I thought things might be a little different this year i was hoping for a new change but it`s not shaping up that way .I have been in so much pain and have been unable to walk ,sleep nor do much of anything .
My left leg became so swollen and the pain was so unbearable ,after seeing the dr he was at a loss as t what it was .Even having pathology tests failed to identify the problem .A CT scan was done but this only showed another problem totally different to what i already am going through .
Now i have to see a gynocologist to have surgery asap the abnormality they found on an ultra sound last year has become a little more than a small structure it has grown quite large in a few months .I just want this all to end i have had so much in the past few years .
My psychologist has been away for a couple of months and have no idea when she is returning again ,
My daughter who is expecting her first child asked me to care for it so she can return back to work now i have no idea if i will be able to even do that .As it is with the problems with my back and the amount of pain i`m in these days i really doubt i can ,I just don`t want to let her down nor miss out on my first grandchild .
My daughter who was living at home and causing so many problems moved out but still the problems remain .Now every time we leave the house we have to lock it up and put rods in the windows so she does not break in again .So many things have dissappeared from home since she left ,we know it is her as she has left things behing of hers .I just worry so much as to whats going to happen .My hubby told me that what ever happpens now is not our problem he told me we taught them right from wrong and what ever they do it`s on them not us .But as a mother i just can`t walk away that easy ,they are my kids and a big part of me .He didn`t have that much to do with them when they were little it was always left up to me .One day he told me it was my fault how they turn out as i was the one with them all the time .The trouble is i should of told him then and there what i felt but i just don`t have the guts to even talk back to him .
It`s become so hot here we are experiencing a heat wave even the air conditioner has little effect trying to stay comfortable in heat and oain isn`t very effective at the best of times .