Still hanging in there.

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Cowboy up
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 1/25/2010 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   
I havent been on in a long time but just wantede to post an update . It's been about a year of the toughest battle of my life . My wife is done with school now. She has actually had about 4 counciling sessions 4 weeks in a row. I still cant hug or kiss my wife but I am just trying to be strong and patient . It took 6months for her to get into counciling and after 4 sessions in last week of sept . her therapist was killed in a head on collision . It took us 2 and a half months for her to to get a new therapist so I am just hoping that things will get better. She is content with just being married and not having a physical relationship but I dont know how long I can last like this. Its not like we dont spend time together because she loves me and our son to spend time going to the mall , or to a drive inn together. She is actually joking around now which I didnt see for a very long time .Wll keep me in your prayers and any advice id appreciated.Thanks Tony

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/25/2010 11:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Tony...am darn happy you posted and sounds like things are getting better for the 2 of you...as for the physical side i would think that too will happen it just is taking a lil longer...baby steps ya know but at least steps are being taken..again happy for you keep us posted k ...n cowboy up...lyn
                          
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
 
                        I DONT COMPLAIN...OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN I AM                                   
                                                     2010       
                                Donate to www.healingwell.com.
                        HW FRIENDS N FAMILY TRULY DO UNDERSTAND                                                 
                                      Lyn..........AKA...........Howlyncat             
                  
                                                                                           


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 1/25/2010 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cowboy up,
 
I agree with Lyn, these things take time.  I am glad that you have stuck by her through all of this.  It will pay off in the end.   She really loves you and you love her and that is what matters.
 
Best wishes to you.  I hope things continue to improve.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Cowboy up
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 1/25/2010 11:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you both for your responses . Karen its still hard because I really love her but never hear those words back . The one thing I have noticed when we walk next to each other I do feel she is walking closer to me . It sounds silly but I can feel her being closer to me then lets say 2 monhs ago. I really do want to beleive she still loves me.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 1/25/2010 12:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Cowboy up,
 
I really think that she does.  You would know if she felt otherwise.  And it sounds like you are growing closer.  I know that this is hard for you, but, hang in there.  Things will continue to get better as the days go by.
 
Best wishes,
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/25/2010 5:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I can remember thinking that hubby was ashamed or was afraid to be close to me when we were walking or sitting watching tv together..i had felt he had drifted away from me ...finally i could not take the feeling that gave off to me and i came right out and asked him about it and we found that we both were feeling quite the same but we were stuck in a rut and forgotten how to talk to each other...it sounds like things are finally getting better..will keep you in thoughts n prayers and plz do keep us posted on how it is going..all the best...lyn
                          
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
 
                        I DONT COMPLAIN...OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN I AM                                   
                                                     2010       
                                Donate to www.healingwell.com.
                        HW FRIENDS N FAMILY TRULY DO UNDERSTAND                                                 
                                      Lyn..........AKA...........Howlyncat             
                  
                                                                                           


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 1/26/2010 1:04 AM (GMT -7)   
sounds like there is positive movement tony, yeah hang in there! condolences for the therapist who passed. with compassion, here for you. i hope you stay with us for a bit. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


Cowboy up
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 1/26/2010 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Jamie thanks ,it was unbeleiveable when her first terapist quit last june before her first appointment ,after waiting 3 months and then her grandmother passing away when she was schedueled for her next appointment . Then she has 3 sessions and her terapist gets killed in a car accident. She is now back in a regular program , she finished school with the 4.0 she was trying to get and I pray that our relationship will grow to what it once was. Sometimes I wonder if its possible but other times I beleive it will be better because my eyes are opened to how I could have been a better husband.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 1/27/2010 1:51 AM (GMT -7)   
good. looking at the situation with fresh eyes definately helps. some positive movements forward for you both. keep focused and positive, with loving compassion, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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