Depression and Infidelity

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kb3mux
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/21/2009 10:14 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been suffering from depression for about 15 years now.... I stopped taking the meds for a while and everything was fine. Or so I thought. I started relapsing about 2 years ago, and cheated on my NOW Wife. After she found out about it, we seperated and I am struggling to deal with my depression and my marriage. I have recently be put on antidepressents. I feel as if I let her down. We both refuse to give up, but we are still seperated for 3 months now. Any ideas?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 12/22/2009 8:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there,
 
I guess my advice (as usual) would be to take this one day at a time.  Stay on your meds, try to not feel guilty about what you did, that will eat you up.  But remember that you did make a mistake and it could take her a while to come to terms with this and forgive you.  Keep trying, I am sure between the two of you, this will work out.  Trust issues might be touchy for a while.  But that is to be expected. 
 
It sounds like you are both trying.  So keep on with that.
 
Best wishes to you.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


kb3mux
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/22/2009 10:02 AM (GMT -7)   
we are. Our 8 month old twins seem to hold us from being apart. sometimes i sleep there to take care of them overnight, to give my wife a break. I just hope we dont stay apart to much longer, that eats me alive more than thinking of what I did wrong.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 12/22/2009 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I am very happy for your twins.  Yes that can keep you together, enjoying them.  Just make sure that they don't get hurt in any of this.  Make sure that you keep their best interest first and farmost.  You will get through this all. 
 
I hope that you are having a good day today.  Things are good here. 
 
Keep trying and put the past where it belongs, in the past.  You will do fine.  One day at a time, that is what I always say.  It works for me.  And for many others here. 
 
Counseling is always advisable too.  It is good to have a professional sounding board.
 
Take care,
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


arneeb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2350
   Posted 12/23/2009 3:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Zip ur pants up, hold ur head up, and love ur wife like todays is the last day of the rest of ur life... and don't repeat ur error... forgive urself and move on...

jurplesman
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 12/23/2009 11:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I can see you are in a very difficult situation. Infidelity in marriage is not uncommon when one of the partners suffers from an unexplainable depression. After all, he/she is depressed and unhappy in whatever circumstances. It is not entirely unnatural for a depressed person to speculate that there is something missing in the marriage. It is like "doing the geographics" as alcoholics say, or looking for greener pasture around the corner, without realising that the unhappiness is internal and not external.

You have to treat the depression before you can repair the damage done to the marriage. As a Nutritional Psychologist I look upon depression as one of the underlying diseases, that interferes with the normal production of feel good neurotransmitters such as serotonin. In many cases this can be teated without recourse to drugs by a competent Nutritional Doctor, familiar with Nutritional Medicine. It is explained at:

Depression is a Nutritional Disorder
Retired Nutritional Psychologist


arneeb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2350
   Posted 12/24/2009 2:22 AM (GMT -7)   
wow.. thanks there good info.. and so right on..

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 12/24/2009 9:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Depression can be a nutritional disorder, but isn't always.  It can also be food allergies, but not always.
 
I just don't want anybody to stop their meds without talking to their doctor first.  As some of us do need our medications to feel better. 
 
So please stick with your protocol.  And if you want to try another way, please consult your physician first.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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