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bernie'10
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 1/19/2010 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
I was talking with one of my friends today.  As i was really listening to her talk about her night last night the conversation unexpectedly turned to something far worse than just a bad night.   a bad life.  
 
As we started getting into detail about each others life i found out she is exactly like me.  We are both going through depression, and even though we may have different degrees we match up in a lot of places. 
 
I wanted to know how i can help her when i myself am hurting and just trying to make it through.  But i feel i MUST help her....
 
Suggestions???????idea
 
"Sometimes you just want to know there's someone else in this wide world besides you"
 
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40579
   Posted 1/19/2010 3:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bernie,
 
I think that the best thing that you could do is support her and try to get her to get help for herself through her doctor or counseling.  Other than that, there really isn't anything that you can do.  I find that helping and encouraging others helps me to take my mind off of my own problems.  I hope that this helps you some.
 
Maybe you could take walks together, that always helps me to feel better and spend quality time with friends. 
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/19/2010 6:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi bernie,

The best thing you can do is try to get better yourself, and keep talking to her. Both of you need friends now more than ever. She's lucky to have you.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18753
   Posted 1/20/2010 1:39 AM (GMT -7)   
yes look after you. see your doc. try to not be too intense with your friend, although a problem shared is a problem halved. as long as you are both giving and receiving, then this is true compassion, and will aid you both, albeit do not try to fix your friend. listen and hear. hope she does likewise. good on you for helping your friend. depression is a medical condition-and alike others have said try to get her to the doc and or therapy. yourself, likewise. my kindness and compassion to you both, jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


bernie'10
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 1/20/2010 11:27 AM (GMT -7)   
thanx, i find that helping somone is taking my mind off of myself, which helps and hurts me.....

it helps bcuz i think about other peoples problems more than my own.

it hurts me bcuz i am now thinking of their problems. but i thouroughly enjoy helping someone else when i clearly can't help me. lol

i am feeling somewhat happy today, if i correctly remember the meaning of it........
 
"Sometimes you just want to know there's someone else in this wide world besides you"
 
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40579
   Posted 1/20/2010 11:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bernie,
 
There is a term for helping others without becoming emotionally wrapped up in it.  That is called "empathy".  It is a good thing to practice.  You just have to tell yourself that you did the best that you could and every little bit helps.  But try not to get emotionally involved to the point that it depresses you.  Know that you did the best that you could. 
 
This time of the year is so difficult, I think of it as the depression time of the year.  I don't know why it is like that.  I know that the days are starting to get longer, but it is like there is a lull after the holidays that we get sucked into and it makes us feel down.  Try to remember that spring is just around the corner and things will get better.  The sun is shining here today.  I am thinking about going for a walk.  That would help me to feel better.  I have the sun shining on my face right now.   I try not to complain about it being in my eyes.   We see it so seldom right now. 
 
I hope that you are feeling well, I am glad that you are having a better day today.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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