well, where to start... i guess i have felt depression for most parts of my life. i haven't had the easiest.
as i get older it gets worse. i was on citlopram but stopped taking it because i ran out of meds they didn't
seem to be doing anything for me. i feel like i am waiting around to die. i don't enjoy anything anymore,
even things i used to be passionate about
. i don't see anything positively. most of the people in my life i have
pushed away with my negetivety. people who i used to be best of friends with no longer talk to me. my mother
tells me it's hard to love me when i can't love myself. and with that i sit there thinking why can't i love myself?
i guess i am just ****ed up in a lot of ways. i feel like i have so much sadness i don't know what to do with it.
it's really hard just to get out of bed and want to do anything. i just got fired from my job because i couldn't get
out of bed. taking life one day at a time is even challenging. most of the time i find myself crying. i want help but
don't feel like i can do it on my own. i've told some people about
it but i don't think they take it as serious as i live through this? i have never felt so alone in my life, even my girlfriend doesn't care anymore. I told her i really
needed her tonight but she left me.
It really hurts when you put your trust and expectations into people and they let you down. I guess i just thought
people would care if i told them how i felt. I'm not worth caring about
anymore, i am lifeless.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 2/21/2010 8:24:37 AM (GMT-7)