Is this Depression?

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/12/2009 10:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone

I am new to this site. Came across this site while searching for information about depression amongst women - symptoms etc.

Mental health is not given much importance in my part of the world - a social stigma is attached to it and therefore nobody speaks openly about it. Seeking a psychiatric help is a taboo! I am glad that this forum exists so that I can get more information about depression.

I am a young professional and this is about my mother. From as long as I remember she has been unhappy with life. She complains about everyone and everything and has a very negative attitude towards life. But the way I see it - she has everything going right for her. She was never happy. She was suspicioius. She argues and blames!

But she is not happy with us either. Always nagging us, criticising us for no reason. She really battered our self esteem over the years. My father tried his best to bring up his daughters to be independent women with self confidence. And my mother seemed to be undoing all his efforts!

Recently she has begun feeling that everyone is against her. She has fought with all the relatives and distanced them. She speaks ill of everyone (even her grandchildren aged 5 and 2! Imagine that!) and it's disgusting to even listen to her speak!

She refuses to listen to anyone and is very stubborn. All she does is find fault with others - there is no way to please her. 25 years of tolerating emotional abuse has taken its toll on me. I am the reason for all the pain and agony that the man I love the most has to undergo. That is a TERRIBLE feeling - trust me on that!

My society is not acceptable of divorces.

Now I wonder if it's Depression that's making her do this! She doesnt have any symptoms (sleeplessness, suicidal tendencies etc) that are usually attributed to the disease!

It would be great if anyone in similar situation can share some thoughts! Any suggestions on how to deal with her?

P.S: I have decided to meet a well-known psychiatrist in my city and get his help. My mother would never meet him cos she thinks only 'mad' people go to psychiatrists! So i ll have to do all the talking!

Edited per Rule #4.

Post Edited By Moderator (Frances_2008) : 11/12/2009 9:20:37 PM (GMT-7)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2268
   Posted 11/12/2009 11:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Starry,

I am sorry to hear that you are in so much turmoil right now. None of us are mental health professionals, so we are not able to make diagnoses. We are just here to support each other through our own journeys through life.

I would offer up that if your mother does have depression, she would need to be willing to participate in order for any treatment to be effective.

I would also suggest that since you are so torn up about all this & you say it is affecting your life & your own marriage, that perhaps you might consider seeking support for yourself. There are a lot of wonderful counselors out there who are very good at helping people learn to find peace & to move forward with their lives in spite of really awful experiences. Many of us have had rough relationships with our parents, but that does not have to continue to define us into adulthood.

If there is something we can do to support you, please let us know. Please keep in mind, though, that we are here to support each other. While describing in detail all the things that frustrate us about our loved ones can be very helpful and healing -- that is something that really needs to be done in a counseling setting as we are not set up on this Forum to manage that. If you have general questions about our experiences with depression you are welcome to ask as long as the questions are respectful of those who are suffering with this illness. One other resource you might consider is the "Depression Resources" topic at the top of the Depression Forum. It has a link to all sorts of information about depression.

wishing you much peace,

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/13/2009 12:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for editing the post Frances. I apologize for making this post too personal.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40402
   Posted 11/13/2009 11:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Starry eyed,

Welcome to the HealingWell depression forum. I am glad that you met Frances, she is such a wonderful person.

I hope that you can find support here, we all support eachother. That is what is so wonderful about this site.

I do agree with counseling for yourself. You endured many years of turmoil and maybe even abuse from your mother since she wasn't a very happy person.

Keep posting and know that we are here for you.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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