Picking up the pieces....

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bw82
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 1/12/2010 6:06 AM (GMT -7)   
I have been depressed for about 2 years and only recently started to come out of it.  I am married with no children and me and my husband have been together for 11 years.  However, I have been in love with my best friend (also a woman) for 2 years and recently told her how I feel because I couldn't hold it in any longer.
 
It turned out that she feels the same way about me and we decided to start seeing each other. We want to be together but don't know how it will work.  We also don't want to lose our friendship.  Anyway, my problem is that after a few days of my friend and I being together, she told me that it wasn't going to work.  She had just split up with her partner and as well as feeling guilty about him, she said it would be much harder for us to split further down the line in case she met a guy.
 
My problem is that I am so heartbroken and want nothing more than to be with her, I am going insane because she's got her own problems and I dont want to stress her out with this.  We are both struggling with it and are even closer as friends but I will never love anybody as much as her and I really don't know what to do.
 
What makes it worse is that my uni work is suffering, I have my own business and my dog had serious surgery yesterday and nearly died.  I am so depressed, I think about  because I can't see a way out.  Also, with my feelings for my best friend, I have realised that I don't love my husband enough.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/12/2010 9:05:11 AM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 1/12/2010 9:10 AM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry that you are in this situation.  It is honestly baffleing me that you would fall in love with a woman after being married to the same man for 11 years.  Do you love him any less than you did?  Do you think that this could just be a passing phase?  Often when we don't feel loved by our husbands, we reach out to something else.  Just food for thought.  I hate to see you end such a relationship and then have the woman say that it isn't going to work.  But be realixitc about it.  She doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore, you need to respect that.  And go on with your life.
 
I am sorry about your dog.  I hope that he/she will be okay.  I am an animal loveer and I know that dogs can be great companions.  I recently lost mine and am getting a pup in March.  I am loking forward to that.  I really loved her and it still makes me cry to think that she is gone now.
 
I hope that you feel better soon.  I can see that this is really hard for you.  Please keep posting, hopefully we can help you figure something out.  Just realize that you aren't going to have a relationship with the other woman, are you still with your husband?  Have you talked to him about any of this? 
 
I hope that you keep posting and let us know what is going on.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


bw82
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 1/12/2010 11:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Hiya,
My hudband doesn't know about any of the stuff with my friend. He knows all about my other struggles. I started feeling this way because my friend and I got on really well and I couldn't ignore my feelings anymore. We are even closer as friends now but knowing that I cant tell anybody about it is killing me.

loveless
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 1/12/2010 11:07 AM (GMT -7)   
You should tell your husband. That's what they're there for. Things like that shouldn't be kept from a spouse.

bw82
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 1/12/2010 11:09 AM (GMT -7)   
I don't want to tell him because I'd lose him and I would most certainly end my life if that happened because I can't deal with losing two people and all the other crap I'm going through.

loveless
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 1/12/2010 11:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Is it easier to live with the lie then? I may not know much but I know that husband's are there to be supportive. Your husband is there to help you. Give him the benefit of the doubt and let him help you.
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