This is stupid.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Bravery
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/8/2010 12:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Yeah, I'm depressed. Shocker there, posting in the depression forum and all that. I feel like a total idiot, because I should be able to handle this by myself, but apparently I can't because I'm sitting here crying like my insignificant problems matter in some way.

First off, I'll just say that this is dumb. I shouldn't be posting once again in some forum that I heard of, that all this should go away, because nothings really wrong, there is no situation that I should be depressed about, I just am depressed. It's killing my friend's relashonships with me, and they're all starting to not even give a darn. Whenever I talk about it, I can tell they're so dissapointed, and I feel like a total jack ass because it's only making it worse on them anyway.

Basically here's my problem: I feel as if everything that's special about me is gone, and all that's left is this washed up person that I am that nobody really likes to be around. I used to have girls talk to me all the time, and now it's like nothing. Nobody even cares anymore, I used to be liked, I used to be complemented almost daily, but know I find myself doing the exact same thing, and everyone's already seen it already, and don't care. Like I'm just a washed up has-been that everyone's had their fun with and are throwing away like a useless piece of crap. I feel like I have no good qualities anymore, like nobody can ever think of me in high regard, that I'm just this average person that's just there and no-one will care about. I haven't received a compliment since christmas, and before that it was june. Go figure. I feel like I'm not progressing at anything, like I'm not getting better. Getting worse actually. Sinking into a dark pit I will never get out of.

So basically, how do I change all this? How do I get my mindset back where it's happy again? I'm so tired of torturing my friends and having them be concerned to the point where they've run out of things to say trying to help. I feel so horrible, and sometimes I think it'd just be better for everyone around me if I was gone... and that people would care if I was gone past two weeks. Nobody. I'm not having suicidal thoughts or anything, it just depresses me. (Obviously)

Oh, yeah, and I'm 17. But you probably could have guessed that. Please help me, I'm pathetic enough already, so there's only room for improvement.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 2/8/2010 2:00 AM (GMT -7)   
  1. you are not pathetic.
  2. you are not a jack-ass.
  3. your friends don't fully understand-i hope hey will with some education.
  4. depression sucks-but there are ways to eliviate it
  5. you are human, and sadly depression does not discriminate, sadly people assume that the reason(s) for depression are because of things going pear shaped, this is not true. it come come about and affect us for many reasons, some we learn about via therapy, something i suggest and ofcourse because of chemical imbalances in the brain. sadly they go hand in hand, but with effective treatment you will get better.
  6. my suggestion to you is to see your doctor for a assessment, there are many effective treatments to help you fight your condition.
  7. you are young also, thus a medical may be warranted also, hormones, puberty, etc. i had trouble in this area myself, thus getting things checked out will help.
  8. depression is an insidious beast, thus whilst your young i would strongly suggest that you seek a medical professional for an opinion, assessment, and for management also. i wish you well. with compassion, jamie

YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 2/8/2010 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Bravery,

You have gotten some great advice from Jamie, I think that counseling would be the best way to go.

You seem to be worried about others reactions to you. You have to work on yourself first. Then people will seem differently. You are worried about compliments. So the feedback is what is concerning you. We don't always get compliments from other people. You need not care what others think, just what you feel yourself. If you are confident and feeling good, what other people think doesn't matter. So please check out counseling. I think you need some self esteem.

Best wishes to you. I hope that you feel better soon. You have the power, you just don't realize it.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Bravery
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/8/2010 11:57 AM (GMT -7)   
I really do not want to go to a counselor/therapist- Mainly because our family is very poor, and we cannot afford it. I had one when my parents were getting divorced, but that was when we were getting child support from my wealthy father, and he somehow managed to weasel his way out of it.

Is there any steps I can take on my own to try and get better? If there isn't, or I do those steps and there isn't any improvement, I'll talk to my mom about it, but we're living on $12 an hour (even though my mom has a bachelors and had a 3.99 in college), and really cannot afford anything like that.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 2/8/2010 12:03 PM (GMT -7)   
There are programs for low income families. You need to be your own advocate. The only other thing I can offer is to get a book on depression. There is one called "the new mood therapy" by David D. Burns M.D. that is very good. If you get on internet you can find it with a lot of other books. I hope that this helps you some.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 2/8/2010 11:02 PM (GMT -7)   
depression sucks, albeit you need to fight it. keep posting, we care and understand depression. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/9/2010 10:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Bravery,

I assume you're still in school -- you can talk to your school psychologist or counselor, and they can help you find some resources for you. Also, many mental health clinics offer services on a sliding scale.

Good luck and hang in there,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 2/9/2010 11:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Bravery,
First off, let me say that having taught high school, it's quite common for people to change friends for a while and people who used to be part of one group end up alone for a while until they are able to join another group of friends (and then often enough they eventually end up reconnecting with the first group of friends). So please don't credit everything that's happening to feeling sad/depressed. High school is a time of a lot of changes. I really struggled with it myself. I was sure everyone hated me for quite a while. Then I figured they didn't actually hate me -- but they didn't seem to spend any effort trying to include me. Times were tough. My home life was awful - I was beaten on a daily basis, sometimes to the point of broken bones. And trying to be happy at school seemed pointless & impossible.

Honestly, I don't feel like I ever really figured things out, but in spite of that I was in my senior year given an award by my peers that basically was for the person you most appreciated out of my class of 300. I guess I just kinda kept involved in what I could & somehow it worked out. My parents wouldn't allow me to see a counselor because they were worried I would tell the counselor about what was going on at home. So I went to the library and read a lot of books about psychology. My favorite was "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. He is a concentration camp survivor & a psychologist who talks about how to survive difficult times & maintain a connection with other people and/or your higher power.

I think the others gave good suggestions about finding a psychologist, but if you are not able to do that for whatever reason, I would still encourage you to try to read about how other people have managed situations similar to your own. You are going through a lot with your parents' divorce & your mom not being able to find a good-paying job (I know the feeling) & probably a number of other things you haven't yet mentioned. But there is hope. People do survive horrible situations. They do go through times where they feel really down & hopeless, and come out of the situation successful and truly happy with their lives.

Keep hanging in there. Try to stay connected with your friends (though perhaps another outlet for your depressive thoughts might be good -- a teacher, a counselor, a minister/rabbi, your mom, or even a journal). And know that there are many people in this world who would wish you well.

blessings & peace,
frances

Bravery
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/9/2010 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone. It's nice to hear responses so quickly. I'm going to talk to my mom today about it, see what we can do. I'll do a lot of research, read some books as well.

Thanks again, I wish you all well.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 2/9/2010 8:47 PM (GMT -7)   
all the best bravery. keep in touch. jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


Bravery
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/9/2010 10:35 PM (GMT -7)   
So I was thinking about it today, as I was home sick from school, and I realized that this isn't a constant state. It switches from just normal(not happy not sad) to full blown depression. Back and forth.

I have no idea what that is.

ashhealed
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 2/10/2010 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bravery,
I have a frend who is going thru da exact same phase....and he has coped up really well..hope u do too...try building up a high self esteem and try up to build up love and not hatred around people...do some activities which u r interested at....and which u really love doing a lot!after all u are one of ur kind and list down the people who u really care about and who will be really proud to see u gaining urself...in dis way u ll try ur best!!! al the best!!Hope u do well....life is one and it the moments r unique so always live dem like u r living for a fleet of it!!
with lots of faith.and da username u have used itself tells dat u still have it in u... :)

Bravery
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/13/2010 7:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I've been making some improvement. Been talking to my friends more... and just talking, I think not talking about it actually helps more than talking about it does, because then it's easier not to think about. One of my friends really has been able to cheer me up a bit, and I've been writing a lot more and doing a lot more with music. I'm on the mend, although my motivation still is lacking heavily.

Just an update for those who cared.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 2/13/2010 7:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Bravery,

I am so happy that you posted. And it sounds like you are doing good. I am very happy for you.

I know that there are times when not talking about things is easier than talking about them because you don't have to think about them. Not everything goes that way, but if it isn't that important, then don't think about it. Like me for instance. I owe some money for a credit card machine that I had back in 2002. I never think of it unless the bill collectors call. Then I ignore it. I don't care about it enough to worry about it. And if I did worry, what good would it do me? None...

If it is things that have happened in the past. Your mind will let you know when it is time to deal with it. So you need not worry about that either. If it is personal issues, well, deal with it when you feel like it. Like they say, don't sweat the small stuff. And it is all small stuff. lol...

I am glad that you are looking at this from another perspective. We have too much stuff to worry about as it is just trying to feel good. That is my goal every day.

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 2/13/2010 11:00 PM (GMT -7)   
tongue doing well mate. keep up the good reflective work. things do get better. tis a lot like school, the more you put in the better the results!! in ya corner, jamie.
 
a happy face 4 you. tongue tongue tongue
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 2/14/2010 11:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Bravery,
That's great! Keep up the good work. :)

frances

Bravery
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/15/2010 12:27 AM (GMT -7)   
I was doing some research today, and I was wondering if it was possible if this could be caused by some kind of weird hormonal inbalance, like low testosterone or something of that type... It seems to be like mood swings and low energy and crap like that, but I thought that it was rare or nonexistant or something. Is something like this a possibility? Just a chemical/hormonal thing?

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 2/15/2010 3:50 AM (GMT -7)   
oh yes bravery. me, i do not produce my own testosterone, as a kid i was extremely adrogenous. i was born without testes, have silicon implants now. i was raging for a bit growing up. i have been on the injections, 20 yrs of the subcutaneous pellets, always darn extracting and now the gel-of which is fantastic. puberty was late for me, and the life blood for males is testosterone. my endo was amazed that i did not harm anyone-fluctuating levels. have it checked. a good test is FSH, folicle stimulating hormone. did have a big effect and affect on me, work, school, life etc. thankfully the hypogonadism was picked up early in life. cheers, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


Bravery
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/15/2010 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, I know I have testes and stuff... But that might be quite a bit radical compared to mine, if that's the problem. Is there any other chemical or hormone I might be in lack of?

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 2/15/2010 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   
no idea, that's why u should make am appt 4 your dr. not radical, just how i was born. okay, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/15/2010 9:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Bravery,

thyroid problems can also mask as depression. But frankly, the most common problem is simply depression -- which is not so simple at all. You should talk to a doctor about your concerns.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


Bravery
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/16/2010 7:36 AM (GMT -7)   
I think I've found the cause to my depression, because I put a stop to it and I haven't been mood-switching horribly or gotten into one of my depressed moods yet. I'm not at liberty to say, I'll just have you know it's chemical.

There is a chance that it's not this, but if it is, thanks for all your help. If not, you'll be seeing me again I guess =P

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40574
   Posted 2/16/2010 7:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Bravery,

I hope that you have found your answer. If not, remember that we are always here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Bravery
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 2/16/2010 10:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Another update, hopefully the last.

I have no doubt in my mind that the cause was what I thought it was. While going through an experience today that normally would put me down into the spiral of depression and that horrible mood, I just let it pass by, and the sadness did not overwhelm me. The chemical balance is mending quite quickly, and I actually was in a good mood today for the first time in about 10 months. I shall continue to do what I'm doing, and I should be completely mended in no time.

Thank you all so very much for your love and support, you have allowed me to think about this logically, and I am very grateful. I wish you all the best.

Bravery.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18748
   Posted 2/17/2010 3:22 AM (GMT -7)   
as we do you. jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 3:36 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,719 posts in 301,047 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151202 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Ed Ski.
338 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Michael_T, mtm3461, MauiViv, BKelly


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer