Do I choose to be Unhappy

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unthriving007
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/29/2009 8:07 AM (GMT -6)   
I am a 49 yr old man who has depression. I am taking medications as well as talk therapy. This seems to help some what but does not eliminate the depression. Is it possible that I am choosing to be depressed and noty wanting to get better. That's what my usually wonderful wife thinks. Everything is going fine for me and then a small bump in the road gets me down and I struggle to get over it.

If you have any experience in this area or any word of wisdom please reply.

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2297
   Posted 12/29/2009 9:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Have you discussed this with your doctor & counselor? What do they think?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41244
   Posted 12/29/2009 10:23 AM (GMT -6)   
HI Unthriving,
 
First of all, welcome to the forum.  You have come to a really good place.  And I agree with  Frances, talking to your doc or therapist can help.
 
But I don't think we choose to be unhappy, but, I do think we can choose to be happy.  But that takes practice and a lot of work.  I choose to be happy.  I shrug off a lot, where some people think I am crazy.  But I choose not to react to things that bother me.  And yes, that can be done.  Take it with a grain of salt as my grandmother use to say.  And she also said, it isn't the problem, but how we deal with it.  Life is short.  So choose to be happy.  It makes all of the difference in the world. 
 
Best wishes to you my friend.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 19298
   Posted 12/29/2009 8:51 PM (GMT -6)   
my pearls of wisdom that i use and i will offer to you is:
 
work on your weaknesess and capitlize on your strengths.
 
it is the negatives that get us-that bump in the road, so keep positive.
 
a small response for a small problem.......etc. depression is an insidious beast, and we get flustered with minor stuff-they turn into bigger stuff real quick and- this is where the problem lyes.
 
meditation is very good, as is being productive, hobbies, reading, walking, etc. i wish you well. thx 4 sharing. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


unthriving007
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/30/2009 9:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all for your responses. I will be discussing this at my next visit to my therapist. When the unpleasnat thoughts come and I realize them I try to think of something different kind of like changing the channel works most of the time. Thank you for allowing me to discuss this as I do not get honest responses from those around me. I guess they either don't know what to say or can't deal with these types of issues. Telling other folks seems to change their behaviour towards me so it is nice to get some good feedback in this forum.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41244
   Posted 12/30/2009 10:37 AM (GMT -6)   
I am glad that you are going to the therapist soon.  And yes, I would discuss this with her. 
 
You are right, people close to you have a hard time saying what is the right thing to say.  They either are afraid of hurting you or are too close to the problem to be objective, so don't blame them, try to understand.
 
Hopefully you can get some CBT therapy (cognative behavioral therapy).  It teaches us to deal with the way that we think and react to things.  Being that you are already changeing your way of thinking means that you get a head start on things.  There is also a good book called "Feeling Good" by Dr David Burns.  It is all about these things and I think it would be good for you to read, or something similar to that.  Talk to your therapist about some good books to help you out.
 
Keep up the good work.
 
Have a great day.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 19298
   Posted 12/31/2009 4:46 AM (GMT -6)   
007, unfortunately we know depression!! all the best with your therapist. cheers, jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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