my husband and i just found out that he has another child!!!!!

should i STAY OR SHOULD I LEAVE HIM?
3
STAY - 37.5%
0
LEAVE - 0.0%
4
TAKE SOME TIME OFF - 50.0%
0
HATE HIM FOR IT - 0.0%
1
STAY FOR A TIME AND THEN LEAVE - 12.5%
0
U DONT KNOW WHAT SHOULD I DO - 0.0%

 
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kiss
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/1/2010 11:20 AM (GMT -7)   
ok heres the catch i know my husband for 8 years i been with him for 2 years and marrried for almost 3 month, now the thing is that i have a child that isnt his and he has 3 kids from 3 different mothers i tooked him then we just got married on oct 9 2009 and yesterday january 31 2010 we found out that there is another woman he had dated before me and she has a kid from him the little girl is amost 9 years old im depress because i dont know what to do if i should stay and should i go the little girl lives in florida and we live in ny so in order to see her he will have to go and see her in florida which that means that i will have to stay here with my daughter and his older child that he has custody off im affraid that he will do something stupid we was talking about it and he tells me that he dont blame me if i leav him because i shouldnt have to go thru this i dnt want to deal with another kid with another mother so that means that he has 4 kids from 4 different mother ohh and theres a posssibility that he has another one with another woman but the woman dont want him to see the kid so i dnt know please give some advice. hes35 years old and im 22 years old what should i do thank you you guys for taking your time and helping me out i appreciate it......

worriedgirl
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 1130
   Posted 2/1/2010 11:35 AM (GMT -7)   
if he didnt cheat on you then maybe you guys can work things out. it will take a lot of work but it can work. he dont have to go to florida the child can come to him. it all depends on the trust level
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40569
   Posted 2/1/2010 11:51 AM (GMT -7)   
What makes you think that you can't go with your child too down to see his daughter? I wouldn't act too fast. Take this one day at a time. As was posted above by Worriedgirl, this happened before you two met so I wouldn't worry too much about it, the little girl is innocent in this and does have a right to meet her father. Like I say, one day at a time, don't jump to any conclusions. Neither of you knew about this and it is something new to deal with. You will be fine, who knows, you and the little girl might end up having a good relationship.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
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Lucious
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 2/1/2010 4:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Kiss it appears previously"papa was a rolling stone" but dont hold that against him if he retired his guns when he married u. First u must ask yourself do u really love him and enjoy his company and vice versa. If your marriage is salvagable than save. Dont look for a magic answer...search your own heart and come up with an answer u can live with. I agree with the moderator why cant u go with your husband to see his daughter....he's not a player anymore he is married to u and the decisions u make and the things u do should be done as a family......also put god in your life..."a family who prayers together...stays together"

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18746
   Posted 2/1/2010 11:47 PM (GMT -7)   
one day at a time. keep talking to each other, things may work out alright. your instincts will let you know, albeit i agree with the others to give it some time first. with compassion, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
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medic6012
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 2/2/2010 3:47 PM (GMT -7)   
i agree with lucious dont judge him for what he did before yall got together judge him for what he is now

damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 2/3/2010 4:17 AM (GMT -7)   
hello I too agree with Lucious. As you have said in ur post that all of this happened before you were with him so it's very hard to judge a person just by this. I think some councelling for the both of you would surfice as it's not worth throwing those couple of years away just for that reason. Yes it must be very hard to deal with but nobody should be punished for bringing an innocent child into this world. Please dont let this innocent child be made to suffer. thanks hope it all works out for the child's sake.
 
sincerley,
 
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    mommy2000
    New Member


    Date Joined Apr 2011
    Total Posts : 1
       Posted 4/21/2011 8:29 AM (GMT -7)   
    I am in a similar situation. we just found out that my husband has another child only we were together and his son is 2 months older than our daughter. it was a few months before we got marrie.11 years ago he cheated on me. we just found out about the child. I have a lot of emotions and am not really sure what to do. we (he and I and our 3 daughters) are going to go meet the boy this weekend. I was wondering of you have any advice and could tell me how your situation turned out.

    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40569
       Posted 4/21/2011 9:17 AM (GMT -7)   
    Hi Mommy2000,

    Keep the best interest of the child in mind. I think that this will work out. This thread is old, so I don't know if the person is going to reply or not. Do what is right for the child and you can't go wrong. Take it one day at a time. The child is innocent, keep that in mind.

    Love conquers all.

    Hugs, Karen
    Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

    youngmil
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Apr 2011
    Total Posts : 51
       Posted 4/21/2011 8:43 PM (GMT -7)   
    This is a tough decision, not an easy one to answer. But I must be honest, he's carrying a lot of history and that brings with it a lot of responsibility, challenging issues and careful planning. Your very young and have a world of choices, weigh each carefully. Pray sincerely, use wisdom concerning your future.

    Best,
    TY
    TY
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