venting with no where to turn

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JJiggz
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 2/28/2010 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
i need to vent and this is the only place that my parents won't look....mainly because they don't know i'm on here.  facebook is no longer safe because they have pages themselves and have already questioned things i've put on there...which is a pain by itself.
 
i was sitting downstairs using my mom's laptop since mine isn't working with the tv on (it helps since i have ADD) and doing homework.  my mom comes down and pretends to ask me to go somewhere else to do homework so that they can watch a movie...in reality i know it's her "polite" way to ask me to leave.  when i complain a little bit they freak out and blow up about how it's their house, and that the movie has been sitting there for a week, blah blah blah.
 
i said i needed to "(enter bad word here) move" and my mom goes "i totally agree".  i would give anything to move out; i was at my boyfriends all week last week and literally was in a better mood and actually was able to relax.  here, if they're not yelling at me for something then they're fighting or just avoiding me in general.
 
being here totally adds to my depression and i can't tell them anything because they don't take me seriously half the time.  i can't afford to move out either; otherwise i would have never moved back home, and i can't convince my boyfriend to move out yet either.  other than complete avoidance or locking myself in my room i am not sure what to do...
 
i'm so frustrated that all the concentration i had on my homework is now gone.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 2/28/2010 6:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi jjiggs,

Can you maybe go into your room and study? Do you have music in your room? You know that you need to study and if they want to watch a movie that there isn't much you can do. And in the meantime you still have to get your work done. So try to study even if you have to do it in your room. You cannot blame them for your moods. Even if they are doing something that is upsetting to you. You have to shake it off and keep on doing what you intended to do, even if it is in another place. You can do this, you have to concentrate.

I am sure that you aren't financially capable of being on your own without your boyfriends help. Do either of you have a job? It is tough out there. So I would abide by your parents rules until you are able to have a place of your own.

I am just saying this so that you take in to consideration the reality of things. I don't want you to jump into something that you aren't able to handle yet. So think twice about what is going on. Let us know what the situation is. Are you working? Would you have a place to go? Let us know, okay...

Take care, think smart.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


JJiggz
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 2/28/2010 9:54 PM (GMT -7)   
After I re-read all that I typed it seemed kind of childish...I do think I need to be a little more adpative for them.

And I do have a job; I hate it, and I don't get paid enough to live away from my parents. My boyfriend has a job as well; but he's not as "excited" about moving out as I am. His dad is what bothers him the most...and I think he may be somewhat scared to move out too. But relationship wise I think it would be good for us; we recently spent a week together and we barely had any bad times.

My parents want me out too...for whatever reason; they've agreed to help pay the security deposit and possibly first month's rent.

Sometimes living here I feel like I'm just an annoyance and burden for them. I try to do what I can, buy groceries for myself, pay for things that I suggest we do; etc....but lately it seems like they just want me out. After I came back for the week they mentioned how nice it was to have the house to themselves. Stuff like that upsets me, because as much as I want to move...it makes me feel unwanted. And that in general sucks. I also feel like I can't tell them everything that's been going on. When I told my mom I wanted to go back to therapy the only reply I got was "oh"....not why, or I think that's a good idea, or anything. Being here is making me more depressed, I feel, because of these things.

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18774
   Posted 3/1/2010 1:10 AM (GMT -7)   
families can get a little bitter at times, they will be better when you can and do get your own place. i think it is because you all are constantly around each other. keep youe chin up, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40602
   Posted 3/1/2010 5:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Don't feel childish. I just wanted you to look at things realistically. I am so sorry that your family makes you feel unwanted. That is so sad to me. But some parents are like that. I guess that they don't get that empty nest syndrome like a lot of them do.

Maybe you shoudl get your own place, especially if they will help you out with the deposit and first months rent. Do you have anybody like a girlfriend that would want to get a place with you? I lived with a girlfriend when I first moved out. I remember one parent was sad, but the other couldn't get me out fast enough. So don't feel alone, I know how you feel.

Take this one day at a time. You will get through it. Find another job, while you are still working. Look for one that you would like more, then switch. You can do this. It helps to be working when you are looking for a new job. Nothing wrong with improving employment places.

I hope that you have a good day today. Know that we are all thinking of you and wish you the best.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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