Depressed and Anxious for No Reason

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rainbowchelle
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/7/2009 3:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone. This is my first time posting here, but I've read through a couple posts and it's great to see the kind and caring words you're sharing :)

Where to begin. Well. Depression runs in my family. Every female on my mother's side of the family has it. I thought that it was normal to be emotional, angry, sad, etc in high school. Just puberty, just hormones. Well now I'm 19 and I am getting worse. I went to see a psychiatrist a few months ago who did diagnose me with depression and put me on an antidepressant. It turned my emotions off. I hated how it made me feel, so I stopped taking it. I don't have health insurance so now I can't go to see a doctor until I get a new job that can offer it. I've tried everything under the sun and just can't seem to feel normal.

There's nothing terribly wrong with my life...I have a lot of debt but I know that I can pay it all off. My relationship with my parents in strained, but who has a perfect relationship with their parents? I have a great boyfriend, a decent job, a car, a roof over my head...I wish that I could just cheer the heck up already. But I cry at the drop of a hat. I'm always feeling sad and hopeless. My anxiety keeps me from being around people or going to work. I'm afraid that I'm going to lose my job because I keep calling in. I feel like an awful person who keeps making stupid mistakes and continues to fail. I am unsuccessful. I hate myself.

I've tried exercise, changing my eating patterns, talking to friends, but nothing helps. No matter how much I exercise, I still hate my body. I feel bad talking to people about my emotions because I feel like I don't have a real reason to complain, even though this depression is taking over my mind and making me hate the person that I have become. I contemplate  on a weekly basis because I'm just not sure that I can take this feeling anymore.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? So sad and hopeless even though there's no one reason for it? I feel like I'm whining about nothing because there's nothing that bad going on in my life. I just feel so weak and alone. It would be nice to know if there are other people out there who feel like this.

Thank you for any responses.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/8/2009 9:02:16 AM (GMT-7)


mamalicious
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 11/7/2009 9:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Depression is sneaky. Even if you don't have a situation in your life that is making you depressed, that doesn't make you immune to those feelings. There isn't anything wrong with your life- but there could be an imbalance in your brain. That's why you need to try to find a psychiatrist to help Dx and Rx you and a therapist to help you keep things in perspective.

Your meds shouldn't make you feel bad they should make you feel balanced. Maybe you haven't tried the right thing?

I am another person like this. I have lots of things to be happy about. I have a caring husband who works hard to support me mentally, two wondeful children, and a job that I love. I can't motivate myself to do the things that normally cause me to feel fulfilled. I love to be productive at work and at home. All I can do is sit. Or sleep. Or cry. Or hide.

I am thinking me Lexapro has quit working on me. I see my psychiatrist again on Friday. Something has to happen because I can't feel the way I'm feeling right now for much longer.



I'm here to listen,
Holly
 
 
 
Holly- GAD, Migraines, TMJ disorder, Thyroid Disease
75 mg Effexor XR, 1mg Xanax PRN, Maxalt, Phenegran, Levothyroxine
 
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 11/8/2009 9:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Rainbow,
 
Welcome to the HealingWell depression forum.  I had to remove one word from your post.  We are not allowed to discuss suicide.  I am sorry about that.  But I have to follow the rules. 
 
Please don't think your problems are any less important than the next persons.  With depression, it always magnifies things that are bad.  So this is normal for depression. 
 
I just want you to know you are a very worthy person and a good person.  You are just suffering with depression and it makes us feel like a lesser person.  But you aren't.  You are wonderful, kind and compassionate.  I can tell from your post.  So try to tell yourself good things every day.
 
I hope that you start feeling better soon.  Sorry this is short, but I have to get ready for work now.  I will write more to you later.
 
Have a wonderful day my friend.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/8/2009 2:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi rainbowchelle,

Welcome to the depression forum. It's good to have you.

You know, most areas have a mental health clinic which treat patients without insurance on a sliding scale. This is a good way to see a psychiatrist and/or a therapist at a reasonable price. Look around and see if you can find one nearby, because it really sounds like you could use some help, and you owe it to yourself. Mamlicious is right, the meds shouldn't take your emotions away, they should just balance you out. So if that's how you felt, you weren't on the right med. Sometimes it takes a while to find what works. Don't give up.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


rainbowchelle
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/8/2009 4:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Holly,
Thank you for sharing. It's good to know that I'm not alone :) That's interesting that you mentioned Lexapro - that's what I had been prescribed as well. I hope that your appointment on Friday goes well and they can find something that works better for you.

Karen,
Thank you so much for your kind words :) I'm sorry for bringing that up in my post - I should have paid more attention to posting rules.

Serafena,
Thank you for that suggestion, I will definitely try to find something like that in my area.

privey
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 453
   Posted 11/8/2009 5:58 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm taking Effexor 75mg 3x's per day and I think I'm feeling better. I have chronic pain in the lower back and had a surgery this summer that left me with an ileostomy. Unfortunately my PCP didn't realize that we folks with ileostomies don't absorb medication that is XR so I've been on the Effexor XR and flushing it down the toilet for months. He finally changed me to the same med but it wasn't XR and I'm feeling better. It is a crazy world out there huh?
Cathy

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 11/8/2009 11:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Rainbow,

I am so happy that you are continuing to post. Keep us up on how everything is going. Know that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18770
   Posted 11/10/2009 3:08 AM (GMT -7)   
rainbow keep strong. remember alike any other medical condition depression is as well. yeah depression sucks, keep talking with your doc-many diverse treatments and therapies out there. here 4 you. take care of you. jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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