I need some support

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/9/2009 8:43 PM (GMT -6)   
My boyfriend & I decided to have a baby after going through our financials, etc.  All was well.  My son was born (who is fantastic!), however, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me when my son was 5 mths old.  Of course he said it was my fault b/c I was so stressed (I was taking care of my son, myself, my boyfriend, finances, all housework, etc.) while he went out w/friends all the time.  I stressed to him the importance of honesty.  Needless to say, I kicked him out.  I am so unbelievably sad, angry, alone, absolutely miserable!  I wanted a family for my son.  Two parents for him to wake up in the middle of the night if he had a nightmare, 2 parents xmas morning.  I know I made the right decision, that my son needs a better role model than someone who is dishonest....but I can't stop crying & nothing makes me happy except for my son.  And go figure, when we looked at the finances, it only work w/both of us contributing...and now I am faced w/the option of short saling my home or claiming bunkruptcy.  Everything has just fallen apart on me. This is our sons first Christmas...and not what I wanted for him.  I don't want to go on meds b/c I hear so many negative things..like they can increase the urge to commit suicide...not a route I like.  I just don't know what to do to get out of being depressed, feeling alone, or angry.  I feel like for all that I have done to help others, I ended up w/the short end of the stick.  Any suggestions?  Yes, even meds that do not have the side effect of increasing suicidal urges (no, I do not consider that an option)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 11/9/2009 9:45 PM (GMT -6)   
HUGE HUGS, you are going through so much right now.

Have you made the call to a councelor or therapist yet.. your doctor if you have a FP or your OBGYN if not? Even if you do not want medications, they can help you find resources for someone to talk to. Having a baby is so hard WITH a supportive and present spouse. I can't imagine doing it solo but it can be done and you can be proud of taking up for yourself.

Get an appointment with someone quickly. Tomorrow morning, make the phone calls. You don't have to lay it out there on the receptionist. Just say that you are calling to get in for an appointment. (I hate making that call because I hate crying and if someone asks me what is wrong, I will cry).

Biofeedback is something I am going to start researching asap. It is not a chemical, but a machine that balances your brain waves (mine are all wonky).

Just take a deep breath. Come back when you need to talk.
Holly- GAD, Migraines, TMJ disorder, Thyroid Disease
20mg Lexapro, 1mg Xanax PRN, Maxalt, Phenegran, Levothyroxine

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40388
   Posted 11/9/2009 10:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I take medications and they don't make me want to commit suicide. Not all people go through that. But if you don't want to go the medication route, there are many other things that you can do to feel better. You can go with herbals, exercise, therapy or meditation. Get a book on one of the subjects and see what you can learn. You need to be proactive right now. You are looking out for a little one.

It seems as though you needed to take in to account that you wouldn't be financially set without your boyfriend's income. But the bridge has already been crossed, so you have to decide what to do now. With counseling, you would have an idea of what route to take. I think that is something that you should think about.

There are many good depression books that would help you. So reading would be another way to go. There are a couple of on line sites that you might be interested in too.



Check these places out and see if that helps you some.

I hope that you are feeling better soon. Your son will still be happy and feel safe with you. You are a wonderful person worthy of happiness.

Best wishes
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 11/9/2009 11:32 PM (GMT -6)   


           First of..........BREATHE.....................Ok now I totallly agree with Holly and Karen, you

need to call you OB/GYN and tell him/her what you are feeling.  You have alot on your plate right now.

 Don't worry about christmas at this age he wont even know it's christmas.  Are you spending christmas with family?? 



          Total Coletomy Feb. 07
            Total Hysterectomy Oct 08  
           Synthroid, Cymbalta 60mg,  Prilosec OTC

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