Destroying friendships because of depression

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/18/2009 11:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi all,

I am new on here, and new to the whole online forum things.

I have been suffering with depression on and off since i was 13 and i am nearly 23 now. Everytime i think i am getting better its like something grabs me and takes me back to this horrible black hole.

Over the year i have lost friends bacuse of my actions because of my depression, i say things to push them away, the most annoyoing thing is, i dont even know i am doing it. One of my friends who was so supportive and was really the only light i had in my life walked away from me because of something i had said. I had said something along the lines of she thought someone was shaddy, and after i said it i knew i shouldnt have, everything got blowen out of porpotion and we dont talk anymore. This seems to be a trend for me, when people get too close i do somthing or say something that pushes them away.

I dont really know what to do, now i realise this i want to make things right but i feel that they might think i am using my depression as an excuse and hiding behing it, that is so far from the truth it is unreal.

Also my one friend that i have now, i know she is getting bored of listening to me, she is getting a little snappy when i talk about stuff and i dont want to lose her, she is the only thing i have got in my life. I dont know how to tell people and explain my actions can anyone help?


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6389
   Posted 11/18/2009 11:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Bryan

Welcome to the healingwell forum, this really is a great forum and you will meet people here who can relate to what you are going through at the moment. Sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it at the moment, I have lost friends in the past due to similar things which you mentioned in your post. I have a couple of close friends who I can go and speak to and feel comfortable talking to them about what is going on with me, I
think that is important but they can not really relate to what im going through as they have not had to deal with mental illness which is why it is good to come here and talk with the members. Maybe you should make contact with your friend and try to work things out, I hope things start to improve for you soon and let us know how you get on.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40403
   Posted 11/18/2009 1:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Bryan,
Welcome to the HealingWell depression forum.  You aren't using depression as an excuse.  It is your excuse.  Depression causes us to do things and say things that we wouldn't normally say.  Try not to focus on it so much and try to just go with it.  When you have a bad day recognise it for what it is.  A bad day.  Try to find positive things in your life and not spend so much time worrying about how you feel.  I know that this sounds hard because we are so aware of it.  But focus on other things as the day goes by. 
You might want to make contact with your friend and explain that you were haveing a bad day and hopefully you two will get back on track.  Depression does not have us, we have depression.  Read some self help books.  That really helps.
Take care, keep posting.
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18564
   Posted 11/19/2009 3:12 AM (GMT -6)   
hi bryan, depression sucks, been with me all my life. i try to always utilise positives, ie i live with depression, and i manage it. these positive forms of cognition do help over time. depression is a mental illness and a medical condition. alike my diabetes i manage this, as with my depression. we all have good, bad and ugly days, with our depression, with my teeth at the moment!! and with anything else that is going on with our lives. supports are out there, alike GROW, here at the forum, etc. a technique that i use, not for everyone is that when i meet someone new, or am introduced and that a friendship is formimg i always tell people that i have depression. either they are suppoertive, which you can tell with some basic body language techniques, or if they will not be supportive, this is even quicker, the face to me is a book!! and because i am intriqued by the show lie to me. excellent stuff!! thx for posting, keep your chin up, here for you. jamie, male, 37.

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