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JJiggz
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 2/27/2010 8:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I still have a lot on my mind, so I'm hoping unleashing it all on here helps...somewhat.
 
The biggest thing on my mind is school; I go to classes on-line.  They're 5 weeks a piece and I'm currently in the 5th week of my first class back in over 6 months.  I had to stop going to school for 6 months due to my grades and how low they were.  When I started this class I was super excited, and I'm going ot graduate in summer/fall or this year....but now I'm totally unmotivated and could careless again.  I can't figure out how to motivate myself; since this is a HUGE thing.  I need good grades to get into a Masters program somewhere and I just don't care anymore.  I feel like I do good on papers and presentations but then I get grades back and I didn't do as well as I thought.
 
And that last part is what bothers me the most; because I feel like I struggle so much with school but my brother is always better than me. (i mentioned this before ina previous post.) He never studied and always got great grades; and I would study for days and get a C if I was lucky.  It makes me feel like my parents like him more than me too; or that he's the favorite.
 
i am also sitting here alone, another night in...i was home last night too.  it wouldn't be a big deal for most; but i don't do well alone.  that's when my mind wanders to bad things, and i think of all the what if's and the i should have done this things.  i can't even go out, because my car is not working.
 
i just feel like every day in another day deeper in the hole i'm in. i can find things that i dont like, or that have gone wrong, faster than the good things.
 
i dont know if this will even help, or what to do to help. i'm unmotivated to do anything at all...other than some stuff that i shouldnt be doing.  i'm just in a hopeless pit of despair right now.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 2/28/2010 2:50 AM (GMT -7)   
hi jj, sorry to hear that you have hit the wall-i am 3 assignments from finishing, course ended in dec. albeit i took 5 weeks of school, this is because my health comes first. finding the right balance, school, work, life etc is sometimes hard, albeit getting out is really good for our minds, thus maybe some tiime for you is needed. take care, here for you, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


WhiteStone
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 63
   Posted 2/28/2010 6:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi JJ..please remember that your grades are not on your diploma...get through it...I know the true grit it takes to get a degree, especially when the apathy hits...glad you are sharing as this may help you get the mojo (without steriods...lol) you need...best of luck and let us know how it is going...big hugs, J
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell. (Buddha)
 
Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.
Kindness in giving creates love. (Laotzu)



JJiggz
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 2/28/2010 12:18 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you both for your kind words and advice. i really like the "your grades aren't your dipolma" quote....it made a light go on in my head. I am just pushing through the last 2 days of this class before my next one starts. i actually think that the 5 week classes are better for me; i don't lose interest and drive as fast...or so it seems because it's only 5 weeks long. thanks again for responding, both of you, it's always nice to hear from others and hear that they've gone through the same thing too.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18762
   Posted 3/1/2010 3:10 AM (GMT -7)   
am happy. follow the system that suites you best. take care, keep ya chin up. jamie. thx 4 the kind words as well. :-)
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

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