Post Edited By Moderator (boo~baby) : 12/19/2004 11:38:44 PM (GMT-7)
Thanks alot john for responding. I don't know the guy personally but I know he likes me and he is causing alot of stress in my life. I just can't take it anymore. I just wish I could drown myself. But I am a christian and I know I will not make it to heaven. It seems like everything in my life is bad luck. No matter what I do it always backfires on me. No matter whether its good deeds or intentions it always seems to turn out bad and backfire on me. But I am getting realy sick of it. I have been dealing with this sh88 for 7 years and I dont want it anymore. It seems like everyone hates me. My relationships never work out, my job is not working out, and my so-called friends seem to talk about me and lie about me. I am just ready to freakin end it all. I have had enough of this. Its not normal for a person to have all of this bad luck. Its not normal!!! Hear me john! Its not fair. I do so many dam8 good deeds for other people and guess what I get in return? Sh88 on. I am just so tired and just feel like giving everything up. I don't want to try to work no more, I dont want to be nice anymore, I dont want to make friends no more. I just want to give everything up and stay in a psycho ward so I can get some mind rest time away from this world. So I can regain my energy that has been lost over the years. To gain my confidence that has been lost over the years, to gain my slef-esteem that has been lost over the years. I am just so darn tired and I shouldnt be. I am only 25. My life has just started out. I really appreciate you all listening. I just need to vent. And I am going to find out if I can stay in a mental hospital for sometime. At least 6 months or more. I think I need it.
Well said Ralph !
(BTW, that's the first properly spelled post I've ever seen - are you dyslexic too ? )
Hope this neighbour doesn't give any more trouble DAL, if he abuses his girlfriend he might be the kind of guy who just dances on any sort of weakness he can see in a lady rather than protecting vulnerable women as should be; phoning the cops unnecessarily is on a par with that type of behaviour. The sort of guy who is really nice until you're "his" and then he won't let you out of his sight until he tires of hitting you...
I can see why you were annoyed at joeboot. I went to a rather notorious bar the other night, to a friend's leaving party, got chatting to a pretty girl... people who saw me with her the next day might have jumped to conclusions. But neither of us frequent that meat market, or do drugs, neither of us go out much (my second bar this year ! ) and although she came to see me next day, that's as far as it went. If a total stranger suggested otherwise to me, I'd ask, why do you assume the worst of me ?
But for all that I would not condone his assumptions or his approach, I can see where joeboot was coming from. (And for all his clumsiness, he did think you are "wonderful and beautiful" - so can he be all bad ? ) Once you start seeing all the bad things, and expecting them to happen to you, it is almost as if you are programming your life to work that way. Not that you want it to - just that the people around you do respond to your expectations of what is going to happen, and seeing the negative side of things makes it enormously hard to see any advantage to a situation, so you are not able to make lemonade out of the lemons.
The hardest thing I ever did was learn how to do circumstantial judo, and I'm afraid I can't even tell you how I learned. The hard way, knowing me !
I wish I could tell you how to get out of this hole you're in - I remember vividly what hell it was to feel that way, I remember the desperation and the awful dread of facing each new day - but all I can say is, life is a numbers game, at some point it has to improve even if only by chance !
Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 12/20/2004 9:48:20 AM (GMT-7)
I understand snohare. But joeboot does not have the right to be judging people when he doesnt know them. Thats why I cussed him out. You can't be an adult when you come to a depression chatroom and instead of people helping you, they are judging you. People who come here should have compassion and understanding for the other person or they shouldnt come here at all. He deserved every last cuss word. I don't take anything back. He should have thought about that before trying to judge me. Since I am getting negativity from joeboot instead of positivity, maybe I should just leave this chatroom. I don't find it to be helpful at all especially when he is sending messed up messages like that.