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Mr. FL
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 11/27/2009 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Here's the thing. I was bumped off another forum of Healingwell. Actually, I don't think it was so much me, as the discussion I started. The forum moderators said that people were PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) were getting upset at the discussion, so no more posts would be allowed.

The topic: fear of death.

Here is the link. Those of you with PTSD, please don't click on the link.

http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=1643659

So, yes, this is my problem, and we got up to 46 messages, most of which were not from me, many (maybe not all) were going in a helpful direction. But no more.

So I am quite bummed. But before I start over again with the details of my problem and the whole history, let me first check with the forum moderators, and others, to see if there is any hope of having the discussion over here.

Thanks for you consideration,

Frank

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 11/27/2009 2:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Frank,
 
I don't know what you mean about being bumped off of another forum.  Were you banned from the site? 
 
I don't know if this is too sensitive of a subject, I don't know how the members would react to it.  I do know that I have lately realized mortality.  As I had to have my dog put to sleep.  I now think of people dieing and other pets dieing, it makes me sad.  But I must say that I do have the good memories of when she was alive.  And also people that I have lost. 
 
I am not afraid to die myself, I just don't want to suffer.  In fact in my opinion, living is harder than dieing at times.  I see you are suffering from fear.  I haven't read your post on the other forum, I am just going by what you have written here thus far. 
 
I will tell you now, that all your worrying about death, is causing you to not live.  You are probably just biding time so to speak as you are filled with worry about the inevitable.  We are all going to die, but I believe that there is more to our lives, and that we will all be together in the next life.  But that is something we don't necessarily want to get into as there are people with a lot of different opinions on religion, and that is not to be discussed on the forum either.  I must mention to you that you are here for a reason.  And that is to live.  So instead of fearing the worst, why don't you go for the best and live? 
 
Have you discussed this with a counselor?  You could get guidance to a new way of thinking and you will be much happier.  You would not live in fear.  And anxiety.  I really want to encourage you to try to live in the moment.  Not to worry about the future, or dwell on the past.  Not to fear something that you have no control over.  Accept the fact that one day you wont be in existance in this world.  So you should enjoy the time that you do have.  I am giving you permission to live your life to the fullest.
 
Best wishes to better days for you.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Mr. FL
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 11/27/2009 2:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen,

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. To answer your first question, I myself wasn't banned, but the topic was. Below is the last entry, which gives you some idea. I am seeing a therapist, who said that participating in an online discussion would be a good idea. And most of the time, by taking certain measures, I am able to enjoy life. However, I feel like my fear is lurking and waiting to pounce. So I want to get ready, and confront it.

Frank


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted 11/23/2009 11:20 AM (GMT -7) Quote This PostIgnore Posts From MMMNAVY.alert An Admin about This Post.
Please understand that Kitt is responding to complains about this conversation triggering others PTSD. It is not anyone's posts, it is the conversation in general. We are here to protect people and frankly that is what we are going to do. We do not want to hurt people here and I think that line has been crossed. If you have questions please email me at MMMNAVY@healingwell.com.
This is a support forum, not a debate forum.
There rules about conduct towards one another, we are all ill here (even the moderators), and we have to be careful of not attacking one another.
So I am going to request that there be no more posts to subject.
They will be deleted.
Please take good care of one another.
Navy

P.S. I strongly suggest that if you have a problem about how someone moderates then you need to take it privately, because it comes off as at the very least impolite, and if that person is ill/vernerable I am sure one can see how it can be interpreted as attacking.

Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 11/23/2009 11:02:13 AM (GMT-7)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 11/27/2009 2:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I see Frank,

Well, let's try and see what happens. As long as we can keep religion out of the subject, we can see where it goes. I guess I have to say that remember death is a part of life. I don't know why, but that is what they say. And I don't know who they are. lol...

I lost my first husband to lung cancer in October of 2000. It was a Saturday. Sweetest day. Around 9:00 am. I was there holding his hand when he passed. I have to say that when he died he had the most relieved and pleasant look on his face, and I felt the energy leave his body. I know that this is spooky. But it actually happened. Death is interesting to me at times. I have watched many people in the process of dieing. I see a transition that many people might not see, or might not want to see. And I guess I believe in the after life, because I want something to be there. I don't want to think that we are nothing after we leave this world. Though I did read a little on the anxiety forum and I understand that see that you don't believe, so maybe we should not go there. Talk about getting off topic. Sorry. I know that you are here to address your fear and how you would like to over come that. I really didn't mean to get off topic. I think losing my dog is making me think too much lately. I hope that you can understand.

So please ask questions, and we will see if there is anyway that we can help you to go into the proper direction. What ever is most healing for you. You might not get a lot of replies as it is Thanksgiving weekend and I don't know how many people will be on the forum. I have to work this weekend so I wont be here alot, but some. I hope that you are able to find your answers.
 
I want to give you a site to check out.  It is just a poem by Max Ehrmann.  I find it consoling to me when I am in need of some peace.  http://www.freewebs.com/crys
 
Thought that this might make you feel better.  It let's you know that you have the right to live as much as anybody else.  I think your mind and way of thinking is standing in the way.  Not that your beliefs are wrong, by no way would I say that.  We are all entitled to believe what we want to.  But I feel like your thoughts are standing in the way of you being able to relax with life.  And once you do, you will be so happy and content.  You have that right, you have the permission.  You are alive. 
 
Take care Frank
 
Hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 11/27/2009 2:58:10 PM (GMT-7)


Mr. FL
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 11/27/2009 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen,

I really appreciate your sharing your thoughts. I don't find it spooky at all, in fact it's sort of comforting. You're right, my problem is the way my mind works. Or when you get right down to it, my problem is that I can't seem to figure out how to change how my mind works.
For now I think I will contemplate Desiderata, which I remember but hadn't read in years, and maybe read other things, and try to enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Thanks,

Frank

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 11/27/2009 7:40 PM (GMT -7)   
You are welcome...

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 11/28/2009 6:47 AM (GMT -7)   
frank i admire your courage in seeking support. i once feared death, but i was not living. the mind is a beautiful thing, dangerous at times too. yesterday for me is gone, today is now and tommorrow, that will happen. we are all on different paths, for you, you have come back for a reason. hopefully we can be of help. please advise how i can be of help. my compassion to you. jamie. keep strong, and know that we care.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


Mr. FL
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 11/29/2009 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
jamiee,

Thanks, it did take more effort on my part, after being bumped from the other forum. Part of the problem is that I do enjoy life, usually, and so it would be sad to have to leave it.

Frank

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 11/30/2009 1:21 AM (GMT -7)   
frank, i get it. one day at a time, one thing at a time. you are here on this earth for a reason, furthermore you have gifts and talents unique only to you. that happy middle ground is hard to find, but let me say this: you are on the path to finding it my friend!!!! keep talking, hoping you feel more at ease with every day that passes. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


Mr. FL
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 12/4/2009 12:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry I've been away for a while. Sometimes it's hard to get private computer time.

A couple thoughts--there's that song from Sleepless in Seattle, called something like Wee Small Hours of the Morning, about the time of day when you are free from other distractions of the day, and that's when you remember something sad (in the movie, the loss of a spouse). That's also the time when my fears can hit. On the other hand, my fear has saved me in a sense. Like a lot of people in this forum, I thought about suicide at some point. But I was too afraid of what death might bring. So, I'm still here.

Frank

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 12/4/2009 1:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Mr FL,
 
I am so glad that you are still here with us.  I know about the morning thoughts, that is when you should come on here and post.  I often do with a cup of coffee.  After meds of course, lol...
 
I hope that you are feeling better now.  You have a lot to live for.  Keep that in mind.  You are a good person and deserve to have a happy life.  And we enjoy your company.
 
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 12/6/2009 11:14 AM (GMT -7)   
frank i have been down that path many a time, and yes on a few occassions i am lucky to still be here. i am a s/ab survivor, physical and psychological survivor, i have had 28 psych adnissions, 6 private and lengthy, many therapists, psychologists and shrinks, was in full-time therapy for 4 and a half years straight, did a 6 month inpatient stay for a program for people with severe borderline personality disorder. 2004. have had a course of treatment, ECT. six. been on the med merry go round, was homeless for 2 years, stayed in emergency accom for 3 months and 2 years in a salvo mens refuge, a dive. have lived rough, streets, along time, was kicked out of my mothers house, have struggled with family, ie, i am the messed up one. have had many personal loses, incl my lady in o6. very sudden. fell foul to addictive behaviours, have self destructed on many occassions as well. i have and are still being used by one family member, and her defunct partner has done some stuff to me that i can not say. too graphic, she lives up the road, my sis but have not been inside her place for 2 years now. i will not be alone with person.


have more to say, but i think you understand, i have been through alot. so, i wrote this so i could hopefully positively impact on you, for things have and are improving, still a lot of demons, albeit i no longer live in the past.......forward my friend. keep well and safe. jamie.


(Hi Jamie -- just changed a little "language" -- I know you were "shielding" it, but it was clear anyway: thanks, serafena)

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 12/6/2009 3:07:33 PM (GMT-7)


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 12/6/2009 2:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Mr. FL,
I just wanted to let you know that it was not your post that was the issue, it was another member being abusive towards another member, and that is why there were deleted posts, and that end put to that conversation on that forum. I want to assure you it was nothing you did, feel free to post back there, but let's stay off that subject on that forum for a couple more weeks until things cool down.
Thanks,
Navy
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 12/6/2009 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   
  1. sorry for not sheilding it. and for the expression. jamie.

YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


Mr. FL
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 12/7/2009 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Navy,

I appreciate your letting me know that it wasn't my posts that were the problem. I've been feeling paranoid about maybe posting the wrong thing.

Even so, I worry that this is a controversial topic that people just get fired up about. But I guess that's what these forums are for.

Jamie, wow, you've had a lot going on. You say to keep moving forward, and that is the right thing to do. Do you have any suggestions about doing that, that you have found useful?

Thanks,

Frank

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18742
   Posted 12/7/2009 4:36 PM (GMT -7)   
yes, will compile some stuff later. jamie. keep well. back later, coffee, cricket resuming, australia v west indies, test, final day of the second test. cheers, jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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