Am I depressed????

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

blackw3ll
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/18/2009 1:06 AM (GMT -7)   
i think i am depressed, but how do i know for sure. i feel like saying i am depressed is attention-seeking. nobody here takes it seriously anyway. usually i can keep it under control but my girlfriend broke up with me on sunday. we were on the second day of a two-week overseas exchange trip. it is so hard for me to keep acting normal around her and i can't wait to get home so i can just let go. she has been my emotional rock for the past three years and i am so lost now, i have no other close friends that i can talk to or that i dare let my guard down to because i think i am gay and nobody knows about it.

honestly i don't look forward to anything now. she will be in all my classes at school and i don't know how to act around her now. i used to be active in martial arts but i lost the use of my legs last year and i pretty much have no outlet for release. relationships with family are not good at all. i don't see a future for myself. i hope i die before i reach 20.
 
I gave your thread a name.
Hugs, Karen

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/18/2009 7:16:57 AM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 12/18/2009 7:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Black,
 
First of all, I am sorry about losing the use of your legs, that alone would be depressing.  The best way to find out is to talk to your doctor.  Then go from there.  It sounds like you love your girlfriend, I would hate to see you lose that relationship if it is just depression getting in the way.  So seeing a doctor and maybe getting set up with counseling would help you save your relationship.  And if it is not meant to be, it would help you get on with life. 
 
I meant to welcome you to the forum.  There are a bunch of wonderful people here that are good for advice and support.  So please try to stay with us. 
 
Please talk to your doctor about this.  It can get serious.  And you would want to stay on top of your emotions at this time.  I am sure that your girlfriend really loves you and is probably wondering what is going on at this point.  Be honest with her. 
 
Take care, keep posting.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Linx
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 12/18/2009 7:50 AM (GMT -7)   
First I'm sorry to hear you are having such difficulty, but know that there are people out there who can help. Yes, get intouch with a doc. and be evaluated. you should always take care of yourself first....things will come together after....I'm so sorry you lost your legs as that had to have been a big part of your feeling the way you do. As for the gay thing I've been there and at one point in my life I thought for sure I was straight, but it didn't turn out that way. I'm not going to tell you it's not a struggle....but first get a doc.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 12/18/2009 10:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi blackw3ll,

Welcome to HealingWell.

You are dealing with some extremely challenging situations right now, and you need to acknowledge that and give yourself a break. I know very well how hard it is to lose someone you've been so close with for so long. You will need time to grieve the relationship and heal. That can take a long time. But you will feel better again. Things may look pretty black right now, but with time, you will feel better. Hang in there, write it out, and let us reassure you.

Be well,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


blackw3ll
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/19/2009 12:58 AM (GMT -7)   
hi all and thanks for your responses and kind words, it really means a lot. the thing is that I don't feel like my (ex)girlfriend cares for me anymore. she has been heading overseas a lot for the past two months. before she left for her last trip she slept over at my place and basically made me feel really good, then I didn't hear from her for two weeks and now she has decided that she's straight because she had a crush on a guy who went with her and he liked her too. she didn't even tell me any of this, I don't know how I guessed it but I had a feeling and confronted her and I was right. she said that it made her feel good to know that a guy would like her. she thinks she's fat and that guys only like skinny girls. which just makes me feel like our relationship meant nothing to her because I'm not a guy. this is such an irrational response but I feel like a manhater now (no offense meant) because I want her so bad and I'll never get another chance now and even the craptiest guy will still stand a chance to be with her. I hate it when I hear guys complain about girls not liking them or about how they have to hide their relationships and yet they can afford to be open about it to friends or on their blogs. if you are gay these problems become so much bigger.

the truth about my legs is that they aren't a lost cause. if I do enough therapy I may regain function. but I am so apathetic about them now even though they are a main reason for my feeling this way. i've already been trying therapy for 3 years yet I feel like it doesn't help at all and this is mostly why I have just given up on it.

ohwell, I don't want to spend too much time entertaining my thoughts, it's not good because then I can't get them out of my head. thanks again guys.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 12/19/2009 8:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Do the threrapy for your legs, get strong.  You deserve this.  You need to think of you right now and what you are going to do to continue living.  I am sorry about your relationship.  And I am sorry that you feel you hate the male gender.   There are many compassionate men out there, you just have to meet some.  You could even be friends with guys.  They are great friends at times. 
 
I guess your girlfriend is just changing and moving on with her life, you need to do that too.  But it sounds like you need to work on you.   You are a special person, worthy of love and acceptance.  But please get better, go to therapy.  It is hard, it is a long road, but you are worth it.  It will occupy your time and your mind.  You are right, entertaining negative thoughts puts us in a bad place.
 
Keep trying to get better, and remember that we are here for you.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 1:31 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,659 posts in 301,041 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151200 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, MartiG.
295 Guest(s), 11 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
George_, BnotAfraid, 81GyGuy, dacarte3, Teamchris, MartiG, LG13, Mad Martha, lymedriven, trumpet123, Myself 09


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer