HopeNope for mythoughts: Just checking in.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

mythoughts
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 143
   Posted 1/1/2010 9:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi. For Karen and all others who followed my major depressive episode last March, here's an update:
XMas 2008 - panic attacks, horrible depression, began escitalopram.
March 2009 - hospitalised for 3 wks for  planning.
April to May - DBT (Dialectical behaviour Training) through hospital out-patient.
June to present - see MSW to help manage anxiety and depression.
Oct to present - see Dr (GP who only does psychotherapy), changed to citalopram, and added bupropion (Wellbutrin XL).

Only when I hit rock bottom was I ready to change, and only by admitting my sucidal plans did the mental health 'doors' open up for me.

30+ years (since childhood) of anxiety, intense obsessing, low self esteem, fear of rejection, seemed to have caused my dysthymia, and my several major depressive episodes (including one past attempt, almost successful, and several plans). So I saw myself as a depressed person, which worsened my anxiety, et cetera. Perceived rejection from a woman, or in my occupations, were powerful triggers.

Interventions were a combo of meds and therapy.
I've made incredible changes in my thinking and responding. Techniques learned, and regular support from my MSW, were key. And the bupropion (causes me to increase dopamine) coats my feelings with Teflon. I don't overreact inside to any negative comments, even from my wife. I still feel sadness, hurt or irritation, but don't become consumed by them.

I was amazed at how quickly and effectively bupropion worked. It's not a 'fix', but it makes my daily emotional rollarcoaster easier to manage. I'll be on it, and citalopram, for another year or so, practising the management of my anxiety, obsessiveness, esteem, and depression. I'll stop when I can do it on my own.

Every day is a struggle, and thoughts of  occasionally creep back. Some days are easier, some not, and other days I have to drag myself through. Yet I have hope.

Depression is so misunderstood by those lucky enough not to have it. But I don't care if they don't get it.

Thanks for reading and responding to my posts. This site was important to me, especially during last March, my darkest hours.

Karen, I hope your journey has been good of late. If Raniah is back, then thanks again for your support.

To all, Happy New Year!

I wish you all well.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/1/2010 10:24:18 PM (GMT-7)


mythoughts
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 143
   Posted 1/1/2010 9:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I have no idea how Hopenope became part of my thread title. I didn't type Nope! Oh, well, it's cute 'cause it rhymes.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 1/1/2010 10:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mythoughts,
 
Glad to see you posting and possibley feeling better, I am glad that the bupropian is helping you.  It is a daily struggle dealing with depression and I think we all need a little help now and then.
 
I have been working hard with this job that I have.  It is peak snowmobile season and they all come in to get gas.  I was in one spot on my feet for 8 and a half hours straight.  It was rough.  This morning I was so sore that I could hardly walk.   Thinking about taking a couple of the winter months off since it is so hard for me. 
 
I lost my dog a month ago.  We had to ahve her put to sleep.   But I am going to get another pup in March.  So I am looking forward to that.  I really miss my dog.  She was such a loyal companion. 
 
I hope that things continue to go well for you and that you are able to constantly move forward with your life.  As I always say, one day at a time.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


arneeb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2350
   Posted 1/1/2010 10:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mythoughts.... ditto to all you've been through... me too... at this point non-medicated... but use techniques such as you described... and physical exercise... and I remove myself from negative people and situations as soon as possible.. and I've learned to advocate for myself along with all the others I always do...

oh, Karen how awful about ur puppy... I just got a new rescue dog... Ace... love him... I bailed him out of the local pound... I was helping his owner who was homeless and who could no longer care for him... and he is such a blessing to our family... and my guy who is terminally ill..
Happy New Year to both of you... Arneeb (Sandi)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 1/1/2010 11:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Sandi,

She was kind of a rescue dog too. If I wouldn't have taken her she would have went to the pound. She was a beautiful german shepherd, I am getting another one in the spring. I know that I can't replace my Dharma, but hopefully I can have a bond with the new one.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


arneeb
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 2350
   Posted 1/1/2010 11:29 PM (GMT -7)   
I loved Ace when he was with his former owner... I used to train Border Collie/Australian Sheperd dogs and that is what Ace is... he's so funny... we had all this snow 20 inches... he is a big dog and has a thick coat of fur... but he's from Arizona... never saw snow... so he wants to either ride in the vehicle... or walk on the sidewalk... he is amazing and has been such a joy to my significant other who is terminally ill... he doesn't know he's big... and he wore many of our christmas tree ornaments this year... what a wonderful therapy dog... take care and prayers to you and all in this New Year...

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 1/2/2010 9:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Dharma loved the snow too.  She loved to catch snowballs and have you throw it on her.  I wish I could put a pic of her on here but I don't know how.
 
I still have one dog, she is pittbull and australian cattle dog.  She is 13 years old and still going strong.  Her name is Chance.  I rescued her from my neighbors, they neglected her badly.  I finally took her.  I had three dogs at that time.  I hate when they die.  It is so sad, but I am excited about getting a new pup in March.
 
Great talking to you and reading your post.
 
Hugs, Karen
 
PS I am sorry that your SO is terminally ill.  If you would like to talk about it, feel free to start a thread and we can discuss this.  We are stealing Mythoughts thread, but I don't think he would mind.
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18760
   Posted 1/3/2010 2:21 AM (GMT -7)   
DHARMA.......BEAUTIFUL NAME, ESPECIALLY AS IT IS THE FIRST PRINCIPAL OF BUDDHISM. jamie. hoping you are well and good karen. cheers, jamie.
 
my thoughts, my love and compassion my friend, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


mythoughts
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 143
   Posted 1/9/2010 8:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, Karen, Jaimee and Sandi. I wish you all well.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 1/9/2010 9:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I hope all is well for you Mythoughts.  I am glad that you are touching base with us.  We all think so very much about you.  You are special to us.  So remember if there is anything that you would like to talk about, feel free.  Be it whatever.  Good things and bad things.  We are here for you no matter what.  HOw are your daughters?  I still think of you taking them to I think, dance classes.  That must of made you proud.  What kind of activities are they into now? 
 
Jamie, I thought that I responded to your post.  I wanted to thank you for what you said.  Hubby found a nice photo of her and put it in a frame for me today.   I love to be able to look at her, she was a beautiful dog.  But come the end of March, new puppy.  I will be all excited telling you about him.  I can't wait...
 
Take care you two.  Have good days.
 
Hugs, Karen 
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 5:17 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,355 posts in 301,205 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151325 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, artgal234.
337 Guest(s), 11 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
CrohnsPanda, desert bound, Wanda1225, Albannach, dismissed, Teamchris, holo100, Huddie, snowboat, LiveJoy, RachelAvila


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer