New to this all... my mum died last year.....?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

missmymum
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/1/2010 5:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi I'm new to this so not sure what to expect or do. My mum died on her 48th birthday last september of breast cancer, I nursed her til the end. In the past couple of months I have been feeling really down, turning to food for comfort eating, crying uncontrollably. I now live in my mothers house until we sell it, with my partner and our two year old little boy, I can't stand living in this house it seems to make me feel worse. I have terrible mood sings and my poor partner is the one who has to deal with it, I feel constantly tired, slepp ok sometimes but still feel completely knackered anyway. Somedays I could just sit and stair at the blank wall, if I didn't have my son I would just spend all day in bed. I don't know what to do, I want to stop feeling like this, it's horrible but I don't want to go and have counselling, I tried it but found it hard talking about it with her face to face was wondering if anyone here could help me? Thanks

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 2/1/2010 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Missmymum,
 
If you don't want to go to counseling, try going to your family doctor and let them know what is going on.  You may need medication.  But I want you to know that counseling really does help.  I go monthly.  And many of us also go.  It makes a world of difference.
 
I am sorry that you are struggling so.  Life is hard sometimes, but it does get better.  I hope that you can realize that.  There are just bumps in the road that we have to go over, then it smooths out.
 
Please keep posting and know that we are here for you.
 
Hugs, Karen

PS, sorry to hear about your mom.  Grief is a funny animal.  There is no set time or way.  It is all within the individual.  You could still be grieving.  Grief counseling would really help you.  And know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.  Embrace it, feel it, and then move on.  But like I say, there is no set time, so you could still be grieving her and that is okay.


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
   Posted 2/1/2010 9:48 AM (GMT -7)   
hi, first off let me say im sorry about your mom passing. i, too, just recently lost my mom to hep c and cirrhosis or should i say complications to it.

first i think living in that house sounds like a bad idea at this point as it may be fueling the depression. i know this saying is overrated and some say may not be helpful but for me it was. she is no longer in pain anymore and you need to remind yourself about that. think about what she w ould want for you. she wouldnt want you to be depressed. now in retrospect i know that is easier said than done and you may be still grieving and that is understandable but now you need to find a way to pull yourself from the depression. counseling does help and i strongly reccomend it. another is get up and celebrate your moms life, it may help i know it did for me. this past january was my first year on my moms birthday without her and i turned on some music, and dance and sang to my moms urn( i know stupid eh) but you know i didnt get depressed and i felt great, actually made me feel as if my mom was there.

you have a right to be depressed but you need to deal with this grief for your son and your spouse. i know it is hard and i know about depression as my hubby had it and my mom and my grandma. i am no way saying that it is wrong to feel such a way either i am just trying to help you and i hope you see that.
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18766
   Posted 2/2/2010 12:30 AM (GMT -7)   
my compassionate condolences over your loss. time for a chat with you doctor. with kindness, jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


megie
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 2/3/2010 7:53 PM (GMT -7)   
 i lost my mom 9 days ago , dont know what i feel , am sad for sure , cant pick up the phone every sunday and call her .... life sucks right now .....have to be strong for my son and other family members ...but sometimes , i dont wanna be strong one ...cause i am not strong right now....i need to drive out to desert and scream and cry ...i keep everything inside..ppl ask how ya doing ? .. i say OK....cant they tell i am not OK ??? should i tell them I am not OK ??? Sorry for unloading , dont post much , but am always here.....cause i dont know how to share my feelings i guess....anyway thanks for listening , hugs annie
     You can only change what you can control , you can't change what you can't control .


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 2/3/2010 8:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Annie,

Do you have a therapist that you can talk to and let things out? You can always come here. We are here for you. But I talk to a therapist about things that I can't talk to anybody else about. It really helps.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


megie
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 2/4/2010 8:20 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you Karen , i feel like we are old friends , evn tho i dont post much , you give such great advise and comfort to those who need it ....i dont talk much to ppl about my private life , dont have a therapist ...i dont want one .....have trouble even posting , even when i know i can share something with someone ....like i said i just need to go out to desert , cause i live in one.......i just dont know how to mourn , idk ....just have to be strong for my family , and i am the baby , lol ...go figurerolleyes  lol i will be ok ....hugs annie
     You can only change what you can control , you can't change what you can't control .


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 2/4/2010 8:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Annie,

There is no right or wrong way to mourn, so you are doing what is right for you and that is okay. If it takes time, it takes time. Just be good to yourself and you will get through it. Be you, and be true to you. The rest will fall into place. Believe me, when my first husband died of lung cancer in 2000. I didn't think I would be able to go on, but after a long time of grieving, I was able to make it. Take life one day at a time. Try to live in the moment. But if you find yourself thinking of your mom, that is okay too. Embrace the moments. Cry if you have to. There is no set time limit on this. Let it out and you will feel better.

I do hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18766
   Posted 2/6/2010 8:55 PM (GMT -7)   
annie, my sincere condolences over your loss. my heartfelt compassion to you. am here for you. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, December 08, 2016 11:03 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,179 posts in 301,280 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151384 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Effieadler009.
244 Guest(s), 9 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Mews2much, bluelyme, NM12, Scaredy Cat, Girlie, Jaybee&GG, Kvo, Broncofan18, julymorning


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer