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getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 1/12/2010 10:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everybody,
 
This is such a difficult time of the year.  I just wondered if anybody has anything to share as how to get over the after holiday blues. 
 
I try going for walks, listening to music, and cleaning. 
 
Does anybody have any methods to stay above the depression?
 
Your posts are so much appreciated....
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 1/12/2010 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   
i have no idea myself karen. hoping for some good posts!! staying awake for 2 days is certainly not the answer-(me)!! have cleaned everything, walked everywhere. here for you, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


bikerchic
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 1/12/2010 2:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I too have a difficult time with the holidays. My counselor tells me I need to find something to look forward to. I have signed up to bike for a charity event this summer so I'll need to train for that. I'm planning a vacation this summer. I have to keep my mind busy, so I am also taking up reading again from magazines to books. I have also planned a couple of lunch and movie outings with a friend.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 1/12/2010 2:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bikerchic,
 
Welcome to the depression forum.  I have noticed that you posted a couple of times.  I am happy for that.  It sounds like you have a good plan for fighting off depression.  That is cool.  I am happy for you.  If you would like to start a thread about yourself feel welcome too.  We would all like to get to know you.
 
Best wishes for a wonderful day.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 1/12/2010 4:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear karen,
Im so sorry ur going through such a hard time with ur depression at this time. Im pretty much the same as Jamiee at the moment as im feeling really low too!!!  Maybe you need to talk to ur pdoc and try an ajustment on ur med's again as they dont seem to be helping you very much??? I know on one of ur other posts u said that u were going to have an increase,maybe thats the prob and it could be a simple adjustment for you. I honestly dont know what else to say other than keep ur chin-up and we all care very much about you,and i hate knowing that your suffering too. do you like music,excersise,reading,wlking ect???? I know that when we are feeling so low we dont want to walk or even read but it may help you a little. What about ur husband is he being supportive with you karen??? That's what we all need is SUPPORT!!!! I honestly hope ur feeling better real soon. It makes me sad to know that ur hurting and i do know how you are feeling.
Look after u and nobody else as u need all of ur strength to get through this tough time.
 
sincerley,
beverley   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS FOR U)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 
 
Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
 
  • Some folk's are wise and some are otherwise!!!!
  • The music is nothing if the audience is deaf!!!!

    For me it's a day at a time now,as I can no longer
    look to the future!!!! 
     
     
     
     
     
     


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40581
       Posted 1/12/2010 4:58 PM (GMT -7)   
    Thanks so much Beverly.
     
    I am actually feeling better today.  I wanted to start this thread for everybody who is having after holiday depression.  Though I was in a rough patch.  The doc did increase my meds and it helped already.  I am still slow going in the morning though with the fibromyalgia bothering me a lot with the cold weather.  But it is suppose to warm up so I am looking forward to that.  I think it is actually suppose to thaw some.  We are due for a mild winter, last year we had way too much snow. 
     
    I hope that you are feeling well, you said that you were a little down too.  I am sorry for that.  We will both have to take care of us.  Jamie too.  I hope that this brings you a wonderful day Beverly.
     
    Thanks for the wonderful supportive post.
     
    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18753
       Posted 1/12/2010 10:51 PM (GMT -7)   
    thx beverly and karen. support is key. hoping we all feel better soon. i feel totally jet-lagged!! jamie
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40581
       Posted 1/14/2010 10:38 PM (GMT -7)   
    Just bumping up to see if anybody has anything else to share with coping mechanisms that they use, we could all stand to hear some ideas.

    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    loveless
    New Member


    Date Joined Jan 2010
    Total Posts : 16
       Posted 1/14/2010 11:07 PM (GMT -7)   
    Baking is always a good one for me. Not stressed out baking for tons of people baking, but just baking because it's fun! Plus decorating cookies and cakes and things can be a really fun thing to do.

    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18753
       Posted 1/15/2010 3:32 AM (GMT -7)   
    poetry, study, and i enjoy solitaire. best 198!!! as you all know i
     
    love my heavy metal!! skull skull skull skull skull
     
    quite reflection is good, and one other thing is stretching. and or yoga. not too good at yoga albeit i stretch daily, we keep a lot of tension in our muscles, esp neck, shoulders and beleive it our buttocks!! jamie
     
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    CassandraLee
    Veteran Member


    Date Joined Feb 2003
    Total Posts : 844
       Posted 1/17/2010 2:35 PM (GMT -7)   
    The is the first year (and the first thing) that I can honestly say I do not have the "holdiay" blues.  During the past nine months which have been extremely stressful on me I made some long overdue emotional decisions.  First, I cut all ties with my ex-husbands family.  This has been a 20+ year connection that had rapidly gone down-hill over the past year and 1/2.  Second, I actually calmly discussed what I was and was not capable of doing with my parents this year: expressing quite clearly what my and my childrens needs were.  With that said, my Christmas time was enjoyable as everything was kept in perspective. And when the time was over I was okay with it.  No mixed emotions and that has kept away the holiday blues.  Unfortunately...i have a lot of other stressors and blues to deal with but I know I will be okay in this regard this year and other years to come.
     
    Also, I want to add that I bought my daughter who is 10 an Aerogrow for Christmas this year.  This is a device where we can grow herbs, tomato plants, beans and other vegetables hydroponically.  My daughter and I check and stare at our plants about 10-11 times per day.  Seeing these plants grow from seed has made us feel so good and is something so positive in our lives.  I would highly recommend this to all of you!
     
    Cass

    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40581
       Posted 1/17/2010 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
    Hi Cass,
     
    Yeah!!!  I am so happy for you.  I know that the seed catalogs are starting to come, we got a seed starting kit the other day and are anticipating planting some seeds soon. 
     
    I like thinking about spring.  Today the sun was out so it felt like it.  It is suppose to be warmer for a few more days, I am so happy for that. 
     
    I think it is cool that you got that for your daughter for Christmas.  I am sure you both are enjoying watching things grow.
     
    Best wishes
     
    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 1/17/2010 7:55 PM (GMT -7)   
    Dear Karen,
    How r u??? Feeling better as yet??? Sorry i haven't replied for a while and ur alway's in my thoughts "every day", it's just that i too am very depressed to the point that my daughter is back to her old self as in ringing me up and abusing me over the phone,like last week she sent me a msg saying that her partner was drunk and she was scared of him and that he had thrown his wedding ring away. Anyway i rang her straight away and when he answered he wasn't even drunk,infact it was Beccy that was off her face,she had 1/2 a cask of wine and a bottle of champagne and was totally smashed to the point that she was screaming at me,rantin and raving and calling me names,like what a terrible mother i am because i didn't stick up for her on the telephone and said that her kitten is more important than i am and i should go to  Hell!!!! Then she hung up on me and i tried to call her back but she turned off her phone. Then i get all these horrible messages from her. She said well youve lost ur daughter and gained a son???? then she sent another one saying  the world and you with it!!!!! Then the last one was "ur supposed to stick up for ur only child u selfish and F U!!! After the call and the horrible messages i was so hurt and angry that i went into my bedroom sobbing and i saw a needle and cotton that i had been using to fix a top so i grabbed the needle and started  and have made a real mess of them. I was so hurt and angry i didn't know what else to do so i hurt myself and still want to but i know that i cant as i will end up in the pshyc ward again and that's not going to happen EVER!!!!!!! Sorry for rambling Karen it's just as usual i have nobody to talk to and need to get this out of my screwed up head. Anyway it's been 1 week and i still havent heard anything from my daughter,until she need's food ect then she will contct me but i am not going to help her this time as she has drained me of my money and am flat broke and also i have been giving them heaps of my food shopping and other stuff that i buy for them. NEVER AGAIN AS ALL THEY R DOING IS USING ME TO THERE ADVANTAGE......... No more i cant cope with all of this as im not mentally strong enough either. What do i do Karen?? I just dont know anymore. I truly hope ur feeling better urself karen and as i said ur always in my thought's. 
     
    sincerly,
     
    beverley.  cry nono cry nono

    Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/18/2010 7:12:08 AM (GMT-7)


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18753
       Posted 1/17/2010 10:24 PM (GMT -7)   
    beverly, hey, are you ok. really worried mate. please seek some assistance. i am worried that you are going to lose it proper. keep safe, jamie.
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 1/18/2010 3:06 AM (GMT -7)   
    dear Jamiee,
    Hope ur doing well and not depressed anymore???  Thx for the reply and yes i think ur so right about me loosing it good and proper. My anger is getting way out of control to the point that im having bad thought's about me and also my father "i want him to suffer too" is that bad of me to even say that??? I just dont know how to feel anymore.
    And am also still trying to grieve the loss of my Aunt Pat and every nite when i go to bed all i see is her face and im hating it so much even though i miss her alot. i think im not far off ending up in the pshyc ward again to get some control of my exsistence???? ur in my thought's also.
     
    sincerley,
     
    beverley.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
    skull skull skull skull skull skull skull skull skull skull
    Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
    DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
    Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
     
  • Some folk's are wise and some are otherwise!!!!
  • The music is nothing if the audience is deaf!!!!

    For me it's a day at a time now,as I can no longer
    look to the future!!!! 
     
     
     
     
     
     


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40581
       Posted 1/18/2010 7:23 AM (GMT -7)   
    Beverly,
     
    Could you resist the temptation to answer the phone when she calls you?  I think it is time again to put some distance there.  She got what she wanted out of the wedding and is back to her old self.  She really needs some help.  But that is not your job.  I fear for the safety of Talhia.  But you have to take care of you you know.  You have to learn that when she is like that, she isn't in her own mind, but I know that it still hurts and that you care no matter what.  But take care of you now.  You are really doing much better and I would hate to see you slip. 
     
    What does your counselor say about all of this?  What does she recommend?  You need to talk to somebody and get this situation taken care of.  You are going to have to be strong and ignore her at times.  I know it is hard because the things she says hurts you.  That is so understandable.  But remember when she is like that, she isn't in her right mind. 
     
    Take care of you.  Keep working your job.  Set small goals for yourself and try to forget about her in your mind.  I know that you love her and will never actually forget, but try to push it back so that you aren't thinking of her so much.  Then it wont hurt so bad. 
     
    Talk to your counselor.  Get it all out and take advantage of that.  You are a wonderful person and don't deserver to be hurt in this way.  So breaking ties might be the thing to do.  And are you still thinking of moving out of your house?  Are you still looking for another place to live?  You need your space, and tranquility.  You need some rest from the family.
     
    I hope that things get better soon.  Your daughter is going to continue to hurt you until she herself grows up.  And I don't see that coming anytime soon.  She has to learn the hard way.  She will most likely get the same treatment from her daughter when she grows up.  Though I think Talhia will be a lot smarter than her and not into the drugs and alcohol.  She tries to hurt you so that she can blame somebody for her own actions.  IF you stop letting her hurt you, then she will have to deal with this on her own and she will realize taht she is the problem, not you.  So try to ignore her, I know that it is hard, but you can do it.
     
    I hope that you feel better soon.  Thank you for being so caring, I am doing a lot better now myself.  So don't worry about me, but the thoughts are so much appreciated.  You are a wonderful person.
     
    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 1/18/2010 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   
    dear karen,
    thx so much for ur wise words, it all makes so much sense in what ur saying but i just cant get it out of my head and am always wondering what is she up too now?? the way shes going she will be beck in gaol again,but for a long time as shes on a c.b.o. which is a community based order for 12mths and if she breaks that she goes straight to prison,no ifs but's of maybe's and that saddens me as i know im going to get that call real soon as shes just out of control. It just hurts so much as i feel like i dont have a child anymore,and it makes me feel so very empty. I know to that i have to look after Tahlia and she is also starting to show signs of p.t.s.d. she has been assessed by a child pshyc and she states that Tahlia is really suffering and it breaks my heart <3!!!!!! I have also just been told that my step-grandaughter Destiny has been taken up to Queensland to live with a foster family and that saddens me s i wont see her again and also i never got the chance to say goodbye to her. she's only 9yrs old,not fair for her either. What do u do in such horrible situation's besides falling apart??? I also am not going to answer my phone if my daughter calls as she is getting worse with her abuse towards me and now also my mother too,she's out of control and nobody wants anything to do with her anymore.
    they all hate her terribly and that's sad too. Again karen thx so much for helping me to cope. I truly hope and pray that ur feeling better than you were as u deserve all the happiness in the world.
     
    Sincerly,
     
    beverley cook.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
    Also thx Jamiee 2 for being there when i need it!!!!!!!!!!!
    ur both wonderful people and i wish you were my family as i know i would be loved unconditionally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    confused shakehead confused shakehead
    Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
    DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
    Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
     
  • Some folk's are wise and some are otherwise!!!!
  • The music is nothing if the audience is deaf!!!!

    For me it's a day at a time now,as I can no longer
    look to the future!!!! 
     
     
     
     
     
     


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40581
       Posted 1/18/2010 4:53 PM (GMT -7)   
    Hi Beverly,
     
    I am sorry to hear such circumstances of the children.  They are innocent and don't deserve to be going through what they are.  I think that the best thing you can do is try to be there for them. 
     
    Is there anyway that you could send Destiny a letter or a card to let her know that you care about her?  And be there for her, maybe you could write back and forth.  That would probably be a lifeline for her.  Is she your new son in law's child?  This is so sad, I can understand how it tears you apart.  But stay strong for them.  Try to be there for Tahlia too.  She sounds like she really needs you.
     
    Know that you can always come here for support.  We think you are a wonderful person and you mean the world to us.  But we want you to be happy too. 
     
    How is your job going?  Are you still cleaning for those people?  As I remember you had some pretty big jobs.  My best friend cleans too.  She makes pretty good money.  It always seems like she has money anyways.  So I know it is a good job to have.  I hope that yours is going well.  Do you have somebody that works with you?  Or do you do it alone?  I know that it is hard work.
     
    I have been a week off of work now.  Not sleeping as well as I was, I think that is because I am going to bed way too early.  When I was working, I always went to bed late.  And slept through until morning.  Now I wake up frequently and get up way too early for me.  I am use to sleeping in late.  But I will get my body use to this, but then it will probably be time to go back.  I am going back in the spring. 
     
    I know that your day is just beginning, I hope that it is a good one.  Mine is coming to an end.  I think you are a day ahead of me.  It is Monday night here.  Probably Tuesday morning where you are.  That is interesting. 
     
    You take care now, thank you for your well wishes.  I hope that all goes well for you today, and little Tahlia and Destiny.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
     
    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18753
       Posted 1/18/2010 8:41 PM (GMT -7)   
    beverly, do not worry about me. i am okay, just yo-yo-ing. see qwack fri, will see if he will increase the cymbalta. things will turn around sweetie, hold strong, karen has given you some excellent wisdom-that i totally agree with. you my dear need some peace and quiet, and some much needed rest. i am here for you. with compassion, jamie.
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 1/20/2010 4:39 AM (GMT -7)   
    well im darned if i do and am darned if i dont!!! I hate life it sucks beyond comprehension and i would like to go to sleep and stay that way!!!!!!!! i cant win no matter what i do or say so just give up???
    what else is there to do someone tell me why i shouldn't go away and just dissapear and if i did nobody would even miss me as they all hate me anyway.  cry mad cry mad skull skull skull skull skull skull skull skull skull skull skull skull skull skull
    Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
    DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
    Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
     
  • Some folk's are wise and some are otherwise!!!!
  • The music is nothing if the audience is deaf!!!!

    For me it's a day at a time now,as I can no longer
    look to the future!!!! 
     
     
     
     
     
     


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40581
       Posted 1/20/2010 8:04 AM (GMT -7)   
    Hi Beverly,
     
    What is going on?  Is it your family again?  You know you need to distance yourself from this terrible treatment.  You have endured quite enough. 
     
    Let us know what is going on, we are here to listen.  Don't listen to a word that they say anymore.  You know that they only want to get you down.  And you have had enough of that.  It is time to move on my friend.  Think seriously about this.
     
    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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