Alright, so I'm a 17 year old male in high school, and you all probably should know that I shouldn't be depressed at this point, there really isn't much you should be actually depressed about
at this stage, as the only thing that matters in high school is education, anything social, well, that's all going to go away after you leave and go to college.
However, I found myself a few weeks ago behaving differently than I normally do, I started looking for more sympathy from people way more than I ever have (None is my usual), and I started not caring about
anything I was passionate for. I'm a normal procrastinator, but I usually always pull through and get the job done, however, I just stopped doing it altogether. Nothing really seems to make me happy, the only thing that makes me happy for minuets at a time is having fun conversations with this girl I've, let's just say, cared deeply about
for over a year, however, I barely get to talk to her anyways, so that doesn't happen a lot. I've lost a good portion of my friends because I keep caring about
stuff I shouldn't, dramatic stuff. I don't joke around very often like I used to, and ask all these questions to my friends about
whether I annoy them or not, because it seemed like it. And if I didn't before, then I do now, as I'm only talked to by my very best friend, while all my old friends ignore me.
I started wondering why these changes occurred within me, as I do not like the person I've become comparative to who I am a year ago. I am very ashamed of the changes that I have gone through, and it's difficult for me to post here, because usually I can fix these kind of things myself, however, I feel that this would require some more help, as it's been going on for a while, and I see no improvement. So I started doing some research, and I've learned something that disconcerns me. I am depressed, medically according to this page: www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen.htm
On the "Signs and Symptoms" part of that, I have every one of those except suicidal thoughts. This does not make sense to me, I don't understand how I can be depressed. I DO have problems, like everyone else, however, they aren't very big, and I'm not about
to expound and look for sympathy here. I am fully aware that I SHOULDN'T be depressed, that I shouldn't feel the way I do, that the feeling of crying shouldn't haunt me. I am fully aware that this is stupid, that this shouldn't be happening, that I should just suck it up as I have in incredibly worse parts of my life. Things are going well as compared to my childhood. I know why I'm sad, I just don't understand why it's making me depressed.
So, any advice, counseling, input or anything would be nice. I'd really love to not be the person I am, it's ruining me.