thanks so much for your respond.
Well, i will talk to him today to see what the result is. The point is i don't want to lose him but i guess i shoudl talk to him. may be after speaking with him, i will feel better.


i keep you posted
thanks
tf777f

The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are


ashhlovesjase
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 11/5/2009 10:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Confused,
This situation can be quite tricky. But it all boils down to you and how YOU feel. Do you feel that the "right" thing to do is to make your parents happy and wait until marriage, or do you feel the right thing could be to fulfill your boyfriends' needs? In most cases, neither of these is the "right" thing to do. I guess it all depends on you. Only you can make decisions for yourself, and only you will live with the decision you have made. All in all, you need to try not to stress yourself out too much over this, and if you feel that aren't in fact truly ready for sexual intercourse, then explain it to him the best way you know how.
There is no wrong way, when it comes to your feelings, sweetheart. If he truly loves you, then he will understand no matter what, and he will not let you feel pressured or bothered by it again.
I know a lot of times, when people say "if he truly loves you, then he will wait for you", can seem bit far-fetched from the truth as we all know it, however it is VERY true. We sometimes tend to blind ourselves by the feelings we build for others, and a lot of times that is where "not wanting to face the truth" comes into play. You have to focus on what is best for you, and what your heart tells you. In the end, that will be the ultimate factor in your happiness.
Best of luck to you, hun!
May you make the best decision. :)

damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 11/5/2009 2:50 PM (GMT -7)   
hi Confused,
 
I was just having a look at the other posts and i agree with all of them to. Please talk to him about it all and let hime know that he cannot force you into anything you dont want to do. If i were you and had your beleifs Ie-: no intercourse before marriage and other. You have to let this guy know ok otherwise things could get heated with him,as young guy's dont like to be knocked back when it come to intimacy.But to cut my long story short. Darling save yourself for that really special person in ur life and you will know when this happens. And i agree that boy's mostly just want to get youg girls into bed to soon!!!!! Please talk to him/councellor at ur college and maybe try and talk to your mom??
You can only try and if it doesn't work then try another plan of action.
 
take care confusedgirl,
 
beverley. cool blush cool blush
diagnosed with C in 2001.
colorectal anastamosis 2001.
surgery went horribly wrong,swab left inside,emergency surgery 2001.
total colectomy & ileostomy 2001.
surgical complication's-abcess,more surgery 2001.
more complication's-stitches come apart inside and ended up having more surgery and blood transfusion. 2001.
infection at lap site,another abcess. 2001.
i spent 12mths in Cabrini Private Hospital in Melbourne.
1993 diagnosed with endometriosis,then age 27yrs had radical hysterectomy then 2 mths later lost both ovaries.
2005. bi-lateral mastectomy,heart attack on the table,also contracted MRSA in coronary care unit,had staph for about 12mths. pic line for 6 mths for venus access,for daily antibiotics.
march 2009. op on a parastomal hernia & re-fashioning of stoma. Then complications,huge abcess in small bowel & peritinitus,emergency laparotomy to remove,icu for 5 day's. I think that's enough, no more.
Am taking AVANZA for my depression & ocd!!!!!!!!!!!


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 11/9/2009 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
tf777f,

You will know soon enough. Hopefully he will respect your wishes. I am proud of you for waiting. I know that it is hard, but you are being safe and that is important.  Plus sticking to your values. 

Hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 11/9/2009 3:36 PM (GMT -7)   
hi confused,
i would like to say GOOD 4 YOU!!!! I am proud that you had the courage to talk to him. I hope he is understanding of ur wishes to wait until,well you know!! Hope thing's improve imensly for you. Keep talking ok.
 
best wishes,
 
beverley. blush blush blush
diagnosed with C in 2001.
colorectal anastamosis 2001.
surgery went horribly wrong,swab left inside,emergency surgery 2001.
total colectomy & ileostomy 2001.
surgical complication's-abcess,more surgery 2001.
more complication's-stitches come apart inside and ended up having more surgery and blood transfusion. 2001.
infection at lap site,another abcess. 2001.
i spent 12mths in Cabrini Private Hospital in Melbourne.
1993 diagnosed with endometriosis,then age 27yrs had radical hysterectomy then 2 mths later lost both ovaries.
2005. bi-lateral mastectomy,heart attack on the table,also contracted MRSA in coronary care unit,had staph for about 12mths. pic line for 6 mths for venus access,for daily antibiotics.
march 2009. op on a parastomal hernia & re-fashioning of stoma. Then complications,huge abcess in small bowel & peritinitus,emergency laparotomy to remove,icu for 5 day's. I think that's enough, no more.
Am taking AVANZA for my depression & ocd!!!!!!!!!!!


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 11/10/2009 4:01 AM (GMT -7)   
very mature of you. well done. this is important to you, you have kept true to you. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 5:39 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,454 posts in 301,021 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151186 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, debbixij.
218 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Psilociraptor, maria2016, ks1905, ljimd


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer