I have been horribly depressed for about
two weeks. We're having financial problems (both laid off, barely surviving on unemployment), and I am having health problems (Multiple Sclerosis).
Lately I just want to hide. I feel so scared and overwhelmed and as if a thousand pounds of invisible weight were pressing down on me. The thought of taking a shower or going outside or worse to a job interview or even to walk the dog seem like enormous, impossible tasks.
My new husband (married 6 months) has never really dealt with depression, and his response is to be angry and resentful. It feels like (and I know my perspective is skewed right now) he doesn't look at me anymore - when he talks to me he looks in another direction, won't tell me what he is thinking, and today went out by himself and I don't know ... I feel like he gave me a guilt trip over it. He says he has been depressed but he doesn't let it take over his life.
I feel like our whole future is on my shoulders, because he takes everything so lightly and doesn't seem to be worried about
our financial problems or my health issues. He acts like things will just work out on their own, and has put off looking for work until after the holidays. I do our budget and know that we don't have time to lose. I don't know what will happen next month when the bills are due, all I know is we won't have the money to pay them.
Christmas was a joke. We had no tree, no presents, nothing - and that made me sad as well.
On top of that I have this disease (MS) and my health insurance was cut off.
I don't know. I feel so misunderstood. I feel like he thinks it's a choice I made, to feel depressed, scared, terrified really, and so so so so so alone.
I got out the business card of a psychiatrist and told my husband I was going to get an appointment. I asked him to be patient and told him that I needed reassurance and support and encouragement.
He doesn't seem to have any idea of what that means. He just seems disgusted with me, which makes me feel worse than I already do. I don't think he has any idea how awful depression can feel, or how it can get to this point (my not even wanting to get out of bed).
Can anyone help?
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/27/2009 9:12:12 PM (GMT-7)