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Welsh_Dragon
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 11/5/2004 11:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi

I'm back at last. My major prob at the minute is paranoia. I am so scared tht ppl r after me tht I am finding it really hard to leave the house in the fear of them finding me.

I have had this once b4 but it is worse this time (even scared in broad daylight) as i only felt threatened at night b4.

The more I try & understand it the more confused i am becoming and it wont b long til i cant tell between fantasy & reality

Help

Toni xx

"I've woken now to find myself, In the shadows of all I have created, I'm longing to be lost in you, Wont you take me away from me." (evanescence "away from me")

"It rips your heart out and leaves you bleeding with a smile on your face." (HIM "and love said no")

"Happy hunting you double faced carnivore" (Nightwish "Romanticide")
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snohare
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2088
   Posted 11/6/2004 6:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I really feel for you, Welsh Dragon. I used to have these awful dreams where people were after me and I'd wake up sweating and think, "Whew ! What a nightmare !" Not to be able to wake up is dire.
 
Can't give you any details on medical treatment really, but I can give you some background info on paranoia that might hopefully help you get a handle on the problem.
 
Paranoia is second only to depression and anxiety in frequency as an emotional dysfunction, and is often suffered as a result of prolonged intense physical or emotional stress. Soldiers on exercise, mountain climbers, solo sailors, people who have had pneumonia or surgery, anyone who is suffering from sleep deprivation or starvation...all are prime candidates for it. Not to mention students studying for final exams, workers with harsh bosses, immigrants experiencing culture shock, and people coping with bereavement, family feuds, divorce, etc.
So you're not alone with this problem ! nono   But you can imagine, a lot of people are not going to talk about it. yeah Personally I get it when depressed, and sometimes as a side-effect of medication, and find it horrible.
Paranoid ideation as a symptom can be thought of as an exaggerrated version of a mental response that we all have built into us for those (hopefully) rare times that we need to cope with a particularly hostile world. I don't want to make light of your problem, but as the old joke says, if you're feeling paranoid, it doesn't mean the world isn't out to get you; what it quite possibly means is that the world doesn't seem to give a darn about you and with no break in sight, your brain has finally switched onto "This much bad luck isn't natural, I need to feel really worried here" mode.
I think paranoia may occur more often in men, and in people who have fewer stable emotional relationships, but I wouldn't like to swear to it; it's quite a while since I read up on it.
I do know that there is a theory that like many emotional disorders it may be caused by a variety of pathogens (bacteria, viruses, parasites) and may be treated with drugs such as Amantadine (UK name), as well as anti-depressants. In the US it was treated once upon a time by injections of B Complex vitamins into the muscle, as it was known that these vitamins were severely depleted by any form of stress and were considered closely related to whatever mechanism is involved in the brain.
Sorry, I cannot give you any more detailed facts or figures about therapies, the only other suggestion I can give you is to try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which may teach you techniques that help you understand how your mind is working, where you might be jumping to conclusions, etc.
Hope this helps, best of luck !

Welsh_Dragon
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 11/7/2004 5:02 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanx for replying

Well I've suffered from depression for about 4 years and have been on various meds for it but it got worse about a year ago with the sudden and unexpected death of my 17yo b/f (I'm 21) and I had to cope with his funeral on my 21st birthday.

It was after this tht i started to hear voices, self harm and thts also when the paranoia started.  I am currently not on any meds coz I ended up in hospital back in August with a possible reaction to my anti-psychotic (resperidone) so they took me off all my meds and I have been a bit wary of starting them up again.

With the return of the paranoia I am however swithering about going back to the docs about it b4 I get to the dreaded point of no return.

Toni xx


"I've woken now to find myself, In the shadows of all I have created, I'm longing to be lost in you, Wont you take me away from me." (evanescence "away from me")

"It rips your heart out and leaves you bleeding with a smile on your face." (HIM "and love said no")

"Happy hunting you double faced carnivore" (Nightwish "Romanticide"


snohare
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2088
   Posted 11/9/2004 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   

Yeah, grief will do it every time. sad Until you've experienced it first hand, I don't think you can really appreciate why people's hair can turn white overnight when they are bereaved.

I know what you mean about being wary of starting up again on the meds. I'm on Prozac, which to my mind is a little bit like riding a tiger - I know it has changed my personality, I know it's implicated in people going out and murdering their families, etc - but at the same time I know it works for me. The question always is, where does your balance of fears leave you ? I'd be terrified of life without medication, but I'm scared of the potential side-effects. The only advice I can give you is, try all the options available to you. (Prozac was my last option.  yeah ) I mean, how much worse can the drugs make you ?

I suppose the good news for you is that despite all the yucky side-effects anti-psychotics can have (I'm thinking of a friend on Lithium here), at least they don't have the same history of turning people into homicidal maniacs that the newer, "improved" SSRI drugs like Seroxat and Prozac have.

Gee whizz, I'm reading this and thinking, "this is good news ?"  eyes  Well, here's hoping the only way is up... 

Keep in touch, hang in there. 


Welsh_Dragon
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 11/10/2004 12:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I am going back to docs on friday so we'll c how it goes.

When i was on the meds I wasn't me - I was a zombie it would take me about 10 secs to register tht sum1 was tlking to me and actually reply to them and there is no way i wanna be like tht again.

Ah well i'll just have to wait til friday

Toni xx
"I've woken now to find myself, In the shadows of all I have created, I'm longing to be lost in you, Wont you take me away from me." (evanescence "away from me")

"It rips your heart out and leaves you bleeding with a smile on your face." (HIM "and love said no")

"Happy hunting you double faced carnivore" (Nightwish "Romanticide"


snohare
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 2088
   Posted 11/10/2004 5:54 PM (GMT -7)   

Yeah, I know what you mean about being zombified - I've been pretty close to that bad myself, just with anti-depressants.

I often wonder if really severe side-effects aren't just Mother Nature's way of telling you you're on the wrong medication ! yeah  God knows, enough people get misdiagnosed/mismedicated. 

And of course it's worth asking whether the original meds were what gave you the tendency to hear voices in the first place - I believe there's a syndrome where that can happen due to medication. (One of the newer anti-malarial drugs is notorious for it.)

Right now I'm lucky - my meds are making me sleep the clock round, I'm generally only awake for a few hours a day - incredibly inconvenient, everything gets squashed into the tiny little bits of frantic activity when I'm able to do things - but at least I'm fairly clear-headed some of the time...illness is a monster that always seem to take great bites out of your life. eyes

Well, it beats cancer anyway.

Best of luck on Friday ! yeah

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