Welcome to the depression forum. You have come to a good place to get your feelings out and get feedback.
Have you thought about counseling or seeing your doctor? That would be the place to start. And we all have to start somewhere. Another thing you could consider is grief counseling. Grief can really stop us in our tracks, but it sounds like you have had the depression even before your father died, but I imagine that it is adding to the depression. Remember there is no time limit on grief and no right or wrong where it is concerned.
As far as talking to your partner, it doesn't sound like she is too consoling, but she just might not know what to say. But I would try to keep the doors of communication open and keep trying to talk things out.
Talking to your doctor would probably be the first step. He/she could direct you in the way to go with this situation. And I think that counseling would be a good start for you.
Also here are a couple of sites that might help you.
I hope taht this helps you some.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies