Could my Father be chronically depressed or have Bi_polar!!!!!!!!!!!!

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damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 1/26/2010 8:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello it's been a little while but need some advice please?? I suffer from chronic depression,bi-polar11 and a panic disorder and am not coping with my life whatsoever to the point that i'm ?? But I need some advice in regard's to my Father.
Well here i go. Over the last 2 weeks my father hasn't spoken a word to me,my mother or anyone else for that matter!! Then yesterday I was watching his behaviour very closely and all he does is either sit in his chair and stares at the t.v. or he starts cleaning anything and everything and i am seriously wondering if he too could be depressed or even have bi-polar aswell and when I look back at my whole childhood with my Father's very abusive way's ive come to think that he too suffers from mental illness but is doing nothing about it?? I dont get along with him and never have and he has alway's been against me because i suffer MENTAL ILLNESS and am just an idiot and a complete looser in his eye's and im hating it more and more of late. I keep asking my mum to ask him what on earth is wrong with him or does he have some other kind of illness that he's not telling us about. Im so very confused as it's hurting me so much but also my mother is suffering at the hand's of what i class as a very horrible so called husband and father??? Im very manic myself at this time and my mind is just racing with terrible thought"s and i just dont know what to feel anymore? The worst part of all of this is that i live under the same roof as him and it's like tredding on eggshells everyday and when i do say goodmorning or anything he just looks at me with such hatred and i dont know why?  Can anyone help me with some advice in regard's to him and his very odd behaviour please as i can no longer take anymore hurt and norcan my mother as it's really effecting her too.
 
sincerly,
 
beverley-VERY CONFUSED TO SAY THE LEAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
eyes rolleyes eyes rolleyes eyes rolleyes eyes rolleyes

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/27/2010 9:27:19 AM (GMT-7)


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18761
   Posted 1/27/2010 2:28 AM (GMT -7)   
beverly, maybe the silent treatment. maybe just withdrawing and doing the silent treatment, and on top of it all i think he does not five a.........would he seek treatment if he was depressed? does he care? i mean about his on health and well-being? anyway you need out. let him sort out his own stuff; yeah i get it is taking a toll on your mother, maybe get some info, brochures on depression and bi-polar-stick em on the table or something. with compassion, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 1/27/2010 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Beverly,
 
Your father is a very hateful man.  He probably is suffering from depression or some other mental illness.  Otherwise he wouldn't be the way that he is.  But it is you I am concerned about.  You have to continue to work on you.  Once you get better, his actions wont bother you so much.  and you will most likely decide to move out.  It is a lot to deal with I know, but he has to take care of his problems, and by the sound of it, he probably will continue to live in his own misery for the rest of his life.  It is sad I know, but each of us are responsible for our own health.  so he is responsible for his.  You can do as Jamie says, get some brochures and give to your mother.  And your mother has to deal with her own problems too.   Iknow that you want to fix this, but it is not your responsiblity.  Your only responsibility is to your own well being.  So try to overlook his behavior and take care of you.  I have heard you say that to so many others and it is good advice.  Take care of YOU.  I dont' think talking to your father about it will help much.  He probably wont listen anyway.  If he did, it would be a miracle.  You are a good person Bev, and you care about others.  but start caring about yourself and get the heck out of there where you will be happy.  You deserve to have some peace and tranquility. 
 
I hope that this helps some.  I am not the best to give advice on this.  But I feel your pain and I want you to be happy.  You have lived with his bitterness long enough and you deserve to be in a better place. 
 
Take care of you.  Be strong for the babies.  You are getting bad treatment from both your parents and your daughter, and it is time for YOU to be HAPPY.
 
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18761
   Posted 1/27/2010 9:40 AM (GMT -7)   
YES TO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH LOVING COMPASSION, JAMIE.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 1/27/2010 7:57 PM (GMT -7)   
hello Karen and Jamiee thankyou so much for being here for me as alway's. You too are the most supportive people ive ever known,even though its on the internet. I just feel a connection,it'svery hard to explaine. You are so correct about my Father and the other's as all they care about is themselve's and really dont give a flying toss about me and never will either. I just need to know if my father has some kind of illness or is just an arrogant pig and a selfish one at that. Im at the point that i need to stop worrying about all my family and take care of me for a change as it's just making me sicker and sicker both physically and mentally. Again im at the point where i know i need a hospital stay for a bit but i cant as i need to work and earn my money to try and get out of here as it's a living hell all of the time!!!!!!! I think ur both so correct about my family it's so sad that people can be that way and treat people so horrible but I also hate the constant silence in this house as if i didn't try and speak nobody would. It alway's comes down to Bev,well no more as you both have said it's there problem and not mine. And as with my daughter it's pretty much the same as ive had enough of being used and abused all the time it's just killing me literally. I can only take so much before i completely loose it.
I will take both of ur advise and start looking out for me and me only. And the tears are starting again........
 
thankyou both so very much....
 
sincerly,
 
damaged for good!!!!!!!!   cry cry shakehead shakehead cry
Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
 
  • Some folk's are wise and some are otherwise!!!!
  • The music is nothing if the audience is deaf!!!!

    For me it's a day at a time now,as I can no longer
    look to the future!!!! 
     
     
     
     
     
     


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40590
       Posted 1/27/2010 9:16 PM (GMT -7)   
    Good for you Beverly!!!
     
    I know that this isn't going to be easy for you.  They will be nice one day and your'e going to wonder if you should stay, but remind yourself of how it usually is and don't give into it.  It will be hard because you truly care about them, worry about them and wonder how they are going to make it.  But that is not your responsibility.  Your responsibility is to yourself.  And right now that is all that matters.  You getting out of there and doing better.  And you will do better on your own.  Or even if you have to share a home with somebody else, it will still be easier than living with your parents.  So know that we are behind you, pushing you on.  And will always be there for support.  So start looking, you don't even have to tell them you are looking.  Just do it.  And even if the place sin't all that nice, it will be a step up from what you are going through.  Who knows, maybe your daughter will act different without them around.  But that is another story all together.  You need space from her to for a while. 
     
    Once you get out on your own, your thinking will clear.  You will get used to the new you, and they wont bother you so much because you will be able to see them for who they really are.  They are human beings yes, but not very nice ones.  But once you leave, they will probably be a lot easier to get along with.  But I recommend a seperation from them for a while so that you can move ahead without them interfering. 
     
    So this is a good first step forward.  Look for a roommate if you have to in the beginning to make it easier to make ends meet.  But make sure it is a nice person that you will be albe get along with.  That is if you need a roommate.  You might find something that you can rent that you wont have to have help.  And being out on your own will make you more eligable for help from the government.  Maybe some help with rent, or improvements of food.  Either way, this could be a win win situation.  It all depends on how you look at it.
     
    You can do this Beverly.  And we are behind you all the way.
     
    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 1/30/2010 6:37 PM (GMT -7)   
    cry ear Karen,
     
    I hope ur well u sweet,kindhearted lady?????? Thx for ur reply.
    Yes your correct in everyway and i know that i have to get out of here very soon as if i dont im going to snap as im feeling the anger build up and it's really scaring me alot!!! The only reason that im still here is because i cant find anywhere that's cheap enough for me as im struggaling financially at this time. One of my big jobs that i do stopped for the school holidays and i wont be starting for another week or two so im strapped for cash.
    As soon as i can get on my feet again im out of here never to return and my father,sister ect!!! will never see me again as ive had enough of there abuse towards me as it's turning me into a nervous wreck literally. Im very sad about it all as they just dont want to try and talk and work things out with me and that hurts so very much to know how much im hated,but for what and why is the big question that constantly runs around my head day in and day out. Im tired and have had enough. Also Jamiee has put me onto  couple of places for some respite and im going to ring tem in the morning to find out if im eligable to do so as i need some time out for me for a change. I dont care if it costs me my whole pension as things are spiralling out of control and i cant take it any longer.
    Anyway enough about me how are you going Karen as ur alway's there for everyone else but it anyone therefor you when you need a shoulder to cry on??? I certainly hope other's are there for you so that you can also unload ur stuff that ur going through??? If you ever need to chat you have my email and please dont hesitate to contact me ok because you also deserve to be happy like everyone else in this world.
    How is ur job going?? Are you very busy with it. Also i was reading a post and you were saying about ur fibro playing you up?? Are you reeling alright with that???? If i can help in anyway just let me know and i will be there for you no matter what Karen as ur alway's there for me and give me so much encouragement and i thankyou from the bottom of my heart.
     
    tears starting again.
     
    Sincerley,
     
    beverley.cry cry shakehead
    Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
    DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
    Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
    Strive to be a success but rather to be of value!!!!!!!
     
    Dont count the day's,make the day's count!!!!!!
     
    No more revenge now;I will think upon revenge!!!!
  • I dont knowthe key to success,but the key to failure

    is trying to please everybody!!!!!!!!!!!

    Life becomes harder for us, when we live life for others!!!

    Without music, life would be a mistake!!!!!!!!!

    Im not young enough to know everything!!!!!!!!

     

     
     
     
     
     
     
     


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 1/30/2010 6:54 PM (GMT -7)   
                            WHATEVER YOU GIVE A WOMAN!!!!!!!!
     
    WHATEVER YOU GIVE A WOMAN,SHE WILL MAKE GREATER.
    GIVE HER SPERM,SHE WILL MAKE YOU A BABY.
    GIVE HER A HOUSE,SHE WILL MAKE IT A HOME.
    GIVE HER GROCERIES,SHE WILL MAKE YOU A MEAL.
    GIVE HER A SMILE,SHE WILL GIVE YOU HER HEART.
    SHE MULTIPLIES AND ENLARGES WHAT SHE IS GIVEN.
    SO IF YOU GIVE HER ANY CRAP,SHE WILL GIVE YOU A TON OF crap!!!!
    IF YOU AGREE PASS THIS ON..........
     
    BEVERLEY......idea idea idea idea
    Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
    DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
    Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
    Strive to be a success but rather to be of value!!!!!!!
     
    Dont count the day's,make the day's count!!!!!!
     
    No more revenge now;I will think upon revenge!!!!
  • I dont knowthe key to success,but the key to failure

    is trying to please everybody!!!!!!!!!!!

    Life becomes harder for us, when we live life for others!!!

    Without music, life would be a mistake!!!!!!!!!

    Im not young enough to know everything!!!!!!!!

     

     
     
     
     
     
     
     


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40590
       Posted 1/30/2010 8:00 PM (GMT -7)   
    Aw Beverly,
     
    You are so sweet.  I appreciate your concern so much.  It is nice to know that I have all of you to support me when I need it.  I think we have a pretty good group of members here.  It is the best forum that there is. 
     
    I am glad that you are working on things to be better and easier for you.  You need that.  You deserve to be happy.  That is for sure.  I guess you could question why your family is the way that they are to you.  But that may go unknown.  I think that they just aren't happy and they would take it out on who ever they can.  Who ever is there at the time.  They are just miserable inside them selves.  There is nothing that you can do about it.  They will have to work it out for themselves as you move on. 
     
    I hope that you are feeling better and can keep your stress down to a mininum.  Stress doesn't help anything.  It just makes the depression worse.  So try to stay relaxed and happy.
     
    Best wishes for a wonderful day/night
     
    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18761
       Posted 1/30/2010 11:45 PM (GMT -7)   
    beverly, i will print it off, i know a few people who need to read it!!! with compassion, jamie. good luck - i hope you can gain some respite. i think i need some toooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jamie.
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 1/31/2010 12:28 AM (GMT -7)   
    hEY Jamiee, Hope ur well. Thx for ur reply and also all the information you gave me regarding some respite. I have looked into two places today but the one in East Malvern is sooo expensive,it's $100 per day or $575 for 1 week this is for a single room,ensuite,t.v. all meals and you can stay for up to a month?? It sounds wonderful but i just cant afford all of that at this time so that's that for me as the only option i have is a hospital and i wont go there as last time i was in 12mths ago nearly to the day i was assaulted by another patient and am to scared to go back again as it's done my head in and i know that i wouldn't cope at all. So back to square one again. Im determined to find somewhere to go it's just a matter of doing some intense searches on the net!!! I really hope that ur doing well too Jamiee as u also deserve all the happiness in the world!! Ur in my thought's. thankyou so much.
     
    sincerley,
     
    Beverley...... glad you liked my quotation!!!!! and yes some people do need to read it!!!!!
    Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
    DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
    Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
    Strive to be a success but rather to be of value!!!!!!!
     
    Dont count the day's,make the day's count!!!!!!
     
    No more revenge now;I will think upon revenge!!!!
  • I dont knowthe key to success,but the key to failure

    is trying to please everybody!!!!!!!!!!!

    Life becomes harder for us, when we live life for others!!!

    Without music, life would be a mistake!!!!!!!!!

    Im not young enough to know everything!!!!!!!!

     

     
     
     
     
     
     
     


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18761
       Posted 1/31/2010 12:49 AM (GMT -7)   
    good luck with your searches. hard to find as they are never listed. another source of info is the mental illness fellowship of victoria. check them out. jamie.
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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