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blink182
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/13/2010 10:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, I've had depression for about 5 years now. I have not gotten better at all in that span. I am failing school and have been for the last several years. I have no friends and NEVER have. I have headaches almost 24/7 and that has been the case since 2nd grade. I have gotten this checked out and nothing came of it. I don't really care about anything at this point. I'm on welbutron or something right now, although I've been on dozens of medications ranging from mood stabilizers to anti depressants. I have been to many doctors for many forms of therapy and have been hospitalized 4 times, two were full time the other 2 were only in the day. Nothing has helped at all. fI feel tired all the time although I get enough sleep. The doctors and the inpatient thing insisted nothing was wrong with me physically that caused me to be tired and that I needed to get sleep and exercise, I told them I do and they basically just shrugged it off. I kinda want to get better, but I haven't the motivation or desire to do so. I'm sure it would be best to just help myself but I don't think I can. The road I'm headed on will lead me to failure, but I dont know, I just cant change it.

Other than depression, I have had anger problems, "manic" behavior, obsessions with violence, and social anxiety which causes me to do stupid thing/dares to get attention and be accepted. Everything from eating things to fighting to just misbehaving in general. After doing stupid things intentionally for so long I now do them impulsively, not to impress anyone, I just do it, its how I act. this has caused further problems. My behavior is at times bizarre and I do things that essentially turn people off. For some reason, I enjoy annoying others. For example, about a week ago I made an anonymous email address and sent random and annoying text messages to everyone I knew. I found it funny, obviously they did not. Things like this are truly one of the only things I get any happiness out of. I have mild interest in some things, however I am either too physically tired to do them or I realize they are pointless and quit. This includes sports and music. what can I do, what should I do, anything? I am not seeing a doctor atm because after years of no results I just dont bother anymore. The only doctor i see is the one who gives prescriptions.

also, what do you think my problem is, given the symptoms I listed? I have heard depression, bipolar, and a few other things. I'm sure depression is part of it but I think theres more to it and its not bipolar

by the way, I don't know if this forum is intended for kids or not, if it isnt, sorry.

Post Edited (blink182) : 2/13/2010 11:00:12 PM (GMT-7)


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 2/13/2010 11:13 PM (GMT -7)   
hey blink182,
 
a lot is going on for you. my advice would be to talk to someone about seeing a good psychiatrist-word of mouth is good also, as is your mental health clinic. i did bizzare stuff too at one stage. you may have a personality disorder? i am no doc, but i live with one currently and was dx with one before this magor one. i feel you need an assessment or two to dx what is going on with you. i hope you seek further assistance soon. pls note that we are here for you, and we want you to get better. my healing compassion to you. jamie. all the best. you have been brave in posting, keep being brave my young friend, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


blink182
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/13/2010 11:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Well ive been to just about every doctor thats ever been recommended by anyone. received diagnosis of depression and bipolar by one person, but I dont think I have bipolar. I'm not sure there are many doctors in the area I havent been to.

also I should mention that its never been suggested that I may have a personality disorder, although after reading about them I think I might have one... Im am actually in shock that this has never been mentioned before.... eyes not so sure the doctors really care that much

Post Edited (blink182) : 2/13/2010 11:29:21 PM (GMT-7)


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 2/14/2010 1:09 AM (GMT -7)   
just a suggestion. also try not to self diagnose, this is dangerous. maybe a chat with your school counsellor? he/she might have some suggestions regarding some specialist services and or referals. i am sure that other members will come on soon-w/e and all-and may have some other ideas. keep safe, with compassion, jamie. ps sometimes it takes a few doc's to find the right dr. all the best.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40592
   Posted 2/14/2010 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I finally went to a psychiatrist for help. And I am so glad that I did. They seem to be better at finding the right meds for an individual. Also see his nurse for counseling, so that is convenient. She is a psychologist. And part of her therapy is massage. So cool!!!

I hope that you feel better soon.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


blink182
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/14/2010 6:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been to two psychiatrists and they basically play a guessing game. try this. doesnt work? try this. I shuffled through probably 20 med combos. I still see one. But he is stuck on diagnosis of depression / bipolar and has never really gone beyond that, even though I told him I dont think
I have bipolar and its not just depression. The only psychiatrist in town left so I'm going to the only one within a 2 hour drive now.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/14/2010 6:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Blink,

Why are you so sure you don't have bipolar? Obviously, as you can see, I have it, and I know MANY members on the bipolar forum refuse their diagnosis for quite a while before finally getting proper treatment. I'm not saying you do have bipolar, but what makes you think the doc is wrong? What medications are you on right now?

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar and Depression Forums
Bipolar II

"Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life." - CARRIE FISHER


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40592
   Posted 2/14/2010 6:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Blink,

You said yourself that you have anger and manic episodes. That means that you are bipolar. Manic depressive is what it use to be called. I would listen to the doctor and try harder, you said that you didn't feel like helping yourself. But you have to try or you wont get better.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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