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Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 1
Posted 12/8/2009 11:17 PM (GMT -7)
I'm going to apologize now, because I know this is going to be long - 'Cause I get carried away... But.... Here it goes.
I don't know what brought me on here, but my own fingers clicking away... I went on google and asked for some "online counsilling" and it brought me here. I'm just... really stressed. I mean, I know my problems aren't serious - but, that doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do... I was curious and I roamed around on the site, and I seen that there wasn't very many people my age - I mean, not that it matters.. But I dont want you guys to read this and think "Oh shes young, she still has like a whole LIFETIME to get over it".... But I think its better this way, because then I can get some different views... I dont know where to start!!! I'm just really over whelmed by everything.. I mean, I'll start from the beginning. My uncle disappeared for about
ten years and randomly showed up expecting a shelter food and water without any source of income. Now wouldn't you be suspicious? Well, being the teenage daughter - OF COURSE I WAS! My mom and dad work literally like.. 24/7. We're a close family - but we're not
open. Like, I can't really talk to my mom or dad, or any of my siblings. So it was really hard for me when I was having these emotions.. I live with my two sisters, one that is eight right now, and another that is one year older then me. Now, when my uncle came and lived with us my parents seen it as a profit, because my dad is paranoid about
leaving the house alone - but now that my uncle was there 24/7 it allowed me free from babysitting my little sister and going out with friends. And what I mean by that, is my uncle took over babysitting. I was so under the impression that he was like... SUPER good with kids.. but then I realised, he was too good with them. It makes me like tear up when ever I want to explain this, but I just remember those times when I was just sitting there when my uncle would just take my sister into his room and let her "help clean".... when he randomly turns on the vaccuum and leaves it in one spot, and I hear my little sister crying... I finally
opened up and told my mom like.. "Dude, hes doing stuff to her thats not right" and she denied it, I mean, her own brother? I dont blame her for thinking that. But then like, a year later, which would be a year ago now. Cops came pounding at the door and took my uncle away. I knew he was to shady, and too secretive - he had frikken 2 warrants!! Apparently a woman he was with, prior to reappearing after 10 years at our doorstep, accused him of sexually abusing (molesting) her youngest daughter. We got all messed up in this court crap, and just complex stuff like that. My little sister and I ended up staying at my other relatives house because we weren't allowed anywhere around him. So, after two months... my mom finally said "you guys can only be home when I'm home" but that rule is more for my little sister now, because I just come home whenever I want to. So now thats only problem #1.... It might not seem like alot, but its affects my mom and dad so much, and just everyone... Its such a hardship! So during all that, I met this boy. I planned not to! because I thought dating was stupid because you just end up heartbroken anyway. So I vowed not to until I noticed the boys were maturing and able to stay comitted. And, of course I broke that bow, and I fell in love with a boy! Seems easy, but he was an exchange student at my school (Yeah yeah yeah, idiocy right? haha) I was with him for about
9 months before he had to go back... And right now we're on an ongoing long distance relationship waiting for our future to takehold (Just gotta get school over and done with haha). So, I mean, for those who are married, or has a partner.. can you imagine being away from them for a long period of time? Its hard!!! I don't like it, but i'm not giving up - and neither will he. And this isn't just teenage love! Think of me as a married woman if thats what it takes to tell you guys what we have right now is serious! So just recently, in october. Wow it's weird that its been this long. My uncle, aunt and cousin were in a car... (oh man, waterworks). They were turning a corner at an intersection when they collided with a train.... they weren't stupid and didn't see the train. The intersection that they were at is very sticky and it was congested at the time. My Uncle and Aunt passed away... As for my cousin, he was immediately airlifted to hospital and is still currently in there... Hes in a coma and hes not going to remember us.... Andrew and I were so so so so soooo close... and having such a close family, this tragedy just tore us all apart... I mean not only do I feel craapy because they passed and my bestfriend is in the hospital, but i feel bad for the rest of my family.. My dad's and other three auntie's brother? We had a waking after the funeral (I read something out at the funeral, that was really hard)... and I was talking with my auntie's and they were just so heartbroken, i've never seen them just fall apart in my arms.. I didn't know what to do... I just want to piece all back together for them but I cant... And I know "things will get better" but, honostly - I dont think my family will ever let this burden disappear. We have family reunions almost every month, and having them not there is not the same. This is just so hard... With school, and you know highschool drama... I just don't know what to do.... I don't knwo what there is to do, but I can't help but feel so down.. and just helpless.. I dont know.. I dont even know what I am asking for, I just know that I need help! Please...
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big friendly elephant.
Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18993
Posted 12/9/2009 1:40 AM (GMT -7)
hi zeeroop, you have taken on a lot. i think it would be good to work through some of your issues with a counsellor. tis hard i know, but without receiving therapy myself i think i would have been still in a very dark place. you have done well to identify that these things are causing distress to you. you have been brave in posting, be brave and seek some professional assistance. school, dr, help-line and or someone trusted. life moves fast, life is a complex journey of lessons, direction and experiences. depression is an insidious beast, thus i would strongly suggest you talk with your dr. there are various treatments avail, and your doc is best to determine your dx. if you are dx with depression, and in whatever form he/she can aid you in finding avenues to beat it. hoping this helps. jamie. ps welcome to the forum. the guys here are very helpful and understanding.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40940
Posted 12/9/2009 9:05 AM (GMT -7)
And welcome!!! Jamie is right, you could use some counseiling for the extra support and to get things in order and draw some closure on things.
I am sorry about
your uncle, but glad that you noticed what was going on. He is a sick man. I am glad that he is out of your house. I am so sorry for what you have gone through.
There are a couple of online sites that I will post for you, but I think you need some one on one counseling, you really need the support as you have been through so much.
I don't know how much help these will be with your situation, but they are free, so check them out.
I hope that you feel better soon. Know it takes time to grieve, you might want to check out some grief counseling. You really have a lot on your plate. And yes things do get better with time, but you need support right now, that is so important.
I hope that we can help you to get some direction in your life to help you along. You sound very smart. You also sound very special.
Take care, keep posting.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
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Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
Posted 12/9/2009 7:29 PM (GMT -7)
I know high school is really difficult to get through. people can seem so stupid! just don't let your morals stray from you and stay strong being yourself. Try to have fun and hopefully it'll be over before you know it!
I'm sorry about
everything with your uncle. It's really difficult to deal with that kind of stuff, especially when your parents don't believe you.
It's such a great thing that you knew something was wrong before everyone else did. It means you have a great intuition! I hope you keep protecting your younger sister and can just talk with her about
anything and everything and make sure she isn't struggling in school or anything. It helps soooo much to have an older sibling you can trust in and talk to about
As far as your man being gone, I also know how difficult that can be. Keep talking to him in whatever way you can, even if its by sending him letters. And just know that you guys are always sleeping under the same moon and can both look up at the same stars!
If you have time and the time differences allow you can both plan on watching a certain movie at the same time and compare notes either during or after. It's rough but you can get through it.
Hope that helped a little!
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