New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

nyla100
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/14/2009 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm not sure if anyone has advice, but I hope someone does. In March 2009, I moved into my new house. In April, I got fired from my job that I was so happy with. Sometime at the end of March, I began dating someone in Washington, DC. I lived in Baltimore Md. I had plans for my new home, and well since I haven't been working, my boyfriend suggested me renting my house out, to stay with him. We've only been together 9 months, and I'm not ready to move fast. I do love him, but I feel like I've been taken from my home, family, and friends. I'm here, without a job, and he wants me to find work here. I miss the town I grew up in, I've been there all my life. It's not that I don't want to pursue 'real love', I think every girl dreams of that. He has alot of female friends, and I just don't know how to cope with that. I've had a few bad relationships, so its hard for me to trust in someone. I'm basically living with him, playing wife, and mom when his 5 year is here. I am so tired of working for other people, giving them my best, and then they fire me. If I do get a job here, that would really mean, I'm staying here. He doesn't live alone, his sister lives with us. She gets in her little nasty moods, and I sometimes just want to go home and be alone with a bottle of whiskey or something. You see with him, he takes his phone everywhere, while he sleeps, its under his pillow, if he's in the bathroom, he takes it there. It just makes me feel like he is hiding something. How should I approach him in a way that would not turn him off? PLEASE HELP.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 12/14/2009 10:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Nyla,
 
I basically want to welcome you to the forum.  This is a wonderful place to come.  We have many wonderful members here and can give a lot of good advice.
 
I think what Soibhan says makes a lot of sense.  I would talk to him about his seemingly attachment to that phone.  Even if he has a lot of female friends, keep in mind that you are the one he chose to live with and love.  So I wouldn't let that get to me. 
 
As for his sister, can you ignore her bad moods?  Hopefully she wont be there long.  I know how an atmosphere like that can bring a person down.  It is hard to be happy around somebody who is unhappy.  But remember this is her problem, not yours.  Try not to let her get to you.
 
I hope that things get better for you soon.  I hope that you find a job that you like.  Keep posting and let us know how things are going.  Take care my friend, best wishes to you.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


nyla100
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/16/2009 7:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks to both of you for replying. I have an email address and if anyone would like to have it, its .
I have spoken to him about his attachment to the phone. He just said that he likes to have it near him incase it rings. I guess you are right, I am the one he chose and I'm happy with that.
Last night we had an argument over stupid little things. John has his own business and has 3 rental properties. But it seems he's VERY TIGHT. Everytime I ask from anywhere between 2-8 bucks, he says he doesn't have it. We've been trying to quit smoking, and when he buys a pack, he hides it, like last night. I still have my home in Baltimore. I'm making payments
Needless to say, I was drinking last night. I've been drinking more so since I lost my job in April of this yr. I hate myself when I drink. I argue and when he does little stupid things like hiding the cigarettes and says no when I ask him for 2 bucks, its a major turn off. I get unemployment, and when I have money, I spend it with HIM. So, I think from now on, I will tell him that I have bills to pay, just like how he does.
You see, there's something else. My ex boyfriend used to live with me, and even tho we aren't together anymore, we still love one another. He says, in so many words, I should come back to Maryland.
I went to check my house yesterday and he came by because he knew I was in town, and all we did, because of time issues is hug so tight, he missed me, and I missed him. While it's definitely not a sexual thing with me and him, our love, will never end. Is it wrong to love 2 people? He chose to leave our home and move in with someone else. I didn't know until after the fact. I'm sure he's feeling it now for how he did things. His mom told me he isn't happy.
As for work, Im so sick of working for other people, bending over backwards, and then they fire me. I've been let go by 3 different employers, one wanted to hire a family member, so they fired me, the other said I didn't 'fit' into their group, (not because my work wasn't good), and the last job fired me because my boss wanted to give her girlfriend my job. ARGGGGHHHH!

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/16/2009 8:32:33 AM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 12/16/2009 8:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow,
 
That is something about losing those three jobs the way that you did.  It isn't fair, but it happened and you can't change that. 
 
It is okay to love more than one person.  We all have a lot of love in us.  Just don't see him behind your boyfriend's back. 
 
It sounds like your boyfriend is unfair to you.  I too would hang on to your money for bills since he is so tight with his. 
 
The phone thing still bothers me, it is as if he is hiding something.  Keep an eye out for yourself.  Protect yourself from hurt.  But if he keeps this up, I would seriously reconsider moving out and just taking care of you. 
 
Talking to a counselor would really help you out.  They are trained for that, we aren't.  So please consider.
 
Keep posting as we are all here for you.
 
Hugs, Karen
 
PS  I took your email address out of your post.  You can put it in your profile and only members can see it.  Not everybody...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, December 08, 2016 8:55 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,147 posts in 301,277 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151376 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, ufindjess.
290 Guest(s), 10 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
THE HAPPY TURTLE, ufindjess, dacarte3, LG13, jdcd57, WORLD HEALING, sam12, Sarakt, LiveJoy, trumpet123


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer