GAY, FAMILY IS STRICT CHRISTIAN, I FEEL UNDER DEVELOPED, I FIND IT HARD TO LOVE

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weephil
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/25/2010 10:34 AM (GMT -7)   
HI, briefly otherwise il be here all day,

i was borught up in very strict christian circles, with little or no interaction with the outside world, i didnt make many friends and im not tht up to date with what goes on in life. i told my parents in 2007 i was gay, i was told i couldnt live there, i moved out, didnt speak to my parents much til a few omnths after, we used to constanly have rows any time i came round and talked about it. i now live on my own, my parents help me out alot even tho we never mention the gay thing so lots of questions unanswered. their beliefs wil never ever accept gay lifestyle, the think its a choice and can be cured. I have had various relationships with other gay males, i seem to 'love' them at the start because its someone new and exciting and i really like them then after myb a month two months i get bored and drop them even tho they by this stage have built up strong feeligs for me. i don have many close friends as a result of my childhood, jus one or two girls where i work but i wudnt feel safe asking them for help if i was in real trouble etc. i feel some times when i date someone im looking for more like a childhood best friend becasue i missed out on tht as oppossed to someone to love altho i do want to be with someone special for a long time. im fed up getting bored and wonder if this is all because of a previous life experince like a lack of making frineds and interacting with other people because of my childhood.
i would myb like to see a therapist but at the moment because i live on my own, for financial reasons i cant.

all help is gratefully appreciated.
Phil

(apologies for the spelling but i did write this quick)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40591
   Posted 2/25/2010 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello Phil,
 
Welcome to the depression forum.  Though you never really mentioned if you were depressed, though it sounds like you could be.  But I think a lot of it is situational.  Not being able to stay in a relationship and from the feelings of your parents.
 
There are many plans with mental health for people who can't afford it.  Also human resources could help.  If I were you I would check into that. 
 
I am sorry that you are having trouble staying in relationships, but do you think that could be from the fact that you haven't found the right person yet.  Maybe that is why you get bored with it.  Though, I must say, a relationship is something that you have to work at.  It isn't always exciting.  As you mentioned yourself.  The excitement is always in the beginning when you don't really know the other person that well.  Then we drop our guard and become ourselves around eachother.  Then the excitement wears off.  But we are still human underneath and I hope that you didn't hurt the people that you became bored with.  I hope that you could still be friends. 
 
I don't know how much we can help you.  But you will always have our support.  You are experiencing life.  Growing up I guess.  It is interesting none the less.  I hope that you can be happy.
 
I am glad that your parents do help you.  I am sorry that they kicked you out of the house.  I hope that you can continue to have a good relationship.  Even though you don't talk about things, at least they are still there for you.
 
Hugs, Karen


  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 2/25/2010 11:39 AM (GMT -7)   
agree with karen. also life is a journey, maybe getting out with various other people may help. life is all about experience, trial and yes sometimes pain too. sorry about your folks, but you are you. so be you. we are all on journies in life, twists and turns, love and lust, wanting, etc. learning is key, relationships come and go, and in time you will find the right person. agree that some therapy will help. hoping this finds you well. with compassion, jamie. ps if you are feeling depressed a chat with your doc may help-and possibly with some loss cost and free counselling.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


weephil
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 2/28/2010 12:45 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks so much guys for your thoughts and advice, means alot, cuz im often to afraid to approch my friend and open up to them for advice. thanks

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 3/1/2010 3:07 AM (GMT -7)   
wishing you all the best. remain true. with compassion, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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