im getting sick and tired if it....

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jennjenn2010
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/7/2010 6:02 PM (GMT -7)   
5 years. 5 years ive been dealing with this crap and i cant take anymore. I cant stand "major depressive disorder" more than i could "Bipolar" "PTSD", or any of the other false diagnoses doctors have given me.

I am home alone, and at my wits end. Depression, as you all know, takes over the mind in such ways that make it unbearable to see the good in things.

yet i see the good, and want none of it- it does not appeal to me.

am i making any sense? probably not.

I was recently taken off all my medications but 1... (well, 2 are also being decreased as we speak... they will be gone soon.)
I am not sure this is working.

I am extremely suicidal.

and im sure so many of you have heard this, so many of you have felt this way. and you dont know me, or even know of me.... but i really need help. my therapist told me to stay out of the hospital since i just got out of one.... but i have my phone next to me ready to dial 911... im scared.

thankfully... the pills are locked up.

still...

can someone offer advice? anything? anyone? sad

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 2/7/2010 7:02:56 PM (GMT-7)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/7/2010 7:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Jenn,

First let me provide you with some crisis information:

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Hang in there, it WILL get better. Many of us have been there, and have gotten through it, just as you have, and will do again. Do you have your therapist's emergency number handy? Keep that close by and don't hesitate to call if you need to. You are in dire need of extra help right now. It's good that you're reaching out and asking for it.

I realize you just got out of the hospital, but you may need a touch-up still, so to speak. Please don't hesitate to call 911 or go to the emergency room if you need to.

Consider calling a family member or friend to come over and hang out with you -- just to talk or watch a movie. I find if I'm not alone, the hurricane in my mind quiets a little. How about getting out of the house?

Keep writing and let us know how you're doing.

Be well,
(((hugs)))
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18777
   Posted 2/7/2010 8:23 PM (GMT -7)   
keep safe, have been down that dark road, trust me it is dark, painful and extremely destructive. i have had 28 admissions, and all of them have saved my life, thus if you need an admission then please go. sometimes it takes a bit to get your wheels going, so hold on. keep talking with your doc/hospital, support at this time is crucial. we care, so be safe and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18777
   Posted 2/12/2010 6:49 AM (GMT -7)   
jenn, jamie popping in to see how ya doin'. hoping you are safe, we care, hoping you are feeling a little better, one day at a time, with healing compassion, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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