What is wrong with me????????????

New Topic Locked Topic Printable Version
43 posts in this thread.
Viewing Page :
 1  2 
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

damagedgoods41
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 377
   Posted 3/7/2010 5:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi I need some advice before i completely fall apart. I have come to a point in my life where i cant go out of my front door and have gotten to the point that i only go out twice a week and that's to get my groceries and go to my chemist to get my medication!! I have this huge fear of going out anywhere and even when i go to my local supermarket im having terrible panic attacks and i break down in tears and shake ect!!
Even when i think about having to go down the street i start to panick even before i leave the house. I want to go out and do thing's but the other part of my brain is telling me im not safe if i go out so therfore i stay at home and i know that im safe then. I also have trouble even answering my telephone??? Why am i so scared about all of this and how do i overcome my feeling's of fear??? Even going to my letterbox is a big thing for me now. Im so alone and so afraid and it's just becoming so debilitating feeling this way and i just dont know where to turn or what to do. I try and go for a coffee when im out but i cant anymore so i just get what i have to get and get back home as soon as i can and i hate it so much and have nobody i can talk to at all as i have nobody in my life that even gives a crap about me. When is all of this going to end as im tired of it all and am tired of fighting my fear but i wish i knew why im so scared of leaving my home???? Any dvice would be much apprecaiated. Very confused.
 
sincerley,
 
Beverley....shakehead rolleyes shakehead rolleyes
Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
Strive to be a success but rather to be of value!!!!!!!
 
Dont count the day's,make the day's count!!!!!!
 
No more revenge now;I will think upon revenge!!!!
  • I dont knowthe key to success,but the key to failure

    is trying to please everybody!!!!!!!!!!!

    Life becomes harder for us, when we live life for others!!!

    Without music, life would be a mistake!!!!!!!!!

    Im not young enough to know everything!!!!!!!!

     

     
     
     
     
     
     
     


    Becky77
    Veteran Member


    Date Joined Dec 2005
    Total Posts : 1768
       Posted 3/7/2010 7:30 PM (GMT -7)   
    Did things gradually get to where they are now, or did something happen when you were outside the house that triggered the fear of going out? I have a friend who had panic attacks when she wasn't home, and gradually she stayed home more and more until she didn't want to go out anymore. Basically her fear of not wanting to have a panic attack in front of others is what started it. She had to just force herself to go out, and gradually step up the amount of time she went out for. I don't know if that's possible for you...maybe to try to go outside for small periods of time, even if you sit on your front steps, and build up the time you're able to??
    Becky

    32 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05, Bilateral pulmonary emboli 10/09
    Currently on Humira, Omeprazole, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, Coumadin


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40601
       Posted 3/7/2010 8:33 PM (GMT -7)   
    Hi Bev,

    This is something that you really need to talk to your doctor about. It could just be anxiety, but it could be agorapphobia. Which can be dealt with. I probably spelled that wrong but that it just besides the point. But it is something that is so important for the doctor to know about so that he can treat it. You might need more anxiety medications because of this. Or it might be something that counseling could help. Or even both.

    I got that way for a long time, but it was more like I didn't care to go to the door. I didnt' want to see anybody, I didn't go anywhere, or answer the phone. I just slept. And I did it for two years. That is a lot of wasted time. But I found the right medications and now I am better. I don't go out as much as many, but I don't have the fear of going and I do go on occasion.

    Bev, I do hope that you feel better soon. I hope that this fear goes away. You can over come it with help. If you can't get to the doctor, get a book. See what you have and learn how to treat it. The doctor is always the best route, but books can help you get there.

    Take care,

    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18773
       Posted 3/7/2010 9:22 PM (GMT -7)   
    beverly, time for the doctor sweetie. am here for you, with compassion, jamie. i have been worried a tad about you. time for some professional help. jamie.
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 3/9/2010 5:36 PM (GMT -7)   
    hi and thankyou for your support. Well things are getting worse with me being to scared to leave the house. I havent been out since last Sunday and have to go to work tommorrow but am getting more fearful just nowing i have to go out and it constantly runs through my mind and just makes my anxiety so much worse. I still havent contacted my doctor because i dont want to go and sit in a room full of people and just the thought of it is very overwhelming. I hate this as i feel like a prisoner in my home. I dont know where to turn at the moment and as usual have nobody to talk to about it all and what i can do to stop this going on.
    And Bar77 the answer to ur question about anything triggering all of this off, no nothing has triggered it off it has been gradually creeping up on me for the last couple of years when i look back at everything!!!!! I also havent told my family about any of this as im truly embarrassed and i know that they will all just give me a hard time and wont let me live it down,they will basically ridicule me over it. So as usual im on my own.
     
    sincerley,
     
    beverley...... :(
    Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
    DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
    Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
    Strive to be a success but rather to be of value!!!!!!!
     
    Dont count the day's,make the day's count!!!!!!
     
    No more revenge now;I will think upon revenge!!!!
  • I dont knowthe key to success,but the key to failure

    is trying to please everybody!!!!!!!!!!!

    Life becomes harder for us, when we live life for others!!!

    Without music, life would be a mistake!!!!!!!!!

    Im not young enough to know everything!!!!!!!!

     

     
     
     
     
     
     
     


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18773
       Posted 3/9/2010 10:09 PM (GMT -7)   
    beverly, u need some support. life-line are really good for some support and a chat. with compassion, jamie
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    Queen of the Colon
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Dec 2009
    Total Posts : 143
       Posted 3/10/2010 6:21 AM (GMT -7)   
    Hello dear

    bless you

    the moderator is right: see your doctor.

    But, in the meantime... I have discovered that the way to conquer fear is to have more of it - ie: push your boundaries.

    If going outside scares you, shut your eyes and run out of the house in a clown suit - and everyone will stare at you. But you know what? You won't be so scared to go out wearing normal clothes after that.

    It helps to put things in perspective I think.

    Then make sure you leave the house at least once a day if only to walk around the block - it will help normalise it.

    you are not scared of things you do all the time, so make it part of your daily routine.
    Female, 35. Diagnosed December 2009 after 4 months of pain, blood and mucous.
    sulfasalazine prescribed but never taken as my flare went away with small liquid meals, probiotics and vitamins.


    Queen of the Colon
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Dec 2009
    Total Posts : 143
       Posted 3/10/2010 6:25 AM (GMT -7)   
    and also if you have the means to do so, check out some of the adult education courses.

    I don't know if you have them in your area but there would be something like it

    we have it - 7pm to 9pm on week nights, at a local high school. There are so many different classes - languages , cookery, art - portrait painting, sculpture, hat making, beading, woodwork

    you can learn a skill and it is fun. No pressure - and best of all you meet lots of new people which will get you talking and out of the house.

    It will give you something to focus on other than yourself and your fear.

    I think it could be healthy for you
    Female, 35. Diagnosed December 2009 after 4 months of pain, blood and mucous.
    sulfasalazine prescribed but never taken as my flare went away with small liquid meals, probiotics and vitamins.


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18773
       Posted 3/12/2010 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   
    beverly, am here for you. jamie.
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    ivy6
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Sep 2005
    Total Posts : 10404
       Posted 3/13/2010 2:08 AM (GMT -7)   
    Beverly, I am really struggling at the moment and my psychologist gave me a stuffed toy to take home with me that I can touch or hug whenever I am upset, and remind myself that I am going to get better, because I am getting help.

    I wonder if some sort of talisman like that might help you too? I suspect a cuddly toy might be a tad conspicuous for you to take out of the house, but maybe something else would work? You could keep it in your handbag or in your pocket or even in your hand as a symbol of your courage and to reassure yourself that you *can* do this; you *can* get out of the house.

    Might that help?

    At the very least, I would encourage you to stand by your window for at least ten minutes several times a week, or in an open doorway where you can get some direct sunlight. Vitamin D is important: if you get deficient you are going to feel even worse.

    All the very best to you,

    Ivy.
    Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

    Medications for Crohn's ~~ Diet and Nutritional Therapy for Crohn's ~~ Dealing with Abscesses and Fistulae ~~


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40601
       Posted 3/13/2010 5:23 PM (GMT -7)   
    Beverly,

    Just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you. I hope that everything is okay.

    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    millicent
    New Member


    Date Joined Mar 2010
    Total Posts : 6
       Posted 3/13/2010 11:22 PM (GMT -7)   
    crumbs, thats confusing not knowing why youre getting afraid to go out. you need a carer who will walk with you, take you out and talk to you. I saw a documentary on this awhile ago and it helped no end.

    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18773
       Posted 3/14/2010 1:50 AM (GMT -7)   
    beverly, how are you? you have my e-mail. if not it is in my profile. happy for you to contact me. with healing compassion, jamie.
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 3/17/2010 9:36 PM (GMT -7)   
    well here i am again and my life is getting worse and worse. Im at the point that i cant go out anywhere without falling apart and having major panic attacks. Im at the point of no return and dont see anything positive in the future,meaning i really have no future!!! I cant laugh anymore,nothing excites me at all and i really dont have anything that i want to do so i sit here day in and day out doing the same thing over and over everyday and it's sending me around the twist (literally). I also still haven't gotten to my doc's because im so fearful about going out and sitting in a very crowded room knowing im going to panic and freak out. I truly hate my whole being and really dont want to go on anymore as im tired of fighting my demons.
     
    sincerly,
     
    beverley......shakehead smhair shakehead smhair
    Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
    DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder & o.c.d.!!!
    Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
    Strive to be a success but rather to be of value!!!!!!!
     
    Dont count the day's,make the day's count!!!!!!
     
    No more revenge now;I will think upon revenge!!!!
  • I dont knowthe key to success,but the key to failure

    is trying to please everybody!!!!!!!!!!!

    Life becomes harder for us, when we live life for others!!!

    Without music, life would be a mistake!!!!!!!!!

    Im not young enough to know everything!!!!!!!!

     

     
     
     
     
     
     
     


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18773
       Posted 3/18/2010 2:25 AM (GMT -7)   
    beverly, can your doc do a call out? something to think about. at least it will be very personal and private. am real worried about you. with compassion, jamie.
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40601
       Posted 3/18/2010 6:29 AM (GMT -7)   
    Hi Beverly,

    I agree with Jamie, call your doc and maybe he will call in something for anxiety. Do you take anything for that now? I am also really worried about you and think you deserve to be happy and fearless. Please make that call. And if you have to go in, maybe they will take you in right away so that you don't ahve to wait in the waiting room with the others. You need some help and support now.

    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    Queen of the Colon
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Dec 2009
    Total Posts : 143
       Posted 3/18/2010 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   
    Beverley stop fighting your demons right now and pull yourself together.

    You may have a medical problem, a chemical imbalance in your brain. So it is a practical problem with a practical solution. If your tap breaks, you put a new tap on, right? If you break your arm you go to the doctor and get a plaster cast.

    So if you have a chemical imbalance in your brain you go to the doctor and you get treatment.

    What you are describing is not normal, seek help now from your doctor. Pick up the phone and ring them. Explain you are feeling like you cannot leave the house to visit them.

    If you have to call an ambulance to take you to hospital. They will come and collect you!

    After you get treatment, go outside, and help somebody - volunteer for a charity.

    get out there and get talking to people, get involved in your community. What you need is a social network.

    You need people.

    Don't throw your life away. Your life is important and there are many people you can help. Those people need you though you haven't met them yet.
    Female, 36. Diagnosed December 2009 after 4 months of pain, blood and mucous.
    sulfasalazine prescribed but never taken as my flare went away with small liquid meals, probiotics and vitamins.


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 3/18/2010 5:22 PM (GMT -7)   
    I was supposed to go sand see my Grandaughter Tahlia yesterday and i tried to pull myself together for about 2 hours then when it came to me walking out the front door i went into a very full on panick attack and totally fell apart and i couldn't do it and i feel so terrible for Tahlia as it's just not fair on her. I also know that i have to see my doc but it's not that simple for me as im terrified about what happen's to me when i do have to go out!!! I am trying very hard but am starting to feel powerless when it comes to keeping myself together. My doctor wont come out to my home as most doctor's in Australia dont do a house call unless ur an elderly person. Also to Queen of the Colon i am on medications for my M/ILNESS but i really dont think it's helping me at all and im truly sick of trying so many drugs that either have terrible side effects or just dont work for me??? I also cant just pull myself together as it's not that easy for me to do so. As i have said i am trying but seem to be hitting a brickwall with nowhere to turn and i also dont have anyone to talk to about what's going on with me and that makes thing's even harder for me as im so alone with all of this. Thankyou all for ur kind words and support!!!!! Believe me i am trying but it's terribly hard.
     
    Sincerly,
     
    Beverley.....scool shakehead scool shakehead
    Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
    DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder,o.c.d. and just dx with agoraphobia!!!!!!!!
    Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
    Strive to be a success but rather to be of value!!!!!!!
     
    Dont count the day's,make the day's count!!!!!!
     
    No more revenge now;I will think upon revenge!!!!
  • I dont knowthe key to success,but the key to failure

    is trying to please everybody!!!!!!!!!!!

    Life becomes harder for us, when we live life for others!!!

    Without music, life would be a mistake!!!!!!!!!

    Im not young enough to know everything!!!!!!!!

     

     
     
     
     
     
     
     


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40601
       Posted 3/19/2010 5:24 AM (GMT -7)   
    Hi Beverly,

    I am sorry that you are struggling so. I hope that things get better soon. Have you tried calling your doc and seeing if he will call anything in for you so that you don't have to go to the office?

    You are going to have to leave the house sooner or later. How is this effecting your job? We are all really concerned about you. I imagine that it is hard staying in with the family.

    Take care,

    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18773
       Posted 3/19/2010 5:44 AM (GMT -7)   
    beverly, me worried too, especially with the anxiety/isolation. what about going out by car? cab? i want you to get out. smell the fresh air. maybe a ride to somewhere peaceful on the peninsula? heaps of plenty qiuet spots. post back. you are welcome to e-mail me as well. stay strong and know that we care about you; furthermore know that we know that you are doing tough. i just do not want to see you spiriling my dear. with healing compassion, jamie.
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    damagedgoods41
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Sep 2009
    Total Posts : 377
       Posted 3/22/2010 9:06 PM (GMT -7)   
    Goodness when is all this panic and fear going to stop as i really cant cope with it for much longer. And again i was supposed to see my doc tomorrow but all morning ive been in panic mode just thinking about having to go there so again i rang and spoke to his receptionist Trish who know's me well but didn't know i have this problem until i told her about half an hour ago and i told her that i am having trouble leaving my home ect then she started to argue with me and said you have to come in whether you like it or not and she was very nasty toward's me and had me in tears until i told her off,then she apoligized. Anyway i have made an appointment for next week to see him so hopefully i will be able to attend???? I just want this horrible feeling to stop and i want to be able to go out without any fear or anxiety. It's also affecting me physically to the point that im feeling very nauseaus,vomiting and rapid weight loss and just feel weak all of the time. I dont know what else to say anymore.
     
    sincerly,
     
    Beverley......shocked shakehead shocked shakehead
    Permanent ileostomy,radical hysterectomy & bi-lateral ophrectomy,bi-lateral mastectomy,atonic bladder.
    DX chronic depression,bi-polarr11,panic disorder,o.c.d. and just dx with agoraphobia!!!!!!!!
    Currently taking Avanza 30mg,Abilify 20mg,Seroquel 200mgs,Asprin,Valium 5mgs & Sandrena HRT gel 1.0mgs
    Strive to be a success but rather to be of value!!!!!!!
     
    Dont count the day's,make the day's count!!!!!!
     
    No more revenge now;I will think upon revenge!!!!
  • I dont knowthe key to success,but the key to failure

    is trying to please everybody!!!!!!!!!!!

    Life becomes harder for us, when we live life for others!!!

    Without music, life would be a mistake!!!!!!!!!

    Im not young enough to know everything!!!!!!!!

     

     
     
     
     
     
     
     


    ebrukilic
    Regular Member


    Date Joined Mar 2010
    Total Posts : 21
       Posted 3/22/2010 9:55 PM (GMT -7)   
    hi beverely

    i hope ur ok :( listen i have been thru depression myself and i know its hard and sometyms u feel like u want to be alone but trust me its not the answer. ive had anxiety aswell but the best thing for it was not trapping myself but surrounding myself with a circle of supporting friends.

    i read that ur from australia and so am i. change ur doctor or find a doctor that can come treat u at home untill u feel better.

    if u need anything at all email me i could be close by and i will try and help u as much as i can.

    x0x0 be strong
    21yrs old have had crohns disease since 2003
    previous meds include pentasa imuran prednisone budesinide remicade and plenty more that havent worked :)
    currently on humira 20mg every 2weeks
    1 operation to date removed 30cm of bowel and 1 fistula
    trying to get pregnant (fingers crossed) :)))


    getting by
    Forum Moderator


    Date Joined Sep 2007
    Total Posts : 40601
       Posted 3/23/2010 4:22 AM (GMT -7)   
    Beverly,

    It looks like you have a friend now from your neck of the woods. I think that is wonderful. I am glad that you made that other appointment and are not giving up. Once you make it there, you are on your way to better days. You just have to get the right medicaions I think.

    I hope this finds you feeling better.

    Hugs, Karen
      Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
     
    fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


    THE HAPPY TURTLE
    Elite Member


    Date Joined Mar 2009
    Total Posts : 18773
       Posted 3/23/2010 5:29 AM (GMT -7)   
    BEVERLY, BE STRONG AND ATTEND THE APPT. WE BELEIVE IN YOU!! YOU CAN DO IT, AND YOU WILL FEEL MUCH, MUCH BETTER FOR DOING IT!! WE ARE ALL WITH YOU. WITH HEALING COMPASSION, JAMIE.
    YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
     
    DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
     
    REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


    YouRaiseMeUp
    New Member


    Date Joined Mar 2010
    Total Posts : 4
       Posted 3/25/2010 2:29 AM (GMT -7)   
    I'm new, but I just wanted to say that the longer you put it off the harder it is going to get. You really should go see your doctor, and if you can't go by yourself maybe have somebody escort you there. That way you aren't alone. I hope that this gets better for you. With Prayers~
    New Topic Locked Topic Printable Version
    43 posts in this thread.
    Viewing Page :
     1  2 
    Forum Information
    Currently it is Friday, December 09, 2016 8:22 PM (GMT -7)
    There are a total of 2,735,708 posts in 301,325 threads.
    View Active Threads


    Who's Online
    This forum has 151423 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Job_the_Phoenix.
    289 Guest(s), 13 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
    Krimpet 🍔, ThomJane, FearBug, Job_the_Phoenix, ppm guy, Gear, NiceGuyEddie, Loutucky, Girlie, NewspaperLover, Sheeks175, Mokes, straydog


    Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
    Advertisement
    Advertisement

    ©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

    Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer