I am not sure if I am asking even the right thing

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monday99
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/8/2010 1:44 AM (GMT -7)   
I am married for 9 years with a child but got emotionally involved with someone nearly 5 years ago, we never ever had any other relationship but were the best of friends. We again, never had any open discussions whether he really loved me or just looked upon me as his closest mate, nor had any physical intimacy. In saying that, I have always been honest with him, I've always told him how much I love him. I (took it for granted) that he was equally involved but was wrong when I discovered 5 months ago that he was going to have his second child . That's how I realized that it was only me who went too far in the relationship, I don't know if I am undergoing depression but it's impossible for me to overcome him, I can't sleep in the nights at all, I cannot get over his thoughts even for a moment and crying when I am on my own. At the same time, I do realize he never made any commitments to me and I have reduced my communication with him ; it's not helping though because he was the only one I've always shared my feelings with, I've always been "over-sensitive" to things. The time when he told me he was due for his second child, I quit my job too as we were working together. I wanted to see him as less as possible I could. It seems to me there is no further direction to my life, I am trying to find a purpose. As I previously mentioned, inspite of all my efforts, this is not helping, in fact, making it worse. Could someone please give me some advice?

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 3/8/2010 2:33 AM (GMT -7)   
hi monday. jamie here, male, 37.
 
tis hard what you are going through. it is the letting go that is the hardest. you will remeber the positives, and it sounds like there were many, but for you to move on i feel you need to let him go. how, well i feel it is different for different people and situations. maybe some counselling will help. it does sound like your possible depression is situational-i am only going by what is in your post-thus having a chat with your doctor may be the go. i do not want this situation causing you undue pain, i know that it is, but i want you to live life in the here and now, and if this is impeeding this then seeking some assistance will be truely benefical. i am sorry about this situation, but life is a journey, life is about learning and life is about experience. remember that we are here for you. with compassion, jamie.
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 3/8/2010 6:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Monday,

Welcome to the depression forum. Jamie gave you some good advice, and the counseling would be good for you.

Can you save your marriage? Do you love your husband? What makes you happy? These are things you need to go over in your head to try to move forward. Don't let this past relationship leave you stuck in the mud. Move on the best you can. But one day at a time. I think you can do this. And your depression is most likely situational like Jamie said. But I really think you can beat this.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


monday99
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/9/2010 1:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jamie and Karen,
 
I really appreciate your encouragement and advice. I feel a lot better now and hopefully with your kind support, I am sure will get over it.
Thanks, once again, for all your time and concerns.
Monday
 

THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 3/9/2010 4:10 AM (GMT -7)   
good monday. pleased for you. smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin  jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40573
   Posted 3/9/2010 9:39 AM (GMT -7)   
HI Monday,

I am glad that you are feeling better. That is the best that we can hope for at times, and it really does help. I am happy that you are comfortable posting here, and know that we are always here for you.

Have a great day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


THE HAPPY TURTLE
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 18747
   Posted 3/10/2010 2:24 AM (GMT -7)   
monday, we like to here the postives too!! take care, jamie
YESTERDAY IS A BUTTERLY WITHOUT WINGS. (ME)
 
DX, MDD, SEVERE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.


monday99
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/14/2010 3:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks again.
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