Help/Advice needed

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Missbananza
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/2/2009 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok so a few months ago i was with this guy, who turns out to be my current boyfriend (however we broke up yesterday) and anyways, it was the summer we were drinking lots and i was really drunk and tired so went to bed about 9pm, my boyfriend say he was going to watch a few films first then come to bed, i didnt care was just so tired, I woke up at about 2/3 to my body moving, i was facing away from him, it took me a few secs to realise where i was and what was happening, he had his  in me had his hands on my bum and was movin my body, i heard him groaning, i was terrifed i didnt know what to do, so i started to move and make noises like i was waking up, he stopped for a bit, and i moved slightly away, i then pretended to go back tosleep and then a few mins later i felt him sliding his  in me, then really quickly he shoved his  in me again. i really moved about and started to sit up, he then turned over quickly. I didnt know what to do, i lay awake all night to scared to go to sleep.

I know that i am mostly to blame, i told my mate at work when i was drunk, i was crying and everything, and he went nuts, really wants to hurt my EX, he says its rape, but im not sure it is.

Help me.


i cant explain why i still went with him, he looked after me, protected me, i seen him like a father figure, and i didnt want to lose him, my self esteem is pretty low.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/2/2009 9:05:17 PM (GMT-7)


ivy6
Elite Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 12/2/2009 8:23 PM (GMT -7)   
What happened to you was definitely wrong.

Missbananza, I'm not sure where you live, but I recommend looking in the phone book and seeing if there's a women's help (or rape?) line that you can ring. The definition of rape *can* vary between cultures and countries, so I'd feel happier if you could get expert advice suited to your particular location.

You could also try discussing this with your doctor or counsellor, if you have one.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~


Missbananza
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/2/2009 8:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, i'll look into seeing someone.

Thanks

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 12/2/2009 9:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Missbananza,

This is very disturbing to me. I hope that you let us know what happens. I had to delete a little of your post, but we still know what is going on. It could be strong for some of our younger viewers.
 
I hope that you talk to somebody as Ivy suggested.  Though you were drinking, what he did wasn't right.  Talk to somebody professional and get some suggestions.  I don't know if there is a lot that you can or can't do, but it will make you feel better and give you some closure with this matter.  And as I said, keep posting and let us know what is going on.

Hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 12/2/2009 9:18:56 PM (GMT-7)


damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 12/3/2009 2:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Missbananza,
 
I absolutely agree with Karen and other's,as what you have been through is enough to get anyone sad,depressed ect!!!
You really need to go and see some kind of therapist to get the help that you will need and fast!!!!  From what uve described in ur post I certainly class that kind of behaviour as "RAPE" mo if's but's or maybe's. I would also find out if this person can be charged with "RAPE" as it's such a violation to you and he deserves to pay for his crime. I to was a victim of rape when i was nearly 22yrs old and am now 41. The person that did this to me actually started stalking me and following me until one night he broke into my home,drugged me until i was fully unconsious
then he bashed me to a pulp then proceeded to have his way with me. He did this to me for 18hours until my best friend at the time was worrried that i hadn't turned up to her home so she came around to my home and when i didn't answer she called the police who then came and broke the front door down and found me lying in my bed in a pool of blood. I couldn't even sit on my bottom for about 6weeks after the attack as he damaged me terribly,but even though i was unaware of what he was doing it was when they finally woke me up from the drug's he put down my throat. The worst part for me was when i had to stand in a court room and be called terrible names ect!!! I was also put into hiding for 12 months as he got off on bail then about 10mths later he did the exact same thing to one of my neighbours. Im sorry if i have gone i nto to much detail about this but it just seems to be flowing out of me. Your the first person besides my family that ive told about this horrible subject......... please pursue this and never feel like it was your fault because it's not ok.
stay safe and if you ever need to have a chat just look for my email address and we can chat in private if you would like to.
stay well darling.
 
ur in my thought's,
 
damaged....... shakehead shakehead     xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
dx bowel cr 2001. permanent ileostomy.
sub-total colectomy 2001,went wrong.
total colectomy 2001,left swab inside,infected,emergency surgery,blood transfusion.
complication 2001,bowel abcess,surgery.
Infection at lap site,another surgery.
Complication's 2001,bowel heamorage,blood transfusion.
Spent 12mths at Cabrini Hospital.
dx 1993 endometriosis chronic.
27 yrs, hysterectomy.
2mths later, bi-lat ophrectomy,removal of both ovaries.
dx 2005,bi-lateral mastectomy,heart attack on operating table,contracted MRSA in Coronary Care Unit.
Picc Line for 6mths for venus access & daily antibiotics.
dx 2009, parastomal hernia,march 09 hernia repair & re-fashioning of stoma.
dx 2009, complications abcess & peritontise,
emergency surgery,icu 5 day's.
dx 1995, chronic depression,o.c.d. & bi-polar11.
Currently taking Avanza,seroquel,valium,asprin & HRT.  I get depressed reading this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 


damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 12/3/2009 2:22 AM (GMT -7)   
P.S. THE DRUG THAT HE USED ON ME WAS CALLED "ROHYPNOL" AND HE NEARLY OVERDOSED ME ON IT TOO!!!! pLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH THESE KIND OF SICK PEOPLE.

DAMAGED.....
dx bowel cr 2001. permanent ileostomy.
sub-total colectomy 2001,went wrong.
total colectomy 2001,left swab inside,infected,emergency surgery,blood transfusion.
complication 2001,bowel abcess,surgery.
Infection at lap site,another surgery.
Complication's 2001,bowel heamorage,blood transfusion.
Spent 12mths at Cabrini Hospital.
dx 1993 endometriosis chronic.
27 yrs, hysterectomy.
2mths later, bi-lat ophrectomy,removal of both ovaries.
dx 2005,bi-lateral mastectomy,heart attack on operating table,contracted MRSA in Coronary Care Unit.
Picc Line for 6mths for venus access & daily antibiotics.
dx 2009, parastomal hernia,march 09 hernia repair & re-fashioning of stoma.
dx 2009, complications abcess & peritontise,
emergency surgery,icu 5 day's.
dx 1995, chronic depression,o.c.d. & bi-polar11.
Currently taking Avanza,seroquel,valium,asprin & HRT.  I get depressed reading this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 12/3/2009 8:12 AM (GMT -7)   
MB,
First of all, I want to assure you that you did nothing wrong. I use to work in law enforcement area and in women's advocacy. I want to assure you that in most states there is a law against having intercourse with a person who is intoxicated. In fact I do not know of a state that does not have a law like that. Furthermore, there is also laws against having intercourse with someone who is not awake.

this is some hotline info for you
http://www.rainn.org/
1-800-656-HOPE(4673)
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


Missbananza
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/3/2009 10:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone for ur support and answers and im so so sorry about using that language, i didnt mean to offend, so im really sorry, it wont happen again.

I am trying to work up the courage to talk to a project worker i used to one see.

so wish me luck

Missbananza

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 12/3/2009 10:46 AM (GMT -7)   
MB,
Do not worry about offending, we just have some young ones on the site.
You do have alot of courage to even talk about it.
Good luck!
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders:_All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.

I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586

All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.

The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life?  Has your life brought joy to others?

Make sure your suffering has meaning…


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 12/3/2009 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Missbananza,

How are you doing today? You got some very good advice from other members. I am sure that once you are able to talk about this and get some things sorted out, that things will be better. Know that we are all here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


CharliesGirl
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/3/2009 11:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Missbananza...

It's aweful that that happened to you, no one should have to deal with that. I hope you're doing better today and find someone to talk to in your local area and to get some help. The fact that he was so close to you makes it worse, but also makes it easy for him. Again I'm sorry, and I hope you can work through this alright.

Missbananza
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/3/2009 12:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all, i am feeling a little better thank you :) just taking each day at a time. xx

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 12/3/2009 10:13 PM (GMT -7)   
I am glad that you are taking this one day at a time, it really keeps the stress down this way. Try not to dwell on it, but as thoughts come to your head, write them down on a piece of paper and keep it in a safe spot. They try to forget about it. That piece of paper will really help you down the road. Each time you think of something, write it down. Write down how it makes you feel. Save this to take to your doctor our counselor, or whoever it may be that you decide to see.

I am glad that you are feeling somewhat better.

Hugs, karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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