This is stupid, but I'm mad and my feelings are hurt

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Becky77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 11/23/2009 7:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok, so my friends always get together once a month and have a party for birthdays for that month. This month, we got together and one of the girls (whose bday is also in November) asked if we could do a pre Thanksgiving kind of dinner. I said that would be fine.

We got together Saturday night...but no cake and no singing Happy Birthday. I'm disappointed. It's not the cake, nor being sung to, but more the fact that people didn't think enough to get us a cake for our birthdays. It kind of turned into a Thanksgiving dinner instead of a birthday dinner. I just feel like I put forth the same effort for each of my friends and some of them make effort for me and some don't, and that REALLY hurts my feelings.

Thanks for listening. I know this is petty, but it bothers me and I don't think it would do any good confronting any of them, so I figured I'd vent to you guys.
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05, Bilateral pulmonary emboli 10/09
Currently on Humira, Omeprazole, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12, Coumadin


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 11/23/2009 8:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I know Becky, I brought up our bosses birthday and everybody signed a card for her. She knew that my birthday was this month too, but nobody got a card for me. Though I havn't been to work since before my birthday, so there might be a card there, but I doubt it. But I try not to think about it. That way it doesn't bother me. And I do forget about things easily. So no harm done I guess. She is the boss, so maybe it was meant that way. But daugonnit, I have to work on Thanks giving day and one of those people better bring me a plate of food. I put in to work Christmas eve, and day. Newyears eve and day. So I thought that I would get Thanksgiving off. After volunteering all those days. But no, I have to work. Oh well, here this is your thread and I am venting on it. Sorry. I did that before today too.

Becky, I hope that things work out for you. Maybe you could have another party and celebrate your birthday. But I would let them know that you didn't appreciate getting cheated out of your birthday celebration. That way they wont over look it next time.

tAke care my friend.

Talk to youn again soon.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Becky77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 11/23/2009 8:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Karen. I appreciate just being able to vent to someone who isn't part of what bothered me.

It stinks that in life there are so many times when people are left out, or make efforts for those around them that aren't reciprocated. Sometimes it just's a "why not me?" moment. I'll probably get over it without saying anything else. I did talk to one friend who was involved, and she did make an effort, and didn't know that someone wasn't bringing a cake. I started the conversation with "I just need to vent, I'm not telling you this because I want anyone to try do anything" and she was really sweet. She said next time we all got together she wanted to bring me a big cupcake and she would sing to me.

I know I am blessed with family, and I do have true friends who are there for me. Sometimes I just need to remind myself that.

Again, thanks for listening and understanding. I hope Wednesday goes by quickly, and I'd bring you a plate of food if I was close enough!

Hugs back atcha!
Becky

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05, Bilateral pulmonary emboli 10/09
Currently on Humira, Omeprazole, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12, Coumadin


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 11/23/2009 8:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Becky,

You can send a virtual plate of food, with desert. lol...

The sad part is I wont be on the forum much that day. I will come on in the morning and late at night after I get home from work. I work from 2-10:30. I hope it is somewhat busy so the time will go by fast.

I am glad that your friend understood. Sounds like you do have some good friends, as I do. I was reminded of that yesterday. I am really fortunate.

I am glad that you sound better. I hope that you feel better too. I guess we all need to vent once in a while.

Take care Becky,

Have a great evening.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


stronglady4me
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 470
   Posted 11/24/2009 12:42 AM (GMT -7)   
B77 it isn't stupid. Birthdays have traditions without which it just doesn't feel like a birthday. I suspect you just need someone to listen and validate how you are feeling. Next year prior to the event get your friends together and say something like "The Thanksgiving dinner was nice but it didn't really feel like a birthday celebration. If we do a turkey dinner again this year, let's add birthday cake too." That way no feelings are further hurt and you have your traditions in place too.
Stronglady4me
Walk in harmony
 
I refuse to define myself by my condition or the meds I take


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 11/24/2009 6:50 AM (GMT -7)   
it is belated my friend, A REAL HAPPINESS FROM ME FOR YOU FOR THAT SPECIAL DAY YOU WERE BORN!! MUCH LUV AND HAPPINESS BECKY, JAMIE.
 
PS KAREN. THEY ARE BEING A TAD HARSH ON YOU! keep strong. here for you, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/24/2009 7:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Happy Birthday to Bar, Happy birthday to bar, happy birthday dear bar, happy birthday to you!
Sending cake and ice cream!
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…

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