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Lux et Veritas
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/20/2010 12:09 PM (GMT -7)   

I’m broken and no one can fix me. I’m broken and don’t work right. I just keep spinning in circles. The wirings all messed up. Pieces are missing. I am what I am I don’t know if I can be more.

I have a disease I am my disease. What is it the makes me who I am if I lost the pain would I still be me. If I’m shell of what I was is it worth it.  

I love what I can never have but to abandon that love would be kill a piece of me. It would betray the thing I love more than myself.   

What do you do when it your soul that needs to be amputated?

 I have desires and wants that only bring me pain. But if did not want and desire I would be nothing. Tell me what is the point of getting better if you’re not you after? Or what is the point of suffering without hope? And what do you when you only choices are between the two.    


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 2/20/2010 12:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lux et veritas,

Welcome to the HealingWell depression forum. I am glad that you have joined us. We are all fixable. It just takes a lot of hard work. But nothing good comes easy. That is just a part of life and our lives with depression. So don't think that you are not fixable, because you are. Seeing a doctor and talking about counseling or medication would be the ticket for you. You have many unanswered questions, some of which we don't get tha answers to until later in life. But a good counselor could help you to find some of the answers to who you are.

Actually we are who we want to be. Think of the counseling as pulling off of the outer layers to find you in the inside. Waiting to come out and be yourself.

I have no clue as to what you are talking about with the things that you want to do that bring you pain. As long as it is within the forum rules, please alaborate. That way we can have an idea as to what you are talking about. So far you have been quite vague about it.

I hope that you start feeling better soon. Remember that there is always hope. But there is also work. But it is worth it in the long run.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Lux et Veritas
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/20/2010 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I love a woman the does not love me and will more than likely never love. This brings me happens and sadness. I would rather live with the sadness then give the desire
But there is a bigger question. I am being treated for depression. My question is where does the depression end and I begin? If losing my pain means I change who I am is it worth losing.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 2/20/2010 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
You will still be the same person. We build character with pain. You can still embrace who you are. Like I say, we are who we want to be. It is as simple as that.

You have to discover yourself. The depression is a part of you and most likely will always be. But it may not always effect you. Not in a negative way anyway. As I said, pain builds character. We are who we are.

I hope that you find your answers. Just don't drive yourself crazy searching. Live life. Not always questioning.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18760
   Posted 2/21/2010 12:01 AM (GMT -7)   
HI  i am me. my name is jamie.
 
depression, mdd, and severe borderline personality disorder are just 2 components of me. i am not my illnessess, i am far greater than this. life is a jourmey, this path is just that. i have many more to travel. wants are okay, but we all have needs. the journey is all about learning, and yes pain, strange that we learn more from pain than joy? my life has been difficult, but it is only beginning. i wish you well, my healing thoughts are being sent. jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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