Welcome to healing well and the depression forum. First of all, I am very sorry to hear about your mom, this is a huge loss. There is no time limit on grief, so what you are doing is normal for you. So don't feel bad about grieving. Do what you need to do.
But I would recommend grief counseling. I think that would help you to move on. I think your mom would have wanted that.
Work is scarce, and I would keep in contact with places that I applied to. That lets them know that you are interested, so don't give up. Keep trying. And remember that we are now behind you.
Don't feel bad about the traveling that you did. I am sure that is what she wanted for you to do. You still have fond memories of her that you can think about. Keep her in your heart, but try to move on. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and I think you can be very successful if you are able to put your mind to it. So try to focus on things and use your education to the best that you can.
Getting counseling will help you to acheive things. It will help you to move forward and accomplish goals. So maybe talk to your doctor and get an appointment with a good counselor. And start your healing journey.
Best wishes, keep posting.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies